Before the Angry Nintendo Nerd, there was James Rolfe who decided to rant about a couple of old NES games that he had bad memories with. These videos were originally titled: Bad NES Games. This is where Rolfe had yet to develop a proper character, and more or less had a rant for Simon's Quest that wasn't intended to be taken seriously, before he donned what would later become a trademark for the character to be.
Originally uploaded on youtube on April 8th, 2006; Originally created in 2004
In the first episode of the series, the Nerd reviews Castlevania II: Simon's Quest. Criticisms revolve around the obtrusive day/night cycles, which feature a dialogue box announcing the transition, the transition taking several seconds, and the frequency of the transitions; not being able to survive falling into water; shops being expensive while money drops are stingy, in addition to losing all of your money if you get a Game Over and stores being closed at night; scenery that you fall through in spite of appearing to be traversable; the lack of end-level bosses; cryptic end-level requirements (you need to throw an oak stake at the orb); and one particular cryptic puzzle that requires players to crouch at a dead end for ten seconds while holding a red crystal to summon a tornado that carries them to the next part of the stage. Not helping matters is the fact that villagers speak in cryptic riddles instead of providing any useful advice. Books hidden in-game provide helpful hints, but they are hard to find.
Password support is featured so players can continue from mid-game, but the passwords, themselves, are long and tedious. As a final insult to injury, the final boss, Dracula, looks like a generic skeletal specter and is anticlimactically simple to defeat.
- Aside Comment: The Nerd briefly breaks away from his rant about the tedious execution of the game's currency system to snark at the oddity of the Flame Whip.Nerd: Speaking of the Flame Whip, that's pretty weird itself, isn't it? I mean, they were really being creative with that one, the "Flame Whip".
- Disappointing Last Level: The Nerd criticizes the final area of the game for not only the anticlimatic final boss, but also the complete lack of danger leading up to it — just a tedious trek through Castlevania with no enemies or traps.Nerd: I mean, what the hell's the point of going through the castle if there's no way to fight? Did the game designers just, like, run out of time or somethin'?
- Early-Installment Weirdness: The Nerd is never physically seen here and his vocabulary is rather tame and almost indistinguishable from the numerous copycats that follow his example, such as the usage of the word "retarded" which almost unheard in later AVGN episodes. It's also low in sound and game quality, a testament to the fact it was made in 2004.
- Establishing Character Moment: Right out of the gate, the Nerd establishes his Caustic Critic persona:Nerd: This game sucks.
- Oh, Crap!: When he tries to go grinding for hearts, he jumps from a high floor of the village in an attempt to quickly traverse the area, only to fall into water, causing him to lose all of his hearts.Nerd: OH SHIT! Now I gotta start all over again!
- Skewed Priorities: The Nerd complains about how the texts for the hidden books can only be accessed once, and the player could accidentally skip over them before they're completely written on screen, while the more common day/night transition messages can't be skipped in the same manner.Nerd: So what the game designers figured is this: it isn't absolutely necessary for me to read about how to find Dracula's castle or what one's supposed to do with an Oak Stake, but what I do need to read, again and again constantly, is, "THE MORNING SUN HAS VANQUISHED THE HORRIBLE NIGHT." How about vanquish this horrible game?!
- Sophomore Slump: The Nerd starts off by stating that he considers Castlevania and Castlevania III: Dracula's Curse to be great NES classics, but when it comes to Simon's Quest, "the game designers obviously were not thinking straight."
- The Stinger: At the end of the video, after the Nerd sums up his thoughts on the game while showing footage of the ending, there is a Smash to Black and he thanks the viewers. After a Beat, the footage briefly comes back as the Nerd adds, "The ending sucks, too."
- Thanking the Viewer: "Thank you for listening, good night."
Originally recorded on May 2004, uploaded in 2006
Episode of interest: Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde Re-Revisited
This is the first time the Nerd showed up on camera. He declared that he did this just so he can show exactly how he feels about this game.
The Nerd declares the NES adaptation of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde to be the absolute worst game he ever played while drowning his sorrows in Rolling Rock. To demonstrate: when he starts the game, he plays as Dr. Jekyll, who is slow, attacked nearly constantly by townsfolk, and has a staff that does serves no purpose. Upon running out of health, he transforms into Mr. Hyde, who dies for no reason after a few seconds, resulting in a Game Over.
- Catchphrase: DEAD. FUCKING. SERIOUS.
