Dorothy must face her ex-husband (Herb Edelman) when her daughter announces her upcoming wedding.Original airdate, September 21, 1985.
Tropes:
- Amusing Injuries: Dorothy's ex-husband Stan (in his debut appearance) attends the wedding reception of their daughter. For said daughter's sake, Dorothy decides to not make a scene and Blanche gives Dorothy her hand to squeeze when Dorothy is about to lose her temper. Dorothy does just that during her daughter's reception, at one point bringing Blanche to her knees.
- Cowardice Callout: When the wedding is over, Dorothy delivers an absolutely scathing "The Reason You Suck" Speech to Stan for leaving her after thirty-eight years of marriage. But as she puts it, it's the way he did it that truly angers her: he was too cowardly to say it himself and had his lawyer deliver the news by phoning her. As Dorothy tears into him, Stan simply sits quietly and hangs his head, knowing that she's completely right.Dorothy: You walked out on me, Stanley Zbornak! You walked out on me and you didn't have the decency to tell me you were leaving. I heard it from some lawyer over the phone. A stranger, Stanley, a total stranger told me my marriage was over...I deserved better than a stinking phone call from my husband's legal representative. You had a choice, and you took the easy way out, and it was a rotten thing to do!
- Distracted by the Sexy: Blanche's description to Rose.Rose: Oh she's really upset, we better keep an eye on her.Blanche: You're right. We better stick to her like a tight shirt on a sweaty farmhand. (voice gets dreamy) You know the type, with the big biceps and the hairy chest, just glistening in the hot sun... What were we talking about?
- Early-Installment Weirdness: Stan's characterization in this episode is quite different from his sympathetic Butt-Monkey status in later appearances. He is much more snide and takes repeated potshots at Dorothy without provocation, which is made even worse by the fact that he's the one who left her.
- Hard Truth Aesop: Sophia offers one to Dorothy: "Anger is like a piece of shredded wheat stuck under your dentures." She explains that Dorothy has to confront her rage toward Stan if she is ever going to move on from him, even though Dorothy is reluctant to do it. The only way to truly heal and get closure is by being open and honest about your feelings even if it's painful to do so, and Dorothy admits that she does genuinely feel better once she finally tells Stan how much she's hurting.
- Inherently Attractive Profession: Dorothy is absolutely thrilled that Dennis, the man Kate is marrying, is a doctor—to the point where she refers to him as "Doctor" more frequently than his name.
- I Want My Beloved to Be Happy: Dorothy loathes the thought of having to be in the same room with her ex-husband Stan, especially since it's been two years since their divorce. But upon realizing that her daughter Kate desperately wants her father at the wedding to give her away, she's able to swallow her pride and anger (albeit with a lot of help from Blanche and Rose) long enough for the ceremony and reception to go off without a hitch.
- Never Got to Say Goodbye: A variation occurs during "The Reason You Suck" Speech described below. Dorothy tells Stanley that, by running off like a coward instead of ending their marriage in person, he denied her the chance to say goodbye and thus truly get closure. She concludes the speech with a firm "Goodbye, Stanley," finally finishing things on her own terms.
- "The Reason You Suck" Speech: Dorothy delivers an awesome one to her ex-husband Stan on their daughter's wedding day, calling him out on his cowardice and how he didn't even have the decency to talk to her in person when he left her for another woman.Dorothy: The first thing you can do is get rid of that ridiculous toupee. I want to talk to the bald guy who left me. You walked out on me, Stanley Zbornak! You walked out on me and you didn't have the decency to tell me you were leaving. I heard it from some lawyer over the telephone. A stranger, Stanley, a total stranger told me that my marriage was over. Things happened? You're damn right things happened. 38 years happened. 38 years of sharing and crying and dreaming and fighting and loving and children and diapers and school plays and little League. And worrying if you'd get through your gallbladder surgery. And wondering if I'd get through another Sunday dinner at your mother's house. And the lean years when the business failed. And the good years and the happy Christmases. All those things happened. And because they happened, I deserved better than a stinking phone call from my husband's legal representative. You had a choice, and you took the easy way out. And it was a rotten thing to do! But now you're here in front of me and you can't run away. And I finally get to have what you tried to cheat me out of. I finally get to say "goodbye, Stanley".
