"Ooh, my nose!"
Just like a number of memes from The Brady Bunch — "Mom always said don't play ball in the house," "Pawkchawps ... and appell-sawce!" and "Marcia, Marcia, Marcia!" — "Ooh, my nose!" is one of the lines fondly remembered as a signature line from perhaps the signature Marcia episode.
How fitting that "The Subject Was Noses" for this episode.
The Bradys are undertaking their first major redecorating project since moving into their home just a little over four years earlier ... the wallpapering of the girls' room, from pink-painted plaster to flowery design wallpaper. The local flooring and wall covering store owner's son, Charley, works there as a courier and is asked to bring samples over. Charley, a nice but kind of dorky kid who is in Marcia's class, asks her out to the dance that Saturday night and she says yes.
But then here's where our dilemma comes into play.
Enter Doug Simpson, the Big Man on Campus who is well known for his exploits on the football field and has girls just champing at the bit to go out with him. Turns out he has had his eye on Marcia and decides that a dance date would be perfect for the two. So, he asks Marcia ... and perhaps so infatuated with the idea of going out with a complete hunk, says yes.
Turns out infatuation gets in the way of her remembering that she already had a date with Charley. Oh no ... what to do?
She quickly meets up with Greg during lunch hour at school and explains her dilemma. Greg says he has had the same problem at times — a date with a totally hot girl ... and then the prospect of an even hotter, white-hot babe comes calling — and after accepting the second date, tells the other girl, "Something suddenly came up." Rude and somewhat dishonest (surprising for him) as it is, Greg has apparently used it with success, and Marcia decides that she'll tell Charley just that.
And so she runs into Charley in between classes and lets him down easy: "Something suddenly came up." Surprisingly for Charley, he never calls her bluff; he just accepts her explanation at face value ... no hard feelings, right?
Maybe not, but then karma comes into play.
A day or so later, after school, Marcia is on the phone, having sweet nothings whispered into her ear by her new beau. She's got what she always wanted ... the ultimate dream date, and maybe a chance to go all the way. She's clearly in dream land ... even when Carol asks her to call in Peter and Bobby — who are playing catch the football in the yard — in to dinner.
Peter lobs a pass, just as Marcia opens the screen door and walks out onto the patio. She's so oblivious to where she is she doesn't see the football crash flush into her fa ...
"Ooh, my nose!"
Now, Marcia's got a swollen nose and now has to relive the horror of not only that having happened, but what if Doug sees her before date night and that he won't like her anymore now that Marcia's beautiful face is damaged? No more kissing the perfect girl.
And as it turns out, Marcia's right. She tries burying her face in her school books but can't avoid Doug. He gets one look at her ... immediately realizes just what she feared would happen — her beautiful face is marred because of that still-swollen nose, and that it ruins the appeal of kissing a girl with dreamy eyes and the perfectly-shaped face and all — and decides that "Something suddenly came up!"
"Something suddenly came up!" What an Ironic Echo.
Now Marcia is potentially without any date for Saturday night ... unless she can find a way to explain to Charley that she wasn't exactly honest with him ... that she canceled out the reliable guy for someone she thought would make her dream of dating the perfect hunk true. Both Mike and Carol make sure Marcia understands just that: "I think your problem isn't a swollen noise. It's a bruised conscience."
Fortunately, Charley is understanding and accepts Marcia's apology. And their date is back on.
And it turns out Marcia and Charley had a good time after all. The best part came at the pizza parlor after the dance, when Charley got into a fight with Doug (after Doug began relentlessly teasing him and Marcia), and Charley manages to land a huge uppercut to Doug's nose ... after which he cries out, "Ooh, my nose!" (and presumably his new date takes him to the emergency room for treatment). Mike comically points out how Marcia felt earlier, she comically feigns ignorance.
Tropes present in this episode:
- Beware the Nice Ones: Charley is a genuinely Nice Guy, but he can pack quite a punch when he's provoked, as (offscreen) Doug learns the hard way.
- Honesty Is the Best Policy: After Marcia's nose is healed, she confesses to Charlie why she broke her date with him and apologizes, and though he acknowledges it was a dirty trick, he's proud of her for coming clean anyway and agrees to go out with her after all.
- Hypocritical Humor: At the end of the episode, Marcia muses on Doug's ego over a swollen nose after telling Mike and Carol that she and Charlie saw into him at the pizza place, and that Doug's teasing caused a fight between him and Charlie. When Mike comically points out how Marcia felt earlier, she comically feigns ignorance.
- Jerk Jock: Doug Simpson, a Big Man on Campus wannabe thanks to his vain attitude and instant breakup with Marcia. Although he does drive a Triumph and is big football star.
- Laser-Guided Karma: Marcia learns a lesson in humility after Doug breaks her date with her, since she did the same thing to Charlie earlier. Mike even lampshades this with, "I think your problem isn't a swollen nose. It's a bruised conscience."
- The Freeform airing of The Brady Bunch Movie had Marcia Brady (portrayed by Christine Taylor) saying "Now I'll never be a teen model. I'll never be anything. What's the point of living? I might as well die" after getting a swollen nose from a awkward football incident made by Peter Brady. It was the idea of Disney to air such a cute movie aimed at girls (with the same scene that the same wayward football thrown by Peter accidentally hits Marcia flush in the face) on one of their TV channels.
- Nasal Trauma: The crux of Marcia's injury.
- Running Gag: The phrase "Something suddenly came up" is used rather frequently among different characters, from Greg to Marcia and even Doug. Even Cindy being told "[she's] too young to understand" Marcia's predicament briefly becomes one of these.
- Signature Line: One of the most famous lines from the entire series – Marcia's "Ooh, my nose!" – is uttered when a wayward football thrown by Peter accidentally hits Marcia flush in the face.
