Varya's patient plans to undergo breast-enlargement surgery; Varya tries to talk her out of it (believing that it's unnecessary), while Lyuba, who already has big breast, disagrees and supports patient's decision. Varya and Lyuba goes into argument which breasts are better: Lyuba thinks that big boobs are great tool of manipulation, whie Varya (who has no boobs to speak of) thinks that small ones are more "natural". Lyuba convinces Varya to put on fake boobs, and see by herself; however, seeing how every single man she encounters can't help but mindlessly stare, only creeps Varya out and reinforces her belief that it's better to have small ones. She tries to use those arguments to talk the patient out of the operation, and even suggests her to use same fake breast to test it, but the patient actually likes free attention, as it was exactly why she wants the surgery in the first place. Seeing how sad Varya is, Lyuba talks with patient herself, subtly bringing up much stronger arguments: the negative side effects, and possible complications; this makes the patient change her mind, as she values her comfort a bit more.
Lobanov must deal with a patient who can't neither speak nor understand Russian. Semyon tries to explain what he wants through illustrations. The patient gets everything wrong at first, but ultimately does understand what's needed... only to trip and just spill materials gathered for analyse. Now Lobanov must stay on a night shift for "doing nothing".
Gleb learns that the policeman whom he previous bribed to avoid harsh fine is in Venereology, and can't help but mock him. He then tricks Kupitman into giving him policeman's analyse results, and fakes them to blackmail him into giving back the money. But he doesn't stop at just getting the money, and decides to milk the situation for all its worth, further trolling the cop. Unfortunately for him, Kupitman finds out about this deception and confronts Gleb together with a policeman, humiliating him. Between preserving his money or his dignity, Gleb picks dignity.
One particularly nervous patient fears the upcoming operation, and searches consultation from a good specialist who would reassure him. Unfortunately, he asks Levin, who only strengthens his fears with ill-thought comments. He almost cancels the operation (which would likely kill him), but Bykov finds out at the last moment and talks him out of if; he then punishes Levin by forcing him to pretend that he's mentally-challenged orderly who can't do anything right.
This episode provides examples of:
- A-Cup Angst: Varya's patient has very small breast, which she believes the reason why her husband keeps being distracted at bigger breasts. She wants to enlarge her breasts, believing that it would solve the problem. Lyuba at first supports that decision, but later, to comfort Varya (who's depressed by the patient doing what she considers a grave mistake), tells her about the possible complications, which convinces the patient that she would rather not take such risks.
- All for Nothing: Lobanov's plot culminates in his patient, just when Lobanov finally explains to him what he needs to do, losing containers with test material, and now he can't provide new "material" until tomorrow. Bykov forces Lobanov to stay on a night shift as punishment, having zero regards for the failure not being his fault.
- All Men Are Perverts: Almost everyone can't help but stare at Varya when she does as Lyuba suggests, and puts on fake boobs. This is exactly the reason why Lyuba thinks that buxom breasts are better: you can easily manipulate the men to do whatever you want. But Varya only gets reinforced in her opinion: her natural ones are better, as they don't attract as much unwanted attention. Later, when Varya's patient does the same, she triggers even stronger reaction.
- Asshole Victim: While Gleb is entirely deserving of his punishment for bullying the cop (instead of just getting his money back and leaving), his victim is still a Dirty Cop, and it's implied that the reason why he's in Venereology in the first place is because he's cheating on his wife.
- Blackmail: Gleb was forced to bribe a corrupt cop before. Now, he has a chance to take his money back, since that same cop is now in Venereology. With Kupitman's help (he lies that it's his "old school friend"), he steals his analyse results, fakes many nasty diseases and threatens to call the guy's wife — unless he pays. But instead of stopping here, he continues tormenting him further, which ultimately leads to his undoing.
- Buxom Beauty Standard: Central theme of Varya's plot is which boobs are better, small or big ones.
- Varya and Lyuba have an argument over it. Lyuba believes that big breasts are better (being the great tool for manipulating the men), and that if you can and want to enlarge your breasts, then why not? Varya thinks that such operations are "unnatural", and you better be happy with what you already have. To convince her otherwise, Lyuba gives her fake (cottonwool-filled) breasts to try and see for herself... which achieves the opposite effect, as everyone's attention creeps Varya out.
- The whole argument about the "best" breast size was started in the first place by Varya's patient, who wants to enlarge her breasts, as she thinks that it would shift her husband's attention from big-breasted girls back to her. Varya's attempts to show her why having too large breasts is bad backfires and makes the patient want even bigger breasts. To make Varya feel better (who was hit hard by this failure), Lyuba decides to talk patient out of the operation by herself, but instead of appealing to All Men Are Perverts (which was taken as an argument in favour of doing the operation), she uses more serious arguments, like possible complications or risks of implants malfunction. This works much better, as the patient decides that risks outweighs the fun.Varya: But... It's just boobs.
Patient: I want boobs. I want boobs!
- D-Cup Distress: When Varya tries to follow Lyuba's advice and use fake breasts, every single man she meets can't help, but stare at her mindlessly, sometimes even dropping things. Now, she is even more convinced in her opinion that small breasts are better: they don't attract as many creeps. She also tries to use that as an argument to talk her patient out of the breast-enlargement surgery, but it backfires: the patient actually likes free male attention, and now wants even bigger ones.
- Dirty Cop: Policeman in Gleb's plot is the same one whom Gleb previously bribed to not pay the harsh fine... and now he's waiting for his analyses in Venereology. Gleb at first blackmails him into paying money back in return for not ratting him out to his wife, but then decides to have fun at his expense, which leads to his undoing when Kupitman finds out and sides with the cop.
- Embarrassment Plot: After Levin's stupidity almost results in the patient refusing operation (which likely would kill him), Bykov forces Levin to impersonate mentally-disabled orderly right in front of said patient. This works enough to persuade the patient to go trough with the operation (no longer trusting Levin and his advices), despite him initially being dreadfully afraid of it.
- Failed Attempt at Drama: Levin tells the patient blatantly false and dangerous "arguments" in favour of not doing the operation, and suggests the other methods, because "Therapy is the queen of sciences". Cut to patient telling that "queen of sciences" to Bykov, accompanied by dramatic music... and Bykov calling him out on bullshit, which cuts the music abruptly.
- False Reassurance: One of the patients asks Bykov whether he can somehow avoid doing surgery, as he's extremely afraid of it. Bykov tells him that he can... can just do nothing, and die in extreme agony.
- Funny Foreigner: Lobanov's patient is Chinese in national clothes (and with stereotypical Chinese food in his ward) who only knows one word in Russian (which he can't even pronounce right) and doesn't understand what Semyon tells to him, behaving like it's some sort of game. All scenes involving him also use Chinese-themed music as his leitmotif. At the end of the episode, he sings in his native language.
- Kick the Dog: Gleb (with Kupitman's help) steals policeman's analyse results and fakes them just for petty revenge. After receiving his money back (so he would not inform the cop's wife), Gleb starts the "treatment", the whole point of which is to humiliate the cop further. However, the cop starts doubting whether the "treatment" is correct, and asks Kupitman, who sides with him and helps to strike back at Gleb.
- Laser-Guided Karma: Once Kupitman finds out about Romanenko's deception, he forces Gleb to wash policeman's penis from "zelyonka
" he put on it earlier. The cop accepts just returning the money, though. Between money and dignity, Gleb picks dignity. - Language Barrier: Lobanov's patient is a Chinese who knows exactly one word in Russian ("good"), which he can't even pronounce correctly. Lobanov somehow must explain to him that he needs to take some tests. Lobanov tries to explain it through crude illustrations and gestures (which works only on second attempt)... only for him to fail anyway for unrelated reason.
- Laxative Prank: Amongst other things Gleb does to humiliate the cops is prescribing him laxatives, disguising them as the treatment for STD that he allegedly has; fortunately, he learned about it when he tried to buy them, instead of after taking them.
- Lethally Stupid: Levin gets asked for consultation by a nervous patient who's afraid of upcoming operation (he has perforated ulcer). Levin starts going into vague warnings about possible risks of cutting the skin (nevermind that patient's condition has up to 25% mortality rate), and that "according to statistics", with the right treatment, operation can be unnecessary... in 3% of cases. The patient sees these "arguments" as valid, as they're justifying his fears, but fortunately he then tries to tell this to Bykov, who sets him straight.
- Male Gaze: Varya argues with Lyuba which breasts are better — big ones, or small ones. Lyuba convinces Varya to walk around the hospital with fake boobs and see how men would react — and indeed, the men can't help but stare. Later Varya's patient does the same, with even stronger effect. But if Varya sees it as an argument against the large boobs (being creeped out by such a reaction), the patient actually likes that kind of attention.
- Overly Long Gag: Lobanov's attempts to explain to his patient what he needs to do with illustrations takes him the whole day, and just when the patient finally understands, he botches it due to seeing large boobs and tripping, spilling everything.
- Petite Pride: Varya's breasts are almost non-existent. After going along with Lyuba's idea and trying the fake boobs, she only gets reinforced in the opinion that they better stay that way. She also tries to convince her patient that small breasts are better by making her try fake boobs for herself, but it achieves the opposite effect: what got Varya creeped out, made the patient excised.
- Terrible Artist: The pictures Lobanov draws to explain to his patient what he wants from him are very crude and primitive. Bykov lampshades this.Bykov: Rock painting, the level of australopithecine. Lobanov, you're growing!
