Release: May 11, 2010
Film: The Care Bears Movie (1985)
This review contains examples of:
- Alternative Character Interpretation: Invoked; The Critic wonders if The Spirit is getting eaten out as she speaks, which is why her voice sounds erotic and euphoric.Critic: (immitating The Spirit) Those cute, cuddly little bears. Ahh, ahh! Oh, oh, they care so much. Mmm, oh, I love a happy ending.
- Bowel-Breaking Bricks: Happens to the Critic when he dubs Judge Doom's voice over Nicholas.Critic: That was a brick. That was literally a brick.
- Circular Reasoning: At the end of the review, the Critic wonders about the Spirit's motivation behind her actions, leading him to meet the Spirit over this matter:Spirit: It was to make the people of the world stop caring.
Critic: I knew that. But why did you want that to begin with?
Spirit: I don't know, I don't care.
Critic: Oh, I see. Because you don't care, nobody else cares. It keeps going around in circles.
Spirit: Yeah, it's kinda like that... - Comically Missing the Point: The Critic, wondering what the Care Bears would consider "caring", acts out himself ordering a pizza with a friend, and when asked what toppings he'd like, he answers, "I don't care," drawing the attention of the Care Bears.
- Epic Fail: The Critic always points out whenever Braveheart makes a spectacular failure out of trying to be heroic.
- Fauxtivational Poster: The Critic is creeped out by Mr. Cherrywood's smile and voice, claiming it's the kind of face that says, "I touched half of these children and I'm okay with that." That still image and text is displayed as a motivational poster.
- Now, Buy the Merchandise: The Critic acts out a commercial for Cozy Heart Penguin during said character's introduction.
- Obligatory Joke: When Braveheart Lion introduces himself, the footage cuts to a clip from Braveheart. The Critic then says, "I know, I know... but how can I not put that in?"
- Padding: The Critic points out a brief bit where a bee lands on Friend Bear's nose, and Kim immediately and easily resolves it by luring it away with a flower.Critic: What? Was the movie like 20 seconds too short, so you had to add a bee scene? The song's pointless enough already, it doesn't need any more padding.
- Shout-Out:
- The scene where the book's spirit seduces Nicholas cuts to a clip from Army of Darkness, with Ash saying the Necromonicon wasn't meant for the world of the living.
- The Critic compares Swift Heart Rabbit to Speedy Gonzales, dubbing audio from his cartoons during her first appearance and calling her "Speedy Gon-hoppis".
- The scene where Secret Bear and Friend Bear do a Care-Bear Stare by themselves cuts to the Ghostbusters (1984) using their Proton-Packs.
- The Critic compares the possessed kid villain to the Emperor from Star Wars and Judge Doom from Who Framed Roger Rabbit.
- Take That!:
- The Critic takes two shots against The Twilight Saga. First he says of Nicholas's book, "I haven't seen a book so in touch with evil since Twilight." Later, when Nicholas holds his cape up to his face, the Critic imitates him and says in a Romanian accent, "I have officially become a vampire. Not one of those sparkly ones, though, they totally suck ass."
- When Nicholas infects his audience with a Hate Plague, the Critic comments, "Oh, no! He turned them into YouTube commenters!"
- When Care-a-Lot's caring meter start dropping due to Nicholas's actions, the Critic exclaims, "We're reaching Jersey levels! Jersey levels!"
- Violence is the Only Option: The Critic's impression of the Care-Bear Stare, when it destroys a monster:Critic: Pfft! Well, fuck caring. The answer to this problem was violence — wonderful, caring violence.
"Look! I see a bee on Friend Bear's nose!"
