Release: May 29, 2012
Film: Mr. Magoo (1997)
This review contains examples of:
- Anvil on Head: The Critic has to dodge a large safe dropping from the sky when he asks the audience if they remember his dislike for The Flintstones. He then adds that he can't stand the animated Mr. Magoo either, wherupon a much smaller one drops on his head... to no effect.NC: ...obviously, not as big a backlash.
- Ax-Crazy: During the Critic's confrontation with the real Mr. Magoo, the old man beats the crap out of him, revealing that he not only can see, but he's also a total psychopath who enjoys drinking blood.
- Bestiality Is Depraved: When Mr. Magoo is preparing a chicken and the TV accidentally gets switched to a workout show, the Critic wonders what would happen if the TV switched to a porno.Voice 1: Next, I want you to...
Voice 2: ...Put your big, long cock inside me.
Critic: (as Magoo) Well okay, if it insists. (mimes humping the chicken) - Bitch in Sheep's Clothing: In the ending, the Critic finds out that Mr. Magoo isn't as loving as he seems.
- Call-Back:
- Critic recalls when he said he hated The Flintstones, followed by
dodging a falling large safe. Mentioning he hates the Magoo cartoons got him hit with a much smaller safe that doesn't even faze him. - He's annoyed at seeing both Ernie Hudson and Malcolm McDowell in this movie, as both have appeared in previous Critic reviews and he laments that good actors are wasting their time in flicks like this.
- Critic recalls when he said he hated The Flintstones, followed by
- Cruel Twist Ending: Played for Laughs of course. When the Critic tracks down the real Mr. Magoo to challenge him in a fight, he gets his ass kicked by him.
- Driven to Suicide: When the movie does an over-the-top "wah wah" sting:Critic: That's right, folks. You just witnessed a film where they actually played the wah-wah-wah music. Little known fact, the composer actually killed himself three minutes later after being forced to write that piece.
- Good Is Dumb: The Critic sums up the film's main heroes as stupid morons.
- Hypocrite: Critic says that the film is hypocritical when there's a message at the end saying that the film wasn't meant to offend blind/nearsighted people when the text is too small to be read by that particular group.
- I Need a Freaking Drink: Upon seeing Mr Magoo's eggplant-themed vehicle, the bewildered Critic immediately downs a shot of vodka.
- Inkblot Test: The Critic is confused about the tattoo Mr. Magoo has on his chest, and slows down the footage to make random guesses:Critic: Is it a drawing of the Alamo? SpongeBob's Spaceship? An explosion of pubic hair? (snaps) Okay, movie, you're forcing me to look really close at wrinkly Leslie Nielsen chest! Not cool! Not, we're not on good terms right now!
- Iris Out:
- Critic says that an outrageous hat worn by a woman at the beginning looks like an iris that didn't close all the way.
- Later in the review, a woman is walking away from the camera and an iris to a new scene appears to be coming out of her butt.
Critic: Apparently, there was another scene in that woman's ass! Hey, if someone told me the rest of this movie came out of someone's behind, I'd believe it. - Mishmash Museum: Discussed as it pertains to this movie and a previous movie he reviewed:Critic: By the way, you ever notice how bad movies have really poorly designed museums? Didn't Batman & Robin also have the same rare jewel/dinosaur/Egyptian art/exotic plantlife exhibit? A little cluttered, don't you think?
- Nightmare Fuel Station Attendant: Critic describes Magoo as this as he finds it disturbing how the main protagonist spends hours in a mummy sarcophagus, damages everything and everyone around him, and wears a wedding dress.
- No-Holds-Barred Beatdown: Magoo gives the Critic one at the end.
- Obfuscating Disability/ Obfuscating Stupidity: The ending reveals that Mr. Magoo was only pretending to be a senile blind old man to get a handicap sticker on his car.
- Obligatory Joke: When one of the cops says, "Freeze!", The Critic pulls a clip which plays "I was frozen today!", and adds, "I impel my obligation."
- Overly Long Gag: The Critic sums up Mr. Magoo's blindness as a clichéd joke that goes on far too long.
- Running Gag: Whenever a dead animal is manhandled, Critic wonders what the families of said animal will think, followed by an animated dramatization.
- Shout-Out:
- Critic compares the animated Magoo from the animated credits opening to Leslie Neilsen as the live Magoo to having a Popeye cartoon go from him to Michael Clarke Duncan as the sailor.
Critic as Duncan: Yo, I'm Popeye and shit.- Critic says Magoo's scene with the chicken was stolen from Mr. Bean.
- The commercial break bridge parodies Late Night with David Letterman.
- The Sociopath: The Critic's interpretation of Magoo himself, who isn't really blind at all (he says it so he can get a handicapped parking space).
- Take That!:
- Critic mentions an old saying from the 1990s that "If it's broken, Disney's found a screenplay".
- Also...
Critic: It was an age when ideas to make movies out of was at an all-time lo—(a poster for Battleship appears) Well, almost all-time low.- On that note, throughout the entire review the Critic takes shots at the animated series the film was based on, ripping it apart as a one-joke premise devoid of any real laughs.
- This Is Gonna Suck: The moment he hears the music over the Disney vanity plate, the Critic immediately says "Wow, the first second. Literally the first second of this film annoys me! Nah, there's only 5,492 to go!"
- What the Hell, Hero?: Played for Laughs. The Critic questions why multiple talented actors agreed to star in this film.
"No one has ever been able to finger her."
