Recap / The John Dredge Nothing To Do With Anything Show

Nah den: This page attempts to give short summaries to all of John Dredge's podcasts, especially The John Dredge Nothing To Do With Anything Show, but also its predecessors.

---

John's earlier work:

… is archived on the 404 Funny podcast.

John's earlier work (non-Nothing To Do With Anything continuity)

This contains bits and pieces which are not directly related to the Nothing To Do With Anything Show, but for completeness are listed here anyway.

Things lectures

Six episodes with John lecturing nonsense about a selected topic in his own inimitable style. Often includes a quiz (or the answers to last week's quiz).

• Lecture 1: Cubes
• Lecture 2: Tea
• Lecture 3: Classical Music
• Lecture 4: The Environment
• Lecture 5: The Colour Green
• Lecture 6: The Sea

A Cubic Life

John journeys to Brighton, together with Liam J. Stratton and Miles Eady:

• Introduction of John and his co-star, Grunnock Shadesly
• The story starts in an Edgware Road flat
• Grunnock's new hamster
• Cubology vs. Parallelogram Management
• Going to Brighton on the train to visit a friend
• Ticket inspector
• Talking about various things:
  • Something to eat
  • The train's itinerary
  • Reminiscing about the day trip to Chepstow
  • Reading material
• Grunnock alights at Chipping Junction
• Grunnock at the local chip shop
• John meets the Demon Administration Assistant from the Admin Dimension
• Visiting Admin Land, Grunnock reappears
• Back on the train, Credits

Babble Time

A stream of concsiousness-style weird talk programme about all sorts of topics together with James Shakeshaft.

Film News News

• Episode 1: The Table Mat by Quentin Senior-Junior
• Episode 2: The Return Of The Man Who Had Left
• Episode 3: The Piece of Cheese Incident by Terry Lurgons (sponsored by Bernard's Pickles)
• Episode 4: My Mother Is A Pine Cone by Leonard J. Cloth

The John Dredge Didn't Quite Make it in Time for Christmas Show

An interview with a man who claims being able to levitate, followed by another Babble Time-style talk segment.

The Professor Dredge Interviews

John as the Head of Examining Interesting Things at Plinkton University gets interviewed on the phone by Danny Greenstone. Lionel has already gone home, and Keith has done something he shouldn't have done with a stick.

John's earlier work (related to the Nothing To Do With Anything Show)

This is John's early work as well, but this time containing the episodes which are practically the predecessors of The John Dredge Nothing To Do With Anything Show, both stylistically, but also because many of The Nothing To Do With Anything Show's regular characters are appearing here for the first time. The episodes are archived on the 404 Funny podcast as well.

John Dredge's Odd Show

A 15-minute one-off production, and the first programme resembling the Nothing To Do With Anything Show.

• Introduction
• Adventures of Odd Man, Part 1: The Evil Donbins has kidnapped the Queen (Batman & Robin parody)
• Ned & Fred Yerkatron, stunt artists:
  • Custard juggling
  • Incredible stunt
  • Singing the national anthem underwater
  • Dropping a piano on the head
  • Next week's stunts
• Name That Thing game show ("Polymorphic!"): Recognising a well-known song
• Teach your chicken to play the banjo:
  • Testimonial
  • The Blue Danube
  • Next week: Teaching albatrosses to play the euphonium
• Learning to go boing ad (reused in NTDWAS S02E04)
• Lionel Grins interview ("I left my sandwiches on the table in the kitchen" song)
• Adventures of Odd Man, Part 2: Conquering the Evil Donbins and rescuing the Queen
• Credits

The Really Short Show

A series of very short programmes (with one exception), with David Lynch making regular appearances. Episodes 1 to 23 are currently missing in action.

The Really Long Really Short Show

Possibly a Best Of of the earlier, now missing episodes?

• The Really Short Show is far too short
• Later on the show
• Discussing tea trays with Haydon Clipboards
• Hearing something unusual quiz (Incorrect!)
• Overcoat review with Bernie Fortitude
• Inventor Dr. Banshee Heppeltyhme
• A short history of foghorns
• The lament of the chip pan
• A word from our sponsor
• Interview Corner: Eric Grit-t-t-t-t-t
• The Sound of Silage
• Pilgrims, with Barry Chips
• Table Mat of the Week
• Cucumber News: cucumbers have gone up three pence
• Phone In Corner: Leonard (actually Malcom) phones
• The Really Short Show is too long
• The end

Episode 24

• The current time
• Listeners' Letters Time:
  • Shrinking House
  • Seeing yourself in the mirror
• The Weather with David Lynch: (ten hour film about a talking lamp)
• John Dredge Action Figure and The End

Episode 25

• Listeners' Letters Time, because Lionel has already gone home:
  • New card game: Holdalls
• The Weather with David Lynch: (film about a talking bell)
• Credits

Episode 26

• Listeners' calls:
  • The Prisoner
  • Leonard Nimoy has trouble with the radiators on the Enterprise
• Maths Corner
• The Really Short Show fan club
• Fact Of The Week: Horses
• Credits

Episode 27

• John's week (John Noakes, Facebic)
• The Weather with David Lynch: (David has mislaid his house, backwards Yellow Eagles)
• End of the series

The John Dredge Not on TV Show

A bit of an odd one out, as this series of programmes contains almost none of the audiophonic weirdness and sound effects which are usually a characteristic of the Nothing To Dow With Anything Show. However to compensate, we get one of the first appearances of K-Tel.

Episode 1

• Later on in the show
• Listeners' Letters:
  • Runcorn Braintree: What happened to a penguin from a 30-year-old documentary?
  • Chips Norton: Where do tea trays come from?
• Interview with a tea tray manufacturer
• Lookback over the last seven days:
  • Sideways going lift
  • Lone Ranger
  • new cagoule
  • pita bread diet
• Answers to last week's quiz
• The John Dredge Not on TV fan club
• Next Tuesday's News:
  • Barrage Balloon frenzy
  • Leonard Cohen talking about tea trays
• End of the show and next week

Episode 2

• Later on in the show
• Obituary Corner: Roger Compostheap, fence builder and author
• E-mails about chaffinches
• Quiz Time
• Next Tuesday's News:
  • Annual Combine Harvester Festival
  • Monthly meeting of the British Great Big society
  • Cutlery distribution to the clergy in Dartford
• Interview Time: Barry Haig, inventor of the chip shop
• What's On TV Tonight?
  • 6.00 pm The Allotment
  • 7.30 pm The London Philharmonic plays Conkers
  • 8.00 pm The Best of Top Gear
  • 8.01 pm The Policemen
  • 9.30 pm Dragon's Den
• End of the show and next week

Episode 3

• Responses to last week's show
• A message from our sponsor, K-Tel (table turner)
• Listeners' e-mails
• Answers to last week's quiz
• This week's quiz
• Next Tuesday's News:
  • The Royal Tarmac Museum opens
  • Terry Keygrip attempts a skittles world record
• Special guest: Gannet thief Brian Thimblesaway
• Two further listeners' letters
• Another special guest: Professional banjo repairer Kenton Allen
• News of the Not On Television fan club
• End of the show

Episode 4

• Tonight on the show
• Rotato Stairs ad
• Mystery Artifact competition
• John's uncle's lamp post (brought to the studio by the Coldstream Guards)
• Answers to last week's quiz (Grunnock Shadesly wins)
• This week's quiz (sideboards)
• Listener of the week (James Ligg, cagoule supervisor)
• Chipmunk Vision
• Next Tuesday's News:
  • Annual Mystify A Shoe Shop Manager For Lent championships
  • Camel library opens
• The end of the show

Episode 5

• This week's show
• Mystery Thudding Noise competition
• John's uncle's washing machine (transported to the studio by the Coldstream Guards)
• Answers to last week's quiz (armchairs)
• This week's quiz (tea trays)
• Listener of the week (Bernie Kugelschreibers, wellington boots expert)
• Some Of Your Letters
• Next Tuesday's News:
  • Annual Fish Awards
  • National Chip Shop Balancing competition
• The end of the show

Episode 6

• Raising the curtain
• Reminiscing
• On the programme tonight
• Mystery Voice competition
• John's father's hat stand
• Letters Time
• Answers to last week's quiz (lamp posts)
• Next Tuesday's News:
  • The National Replace Everything With A Wok society will be replaced
  • Exhibition of British Leonard Nimoy impersonators
• Special guest: Sir Ralph Man-Who-Invented-The-Lamp-Post
• Special guest: Singer-songwriter Jim Jimson
• The end of the show

Episode 7

• Tonight on the programme
• Dredge's Diary
• John's uncle's ironing board
• This week's quiz (piccolos)
• Listener of the week: Lionel Hat-Made-Out-Of-A-Tea-Tray, penguin consultant
• Letters Time:
  • 40-feet tall listener
  • Tim Hetherington
  • Missing garden
• Join the Not On Television Show fan club
• The end of the show

The Daily Dredge

Both sound effects and David Lynch return. Also appearing for the first time is Robert Smith of the Cure, plus an episode of "The Human League in Outer Space" with Phil Oakey. There's also an early version of Basil the Cylinder: Leonard the Cube and Basil the Hexagon.

Series 1, Monday

• Welcome to the show
• Endorsement by Prince Charles
• Phone calls:
  • Robert Smith of The Cure can't find his band
  • Kate Bush is looking for temporary work
  • The Prisoner (I am not a number!)
• Some music
• Special guest: Professor Leonard Grit (trestle table that can turn into a barnyard door)
• The Weather with David Lynch: (47 new films this morning)
• The end of the show

Series 1, Tuesday

• Theme Tune (with a dog)
• Today on the show
• Discussing trees
• Special guest: Robert Smith of The Cure
• New game show: Fix This, Robert Smith
• The end of the show

Series 1, Wednesday

• Theme Tune explosions
• Discussing molten lava
• Phone calls:
  • Thog, leader of the Prunes from Omicron 3, looking for the way to Earth
  • Mark E. Smith of The Fall needs a hammock
• Professor Leonard Grit's new invention (turbo-charged biscuit tin)
• The end of the show (and an alien invasion)

Series 1, Thursday

• Theme Tune (played sideways)
• This week's show comes from Leighton Buzzard (lamp posts)
• The answer to last week's quiz
• Letters Time:
  • Book character wants to get payed
• The end of the show

Series 1, Friday

• Theme Tune
• Phone calls:
  • Robert Smith of The Cure is missing an oak tree from his back garden
  • Mark E. Smith of The Fall wants to thank John for playing his records
• The Weather with David Lynch: partly dry
• The end of the show

Series 2, Monday

• A brand new, green inflatable series
• Theme Tune (a new one)
• Nothing
• Daily Dredge merchandise:
  • Combine harvester
  • Green inflatable cube
• Record Of The Week: Dan Figtree & The Washing Machines - Rock Around The Twig^note actually the Dutch version of Rock Around The Clock by De Spelbrekers
• Interview Time: Dr. Brackton Cylindrical, herb specialist
• The end of the show

Series 2, Tuesday

• Mules
• Competition Time: Wigwams in a container
• Phone calls:
  • Hamish McScottishStereotype - identifying an object competition
• Music
• Thought For The Day, with the Reverend Stockton Maim: Old piece of cheese
• The Weather with David Lynch: Mules in the lake
• Mule being fired out of a giant catapult
• The end of the show

Series 2, Wednesday

• Good eveninge
• Theme Tune (with Ronald Parks)
• Phone calls:
  • James Oh-Dear has a holdall problem
  • Charlie Chester wants to swap lamp posts
• Competition Time: The capital of Frinton
• The Adventures of Leonard the Cube: The Lost Woolworths of Atlantis
• What To Do Today?
• The end of the show

Series 2, Thursday

• Hello
• Listener's letter: 400-feet tall wife
• The Human League in Outer Space: Saving All The Synthesisers In The World
• Later on in the show
• The Daily Dredge fan club
• Interview Time: Dr. Brackton Cylindrical, herb specialist (herb contraption)
• The end of the show (John is missing)

Series 2, Friday

• Theme Tune (off you go, Ronald)
• Interview Time: Jacksley Davingside, legendary rock musician
• The Exploding Cauldrons, Episode 497 (Archers theme tune)
• The end of the show

The John Dredge Programme Show

Almost the pilot series for the Nothing To Do With Anything Show, with David Lynch present again. Also appearing are What's on in Leighton Buzzard, e-mail corner and Hercu Lint.

Episode 1

• A brand new, green inflatable series (the theme tune explodes)
• Record Of The Week: The Great Missenden Aquatic Mediocrity Band
• What's on in Leighton Buzzard:
  • Annual Twig Examining Conference
• Answers to last week's quiz
• The Weather with David Lynch: (donkey throwing)
• E-Mail Corner: Sound effect of a dog falling into a lake
• Listener of the week: Mac Tuck, mollusc impersonator
• Hercu Lint: Singing a song
• The end of the show

Episode 2

• Good aftermorninge
• Record Of The Week: William Wordsworth & The Washing Machines
• What's on in Leighton Buzzard:
  • A Day In The Life Of A Biscuits Tin
• The Weather with David Lynch: (lawnmower throwing, pogo stick)
• Answers to last week's quiz
• E-Mail Corner:
  • Aunt turned into an archbishop
  • Where does balsawood originate from?
• Listener of the week: Barry Quatt, inventor of the Lurgon
• Hercu Lint: Fixtures
• The end of the show

Episode 3

• Record Of The Week: Bang On A Biscuit Tin All Day by Terry Bukel & The Alarm Clock Supervisory Board
• What's on in Leighton Buzzard (for the first time with theme tune):
  • Sheep horse on display in Leighton Buzzard town hall
• Answer to last week's quiz
• The Weather with David Lynch: Washing machine weather (Burgon Dispenser throwing)
• Listeners' e-mails:
  • Over 420 arctic rolls in my fridge
• The Programme Show Viewfinder: Surreal landscape
• Listener of the week: Mr. Ethel Pembrokeshire, first person to go to the moon on a Sinclair C5 (going to Saturn on a motorised glockenspiel)
• The end of the show

Episode 4

• Theme Tune
• Three mile high replicas of John's birth certificate
• Record Of The Week: Bexhill Backwards Orchestra
• What's on in Leighton Buzzard:
  • Low flying brass bands on display in Leighton Buzzard town hall
• Answer to last week's quiz
• The Weather with Charlie Chester
• The Weather with David Lynch
• Hercu Lint: Hercu Lint fan club
• Listeners' e-mails:
  • K-Tel problem solver
  • How many boxes are there in the world?
• "Boxes" song
• The end of the show

The Nothing to Do with Xmas Show

Practically the pilot episode for the Nothing To Do With Anything Show.

• John Dredge Programme Show medley
• Introduction
• E-Mail Corner: Made-up e-mail
• What's on in Leighton Buzzard:
  • Brass band marathon in aid of fish
• Hercu Lint: Fog-o-phone (with Ken Livingston)
• The Serious Programme
• The Adventures of Basil the Cylinder, Episode 1: Taking the magic holdall to the King of Frintonia
• LWT sitcom: Oh no, it's Peter Gabriel!
• Christmas greetings from [Bill Spect??^note spelling unclear]
• Listeners' calls:
  • Lettuce hoist and hitting yourself over the head with a mallet (Charlie Chester)
  • I told you not to phone me at work
• Ken Livingston at the door
• Ken-Go ad, from the makers of Bye Bye Boris
• K-Tel DIY comedian kit
• Barrel of Entertainment: Interview with the Righteous Brothers
  • Unchained Melody
  • Next week: the Everly Brothers
• At Home with the Human League, Episode 1: In Dire Straits
• Trip Advisor: The Gables, Bexhill
• The Open University: Cutlery
• Cutlery Song
• The Open University signature tune breaks down
• Bob Will Fix It, with Robert Smith out of The Cure
• The Weather with David Lynch: David Lynch's new pop album
• Credits
• The Terry and June Christmas Show: New House

The John Dredge Nothing To Do With Anything Show

The John Dredge Nothing To Do With Anything Show itself, available from the British Comedy Guide.

Series 1

Episode 1

• Later on tonight on Non-BBC1:
  • Music to explode by
  • My mother the car
  • That's Concrete with Ken Livingston
• Later in the show
• The World of Twig Harper: The script has been stolen
• Bowler Hat Weekly
• Dimitri Shostakovich visits
• Record Of The Week: Boris & The Johnsons
• The Nothing To Do With Anything Roadshow: Peterborough
  • Interview with a local
  • A man in a postbox
  • Riot in the library
• Next on: Corner
• Odd little man and Dalek
• The Sea in the studio
• Credits

Episode 2

• Hercu Lint introduces the show
• Interview with Herman Goatsheep, Burgon Dispensing plant owner
• Dear Dredge: Don Durbridge has become slightly odd (Biscuits!)
• Whose Sideboard Is This? (on the panel: Dermot O'Leary x 3, special guest star: Boris Johnson)
• K-Tel matches ad
• The Case Of The Thing That Happened: The Artichokes Stealing Gang of New Malden
• Interview with the cast
• Sir Leonard Carp in "Dad's Always On Television" (Dad's Army parody)
• Credits

Episode 3

• Neither London, nor Paris nor Shanghai are available
• Farmer Collins comes crashing through the studio wall on his tractor and has a new song (farming song)
• In The Library gets thrown out of the library and finally arrested for burglary while trying to interview Nigel Rushby
• Care And Training Of Your Goldfish: Don't put it in a truck full of dynamite and push it down a hill
• Dear Dredge: How is the programme made?
• Live from Lower Plinkton
• Sing Something Simple on Radio 2
• Inventor's Corner: Nigel Twinnock has invented an aria singing contraption
• Credits

Episode 4

• A Dalek driving a combine harvester
• This week's guest stars: G. Reg Haiste and Anna Worthington
• A new theme song
• Free gift for listeners: a hat stand
• K-Tel sponsoring the show (hatometer, giant catapult, pogo stick)
• House in the middle of the M1
• Greg complains about not being included in the sketch
• Gasman
• John plays Greg
• Old Bits Of Bark: Bach
• Spot The Spatula:
  • Bernard Helicopters, shoe shop owner
  • Marvin Helicopters, his brother
  • The prize: 400 cows
• Travelling salesman job interview
• Gasman again
• Credits (and Boris Johnson tap dancing with a horse)

Episode 5

• Introduction - Later on in the show:
  • Gannets interview
  • The M1 in action
  • Molten Lava Weekly
  • Next door neighbours question time
  • 80 foot high statue of a goat
• Introducing Anna Emerson
• Anna's new film (coat shop assistant)
• Reg Chimpolomew, stamp collector
• The Continuing Adventures of Basil the Cylinder, Episode 2: Going to the Burgon Dispenser Shop
• K-Tel Incredible Thing ad
• Twigs Unlimited ad
• Answers to last week's quiz
• Dear Dredge:
  • Brian Kugelschreibers has not received his make-it-yourself badge
  • Mrs Brian Overdraft has a very loud voice
  • An e-mail from the Sea
  • A woman from Basingstoke asks about her divorce
• Trainee sound engineer in the studio
• In Search of Stravinsky
• Credits
• Musical chaos

Episode 6

• Next on in the John Peel Show (crazy band names)
• Welcome again, gannets
• The cast of Les Miserables is in the studio
• Sir Leonard Carp (stage adaptation of the Yellow Pages)
• Special guest: Rex Twix, with listeners' calls
• Gardening Magazine ad
• The Difficults (Madonna and Morrissey, with the Archers theme tune)
• The Aliens That Came From A Completely Different Planet To Earth, Episode 1: The Beginning Of The Start Of The Things That Were To Come Later
• Credits

Series 2

Episode 1

• Recognising Radio Four and Three
• The Head of Podcasts phones
• A donkey landing a helicopter
• Greg Haiste makes another guest appearance (teaching potatoes to sing)
• K-Tel Giant Catapult ad
• Never Kill To Die trailer (Miss Marple as 007)
• Bowler Hat Weekly (stop throwing hats at me)
• The Continuing Adventures of Basil the Cylinder, Episode 3: Nigel the Parallelogram runs off
• Credits

Episode 2

• Later on Frinton FM:
  • Doggy Doo, What Kind Of Dog Are You? (animated version)
  • Crow's Nest with Bob Crow
  • West Sideboard Story
• The Theme Tune gets out of control
• The Head of Podcasts phones
• Special guest once again: Rex Twix, with listeners' calls: washing machine problems
• The new Nothing To Do With Anything Show Holdall ad
• Weird Store ad (only £99.99)
• Trip Advisor: The Three Pillars Hotel, Bournemouth
• Where Are We Meant To Be Now: Underwhelming, Ho-Hum-Shire
  • Interview with the village Dalek
• Credits

Episode 3

• Radio Four (chasing Radio Four on a Radio Two, Radio Four in a box)
• Anna gets the introduction completely wrong
• The theme tune explodes
• Once again, Farmer Collins comes crashing through the studio wall and has another new song (sheep dogs song)
• Farmer Collins taking phone calls
• Horses song
• K-Tel casting directory ad
• We Buy Any Cow (Cow rap)
• Dear Dredge: Revisiting Don Durbridge
• Terry and June: The Royal Philharmonic Orchestra has moved in next door
• The Head of Podcasts phones
• Sixty Second Challenge: Find something good to say about Heart FM
• Credits

Episode 4

• The Last Of The Pips
• It's A Pidgeon quiz show
• This week, the Nothing To Do With Anything Roadshow visits New Malden
• This week's studio guest: Pob Spleen, impressionist, doing impressions of:
  • Boris Johnson
  • A twin axle lorry
  • John Dredge
  • A motorboat being piloted by the Royal Philharmonic Orchestra
• The Head of Podcasts phones
• Dear Dredge:
  • A complaint about the Head of Podcasts
  • Who is playing the John Dredge character?
  • Time for a commercial break?
• Learning to go boing ad
• Shoe Shop News from Leighton Buzzard with Bernard and Marvin Helicopters
• The Radio Four Appeal: Appeal for people who go boing
• Credits
• Gasman

Episode 5

• Special celebrity edition of It's A Catapult (with Boris Johnson)
• Special guest: Greg Haiste
• Shop sketch with Greg
• Later on in the show
• Guestometer
• Asking the ordinary man in the street which part of the show comes next
• What's on in Leighton Buzzard: Answers to last week's quiz
• Wrongco Rectifier ad
• It's Part Two
• Professor Nigel Twinnock interview
• The programme gets turned into Desert Island Discs
• Credits

Episode 6

• A non-scheduled appearance of Greg Haiste
• The Aliens That Came From A Completely Different Planet To Earth, Episode 2: The Things That Were To Come Later Start Happening Sooner Than Expected
• Frustato board game ad
• Derek Dalek wants to borrow a cup of sugar
• Dear Dredge:
  • Meaning of deactivatatronalisation
  • What's the weather going to be like?
• The Weather with David Lynch: (A rock'n'roll record by a tree)
• The latest hit from Madonna
• Credits

The John Dredge Nothing To Do With Comedy Chords Show

A special one-off edition of the Really Short Show:

• Arguing with the announcer (Weirdo!)
• A job for our crack squad of Really Short Show marksmen
• Websiteometer
• Rare recordings of Frank Sinatra
  • … as a baby
  • … performing a duet with the Beatles
  • … doing some DIY
• Derek Dalek as the cleaning lady
  • John needs to see a Doctor for his stomach
• Dear Dredge:
  • Horse in the studio
  • Credits
  • Answerometer

Series 3

Episode 1

• Extended edition of The Archers
• The theme tune explodes
• John Peel's theme tune explodes
• Spare theme tune
• Rare recordings of Frank Sinatra
  • … running for a bus
  • … on a walking tour of Scotland
  • … phoning an elephant
• Shoe Shop News from Leighton Buzzard with Bernard and Marvin Helicopters (people hiding in postboxes)
• The Weather with David Lynch: (storing gold bars in the kitchen)
• Barry Tigg's Airline Pilot Quiz Game Show
• The Nothing To Do With Anything Roadshow reports from Frinton
• The Continuing Adventures of Basil the Cylinder, Episode 4: Harold The Hexagon Is In Trouble (with Phil Oakey)
• The Radio Four Appeal: Gladys (annoying neighbour)
• Credits
• Somebody's been locked in the programme

Episode 2

• Programmes later tonight on Thames (hearing the first gunshots in spring, Tales of the Unexpected)
• Once again, Farmer Collins comes crashing through the studio wall and has another new agricultural song (getting the animals confused song)
• Farmer Collins taking a phone call (jet-propelled chickens)
• Terry and June: Exploding slippers and a visit from the Vicar
• Annual general meeting of the National Association of Disc Jockeys:
  • time checks
  • repeating of records
• Castrol GCX for chickens ad
• It's Part Two
• The story so far
• The Weather with David Lynch (nailing things to other things)
• Traffic report song
• Hans Keller interviews Fractious Nit (Why has it all got to be so terribly loud? and a lemon meringue pie)
• Saying goodbye (credits)
• Henry the Hysterical Horse saying goodbye as well
• [??^note can't catch the word] fruit of the Third Reich, Episode 1: Himmler's Nectarine

Episode 3

• Scooby-Don't
• This week's guest: Greg Haiste
• Greg Haiste's shop sketch
• Trip Advisor: The Cliff Hotel, Yarmouth
• Sixty Second Challenge: Naming everyone you've ever met
• Helicopters brothers shoe shop ad (£29.99)
• It's Part Two
• Answer to last week's quiz
• K-Tel Piano detuner (and a Just A Minute reference)
• Bowler Hat Weekly (Anti-Bowler Hat League)
• Greg Haiste reads the credits (rather badly)
• The Weather with David Lynch (sleet - a rubbish form of snow, and smiting Greg)

Episode 4

• The Archers Boogie On Down At The Disco
• The Daily Service from Billy Smart's Circus, Folkestone
• Later on tonight: Very rare recordings of Frank Sinatra
  • … on a pogo stick
  • … eating his lunch
  • … fighting a gorilla
• (German) Dear Dredge: How is the man who is slightly odd getting on?
• Interviewing Don Durbridge (Ainsley the duck has gone; shouting Biscuits! from a car)
• The Aliens That Came From A Completely Different Planet To Earth, Episode 3: All The Firepower The Army Possesses
• What's On In Leighton Buzzard:
  • Cars on show in the Leighton Buzzard multi-storey car park
  • The Garglers playing at the Leighton Buzzard Village Hall & Laundromat
  • Sponsored Yell by the Massed Bands of the Royal Leighton Buzzard Artillery
• What's off in Leighton Buzzard:
  • Chips forks through the ages
  • The Leighton Buzzard piano hurling championships
• buyabuilding.com ad (British Museum as a gift, with Bert and Not-Bert)
• From Norwich: the answers to last week's quiz
• Where Are We Meant To Be Now: Boredom-on-Crouch
  • Talking to Aileen Jacobs
  • The Human League appears
• The World of Twig Harper: The new Twig Harper fan club
• Weekend World of Norris
• Credits

Episode 5

• The Lift ad
• Are You Being Dragged Into The Circles Of Hell trailer (Lift down Hell's Circles song)
• Recorded studio audience
• Later on tonight: Very rare recordings of Frank Sinatra
  • … and his punk single
  • … driving his motorbike into a greenhouse full of brass bands
  • … temping as a shepherd on an u-boat
• This week's guests: Foghorn enthusiast Anna Emerson, Reg Chimpolomew
• Dear Dredge (backwards theme):
  • Greg Haiste feeling Greg Haiste is somewhat underused
  • Liking the bit about the Burgon Dispenser becoming dislodged
  • Bernard Tractionengine asks about the answers to last week's quiz
• The answer to last week's quiz
• Fact Of The Week: Limpids are the most tedious of all sea creatures
• Complaint by the Limpid Protection League
• Herman Goatsheep calls: pronunciation of his name, Burgon Dispensing plant, and answer to last week's quiz
• Ben Ken-Obi wants to swap his light saber
• The Case Of The Thing That Happened, by Episode 2 productions: Tracking down the Artichokes Stealing Gang of New Malden in Tunbridge Wells
• Credits
• The Limpid Protection League calls again

Episode 6

• Desert Island Ducks
• Coming up:
  • Boris Johnson and his Dancing Chickens
  • Ken Livingston driving a lorry full of dynamite down a hill
  • The Massed Bands of the Royal Highland Artillery vs. The Choir of St. Albans Cathedral
• The Weather with David Lynch (David's latest recording and an outbreak of hoovers)
• Dear Dredge:
  • My television doesn't seem to be working (John Logie Baird appearance)
  • Writing in morse code
• Ade In Britain: Cornwall and Cornish pasties (Adrian gets angry and destroys a Cornish pasties stand)
• Sir Leonard Carp interview
• The Serious Programme
• The Human League Of Justice: Numan Is Back (and Susan quits)
• The Anti-Human League League calls
• Bob's Full House with Robert Smith of The Cure, as guests Steven Patrick Morrissey, Derek Dalek and the Antichrist
• Credits
• Visiting Britain: Sizewell in Suffolk
  • Gasman saves the day (or does he?)

Series 4

Episode 1

• The Seriously Weird Programme (with Bernard Levin and Boris Johnson)
• Introducing the new series (various singers singing "Hello")
• Dear Dredge music (letters and e-mails will be read next week)
• The producer intervenes
• Dear Dredge: Mr. Basil Rather-Appropriate wants a job on the programme
• Sound effects on Today in Parliament
• Basil comes to the studio and gets to test the new giant catapult
• Gasman and Robert: Defeating the infamous Broker
• New Sunstroke Shampoo ad
• A season of award-losing movies on Thames
• The Aliens That Came From A Completely Different Planet To Earth, Episode 4: Get On With It, You Collective Waste Of Atoms
• Revisiting Don Durbridge (Carpets!)
• Terry and June: Moving to Purley and getting rid of the For Sale sign
• Old Bits Of Bark with Doctor Leonard Sapling
• The Weather with David Lynch: (David Lynch has invented Licorice Allsorts and an outbreak of pianos)
• The end of the show

Episode 2

• This is Radio 4.2 (with a donkey phoning in)
• Farmer Collins comes crashing through the studio wall yet another time (farm yard impressions, Farmer Collins Orchestra, goat playing golf)
• Dear Dredge: Advice for job interview
• Top 3 job interview tips
• Fault in the transmission
• Programme highlights from last week's Radio Times
• Trying to read from Tolstoy
• Trip Advisor: The Three Pillars, Worcestershire
• K-Tel BuffaLocator ad
• Get Parker trailer
• Robert de Niro cameo
• Where Are We Meant To Be Now: With Greg Haiste in Nah-Den-on-Sea
• The Human League Of Justice: The Search For Susan
• The Weather with David Lynch: (David is skint again and wants to present children's shows)
• Multicoloured Swap Shop, with David Lynch
• Another technical fault (and the credits)

Episode 3

• Unknown recordings:
  • Barry Manilow performing for an audience of hyenas
  • Gladys Knight & The Pips being frightened by an owl
  • Ella Fitzgerald sawing her way through the Eiffel Tower
• Brain Teaser: burning fuses
• The Continuing Adventures of Basil the Cylinder, Episode 5: The Genie of the Magic Truncheon
• Greg Haiste visits
• What's on in Leighton Buzzard (donkey edition):
  • Leighton Buzzard Misanthropy Club anti-social evening
  • Tea dance and cage fighting night of the Senior Citizens Club
  • Talk on "Things that nobody is remotely interested in"
  • 2015 Leighton Buzzard Weird Sports Championships
• 2014 Leighton Buzzard Cagoule Exploding final
• Cadbury C4 plastic explosive ad
• Learn to play the xylophone ad
• Christopher Walken cameo
• Gasman (boiler trouble)
• Where Are We Meant To Be Now: Ashton-under-[sound effect]
  • Town crier Derek Dolak
  • David Lynch
• John Peel plays Spot The Spatula (more crazy band names)

Episode 4

• The Radio Three Roadshow with Hans Keller (Classical music Bits & Pieces competition)
• Later on in the show (Corner)
• Farmer Collins crashing through the studio wall again, with another new song (autobiographical song)
• Terry and June: Björk has moved in next door
• Competition for a link to the break
• Twiddly Tea Bags ad
• Professor Brian Cox cameo
• John arguing with his producer
• Dear Dredge: Timothy Tractionengine
• Top 3 dating tips
• Space 1999: Trouble At Waste Disposal Area No. 1
• Competition for a script for the closing credits

Episode 5

• "Mastermind" with Derek Dalek
• A recently discovered recording of Frank Sinatra phoning his mother
• Test your Brian
• Greg Haiste demands his contractual 40 seconds per episode
• What's on in Leighton Buzzard (with a dyslexic Greg Haiste)
  • The Leighton Buzzard Rambling Group
  • Car boot sale
  • Crouching for beginners workshop
  • A private party
  • Meeting of the Leighton Buzzard Indecisive Society
  • Jumble sale in Basildon
  • The Bootleg Bootleg Beatles
• Kojak in Birmingham
• Dear Dredge:
  • A dodgy crowd and turning to petty crime
  • Robert Smith of Crawley wants to be John
  • Advice on spending lunch breaks
• Top 3 tips on how to spend your lunch break more productively
• Look-in magazine ad
• Farmer Collins is at the door (and a new children's song: Farmer Collins had a farm)
• The Case Of The Thing That Happened, Episode 3: Appointment With Something (arresting the Artichokes Stealing Gang's headquarters)
• Closing credits in French

Episode 6

• Somebody mistaking a Radio 4 continuity suite for a public library
• You and Yours today broadcasting from Junction 22 of the M1
• A recording of John's birth certificate
• A short history of the show's theme tunes
• A standby emergency edition of Dear Dredge:
  • Owning a horse box without a horse
  • Fear of apples
  • Missing rostrum camera
  • How is the medical treatment for Don Durbridge progressing?
• Revisiting Don Durbridge (it turn's out he actually wasn't slightly odd at all)
• Terry and June: The front door's been stolen and Bananarama offer to install a new one
• John tries to prevent David Lynch's appearance by locking the door, but without success
• The Weather with David Lynch: (new poem: The Lamppost)
• The new K-Tel Burgon Dispenser
• Alan Rickman cameo as Snape
• Old Bits Of Bark with Doctor Leonard Sapling
• Farmer Collins comes crashing through the studio wall with a new tractor and another new song (Farmboy Slim - Me Brand New Tractor - based on Rockafeller Skank by Fatboy Slim)
• Where Are We Meant To Be Now: The least known village in England (with Greg Haiste and a flock of gannets)
• Anna Emerson has started a second career in journalism and can now review her own performances
• What's on in Leighton Buzzard:
  • Recruitment drive of the Leighton Buzzard Ukulele and Helicopter Club
  • A starting and stopping evening by the Leighton Buzzard Starting and Stopping Societey
  • The Frank Sinatra Gargling Orchestra's annual concert in aid of second-homeless politicians
• It'll Be Alright Until Griff Rhys Jones Takes Over And Then It'll Be Terrible (Nothing To Do With Anything Show outtakes and credits)
• A Book So Much Before Bedtime It Was Hardly Worth Getting Out Of Bed: The Famous Five Go Boing, by Enyd Blighton

Series 5

Episode 1

• John's late (delays on the Onedin Line)
• The Archers: Eamon's back, and 300 tons of silage
• John finally being airlifted in
  • Ad for grain removal services
• Previews of following programmes
  • John Dredge Talks to the Furniture (Wardrobes singing songs from "Oliver")
  • Dredge Daren't (not jumping from the London Eye)
  • Frank Sinatra sawing Big Ben in half (accompanied by a goat)
• Where Are We Meant To Be Now: Slightly Oblong
  • Interview with the Mayor, who doesn't like aardvarks
  • Automatic Scaring Device for Aardvarks (ASDA)
• Herbie Goes to Leighton Buzzard film trailer
• The Strange Game ad
• Annual general meeting of the National Association of Disc Jockeys, sponsored by Castrol
  • Charity appeal for members addicted to jingle collecting
• Welcoming Sir Greg Haiste
  • Discussing his role as "Man hiding in postbox"
• Answers to last series' quiz
  • This week's prizes
• Arnold Schönberg shows up
• Credits
• Sleep better with Radio 2

Episode 2

• Programmes this evening on BBC 1
  • Famous People called Colin
  • Casualty
  • Dermot O'Leary
  • And Then It Was Ten
  • History of 11:11
• Later on in the show
  • Boris Karloff inflates a domestic duck
  • Brian Adams gets trapped in a lift
  • Lang Lang plays Choping in a barrel going over Niagara Falls
  • The history of psychedelic music from Donovan to Ian Paisley
  • Animals in their natural habitats
• Mystery music
• What's on in Leighton Buzzard:
  • Monday: National Anti-Doing Things in Leighton Buzzard Cooperative won't hold a sit-in in Leighton Buzzard
  • Tuesday: Forgetting Ed Sheeran event
  • Wednesday: Annual convention of the Leighton Buzzard Rice Paper Appreciation Society
  • Thursday: Firework display on the Green
  • Friday night will be replaced by Monday morning due to government cutbacks
• Johnco Inflatable car park ad
• Remove stains with a flamethrower ad
• Asking the man in the street
• The New World of Twig Harper
  • Norris calls
  • Pork pies, and more calls by Norris
• Where Have All The Good Times Gone? (Whatever happend to the Lighthouse Family?)
• Credits

Episode 3

• Films later this week:
  • Death in Venice
  • Death on the Nile
  • The Hurt Locker
  • Postcards from the Edge
  • The Shining
• A look through the round window: A harpist
• Today on the show:
  • Arnold Thoooog *Pling*
  • An actress who doesn't need an introduction (or actually does, after all)
  • John Dredge himself
• The Case Of The Thing That Happened: The episode is cancelled and replaced by a test card
• Test Card Special direct from the Oval Cricket Ground
• The Happy Sound of the Nothing To Do With Anything Show
• People Who Do Things: Tim McMac, a stoat comparer from Crawley who likes to build things
  • A scale model of Belgium
  • A Boeing 707 made from two toilet rolls, sticky back plastic and a tin of biscuits
• Johnco background noise simulator ad
  • As used on Human League comeback gigs
  • And even theatres of war
• It's Part Two
  • The Nothing To With Anything Show fan club is accepting new members
• Interview with the head of the Noise Abatement Society
• One more jingle
• Old Bits Of Bark, interrupted by an appearance of David Lynch on horseback
• Sixty Second Challenge: Robert Smith of The Cure has to name everyone who participated in this week's episode

Episode 4

• Live from the NTDWAS's warming up room (boxing match framing device)
• New theme tunes by Merv Plinths
  • Farming Today
  • Top Gear
  • Casualty
• Discussion panel speculating about the NTDWAS's running order
• Rarely Useless Musical Productions: A Flock Of Seagulls revival musical
• Ad for the NTDWAS horse and cart (with Bert and Not-Bert)
  • so fast, it gets pulled over by the police
• Ad for Just-About-Still-Going-Magazine (article about the Beatles)
• The answers to last week's Spot The Car Park quiz
• Where Are We Meant To Be Now (with Hans Keller): Kilmister
  • Hans Keller's duck and tree problems

Interviews with

• Enid Bosket, who lives in the local pond
• Human League
• Gasman

• Credits (boxing match framing device)

Episode 5

• This is Radio Four
  • Radio Four Shipping Forecast
  • A case of suffering from Arias
  • Name That Cow
• The NTDWAS starts with maximum impact
  • Sacking Stan Grutts and his family for messing around with the theme tune
• Dear Dredge:
  • Replace Judge Dredd with a test card
  • Another listener has mislaid everything
  • Boil Your Uncle's Mother in a Bag
  • Boring e-mails about cancelling a holiday
• The Weather with David Lynch (joghurt going off, and a strange week ahead)
• A Bed at Booktime: The Secret Seven, by Enyd Blighton – The Mystery of the Ordinary Car
• Johnco Private Jet Door Opener ad
• The NTDWAS Giant Catapult ad
• Reading your letters (no letters today)
• Trip Advisor: The Annual Trip Advisor Conference weekend in Swanage
• Farmer Collins comes crashing through the studio wall and has another new song
• Name That Cow again
• Credits
• Henry the Hysterical Horse saying goodbye as well

Episode 6

• Explosions past and present
• The Weather with David Lynch (in Technicolor)
• Comedy Science-Fiction Playhouse:
  • Steptoe and Son in Space
  • HAL's Half Hour
• Dear Dredge:
  • How to get out of a well?
  • Derek Dalek is depressed
  • Erich von Stroheim has his head stuck in the park railings again (Johnco Head Extractor ad)
• 40 Romantic Greats reinterpreted by Mark E. Smith
• Weird Store ad
• The Serious Programme (stolen cutlery)
• The Archers: Nothing's happening
• The Daily Service (from inside a locked filing cabinet)
• Bob's Full House (as guests Julia from Beaconsfield, Dave from Bromley, and a submarine)