Dirk Moeller, a member of the trade delegation of the United Nations of Earth, uses a device hidden in his rectum to emit a series of specially-modulated smells that trigger a violent outburst from a member of the Nidu trade delegation during negotiations, which results in a brain aneurysm for the Nidu and a heart attack for Moeller. Following the diplomatic incident, secretly orchestrated by Jean Schroeder, the head of the American Institute for Colonization, an organization known for its anti-Nidu leanings, the Nidu ambassador to Earth, Narf-win-Getag, explains that, in order to make things right with his government, Earth has to help them find a particularly rare breed of genetically-engineered sheep known as the Android's Dream, which is a necessary part of the coronation ceremony for a new Nidu Fehen. Unfortunately, the stock owned by the ruling auf-Getag clan has been wiped out by a genetically-engineered virus, and someone is deliberately wiping out all the other locations of this type of sheep to sabotage the coronation. Should the coronation fail to take place, this will result in a Succession Crisis and a civil war between the various Nidu clans, and Earth will not be able to remain on the sidelines.
While the Nidu are hardly the galaxy's dominant power (they're somewhere on the level of a poor African nation, compared to many other species), they are still far stronger than Earth and would easily crush any resistance. The Secretary of State Jim Heffer asks his aide Ben Javna to look into this, especially since the coronation is to take place in a mere week. Ben asks a longtime friend and ex-soldier Harry Creek to search for both the sheep and the origin of the "odor-emitting" device used by the late Moeller. To aid in his search, Harry installs a custom intelligence agent he designed from the brain scans of his best friend, who was killed in battle some time ago, who also happens to be Ben's younger brother Brian. Brian Javna (the AI) quickly directs Harry to a pet shop owned by Robin Baker, although he initially neglects to tell Harry that he's not looking for a sheep at the pet store. Robin Baker is the sheep or, rather, her DNA is 18% sheep of the Android's Dream genotype, although it's all "junk" DNA, so she's otherwise human.
Robin asks Harry out and invites him to Arlington Mall for a game of some interesting new sport. However, a team hired by Jean Schroeder tries to take Robin, starting a fight between Harry and the mercenaries, during which Harry shows his skills as a former soldier, beating the team and escaping with Robin. He tells her the truth about her origins (her mother was a genetically-engineered Half-Human Hybrid meant to satisfy the fetishes of certain well-paying people; her creator deliberately forced the hybrid's pregnancy and tweaked the fetus's DNA to be mostly human). After a brief period of denial, Robin accepts it. However, instead of bringing her in to the State Department, Harry is told by Ben to run and hide until such time as Ben can guarantee their safety. Harry goes to a forger he knows and has the guy provide them fake passports and book them passage on a starship, which happens to be a cruise ship called the Neverland.
Meanwhile, Jim Heffer and Ben Javna realize that there are multiple players involved in the game to get their hands on Robin Baker. While the State Department is working to get her to agree to participate in the Nidu coronation ceremony, the Department of Defense is determined to milk the crisis for all it's worth in order to distance Earth from the Nidu (thus, hopefully, raising Earth's status among the galaxy's more powerful denizens) and use the public fear to boost the military budget to increase Earth's Space Navy (which would also raise Earth's status). It's also revealed that Jean Schroeder is in cahoots with Narf-win-Getag. Their goal is to get Robin Baker and use her to place Narf-win-Getag on the Nidu throne. The Nidu would then conquer Earth, and Narf would install Jean as the governor of Earth.
While aboard the Neverland, Harry finds out that all the passengers are veterans of the disastrous Battle of Pajmhi and their spouses. He himself is a veteran of that battle on the Nidu colony of Chagfun, which is also where Brian Javna was killed. One of the veterans takes a group photo and uploads it to his Ranger unit's newsletter, which gets automatically sent out to all current and former Rangers, including Rod Acuna, the head of the merc team employed by Schroeder. Thus Acuna, Schroeder, and Narf-win-Getag learn of the location of Robin Baker. Jim Heffer and Ben Javna also learn of it. Narf-win-Getag informs them that the Nidu government has filed a suit with the Common Confederation (a loose union of all known sentient species) to have Robin Baker declared the property of Nidu government (citing that the sheep DNA in her is the exclusively property of the ruling auf-Getag clan). During the quick hearing, Ben Javna represents the UNE and declares that Robin is neither human nor a citizen of the UNE, as she is a member of her own species. Thus, the species of Robin Baker is protected by CC law. Unfortunately, this opens her up to the possibility of the Nidu declaring war on her, which is precisely what they do. Knowing that the Nidu will intercept the Neverland on its scheduled stop at Chagfun, Heffer convinces the Secretary of Defense Bob Hope to send a warship to protect UNE citizens. Jim and Ben then depart to attend the Nidu coronation ceremony.
In the meantime, Brian Javna is conducting an independent investigation of all the players involved in the events. After reversing a hacking attempt by a hacker named Archie McClellan, who has been hired by Acuna's people to help them track down Harry and Robin, he finds out that Archie is secretly a member of the Church of the Evolved Lamb, as self-admitted Scam Religion that has been working for over a century to bring about their prophecies. He attempts to break into the Church's computer network only to be captured by the Church's own AI, based on the mind of Andrea Hayter-Ross, one of the Church's founders. Andrea shows Brian that, in order for Harry and Robin to survive, they have to allow themselves to be captured by the Nidu.
Upon arriving to Chagfun, the Neverland is boarded by Nidu marines, who attempt to capture Harry and Robin, but Harry manages to evade some and kill others. With the assistance from the cruise liner's Captain Lehane, also a Pajmhi veteran, Harry manages to get Robin and himself to an Escape Pod. Lehane has all the pods launched in order to give the Nidu gunship some extra targets, while also venting the section with the Nidu marines into space. Just as the Nidu start blasting all the escape pods, the UNES British Columbia arrives to protect the Neverland and the pods.
Harry and Robin's pod lands on the surface of Chagfun, and they head to a communications tower set up to transmit a memorial ceremony of the Battle of Pajmhi. However, Rod Acuna has anticipated Harry making it off the ship and to the surface and ambushes them along with Takk, a Nagch male on a spiritual quest. Takk, having previously gotten close to Archie before being forced to eat him, has become a follower of Archie's religion. Upon realizing that Robin is the Evolved Lamb, he turns on Acuna and eats him. Harry contacts Brian, who explains what Robin needs to do. They then contact Narf-win-Getag, who arrives to Chagfun along with Jean Schroeder and comes to the surface to negotiate terms.
Meanwhile, Narf's decades-long plan has come to fruition. At the moment when Hubu-auf-Getag's time to perform the coronation expires, he triggers a series of events that place him in control of six of the Nidu's eight Glar-class destroyers, obliterating the other two. Two of those destroyers appear in Earth's orbit and hold humanity hostage. The other four threaten the Nidu homeworld. On Chagfun's surface, Harry and Robin agree to come with Narf-win-Getag to perform the coronation ceremony on several conditions, one of which demands that Schroeder be cut out of the deal. Despite Jean's protestations, Narf personally chokes him to death, pointing out that Jean has already done his part.
On the Nidu homeworld, as the ceremony is taking place, the Nidu computer network scans Robin's brain to ensure that the "sheep" is alive and her DNA to ensure that it's the right kind of sheep. Then it asks a series of questions meant to secure the next Fehen's rule. What Narf-win-Getag doesn't know is that only the "sheep"'s legal owner can answer the questions (which are, technically, directed at the sheep itself), and only the auf-Getag clan can own the Android's Dream sheep. Hubu-auf-Getag is counting on that to complete the ceremony, when Narf-win-Getag inevitably fails. Just as Narf is preparing to answer the computer's questions, Robin speaks up and declares the Robin Baker Clan as the claimant to the throne and demands control of the network, immediately granting access to Brian Javna.
In a matter of seconds, Brian enters the Nidu network, takes it over, and merges with it, disabling all military and civilian systems (except life-support systems) across Nidu space (and above Earth), holding the Nidu hostage until they accept Robin as their Fehen. Narf attempts to attack Robin but is stopped by Brian and Takk. When Hubu-auf-Getag protests, Harry (the Prime Minister of the nation of Robin Baker) explains that, in accordance with the laws of Nidu and the rules of the auf-Getag clan, Robin's ascension to "Fehenship" is valid. When Hubu claims that the xenophobic Nidu will never accept someone like Robin as their ruler, Harry points out that it's not a requirement for the position due to the control over the network. Furthermore, trying to get rid of the entire Robin Baker Clan by killing Robin, Harry, and Takk will not work, as Brian is also a member of the clan, and he's virtually unkillable due to being integrated with the Nidu network. Harry explains that Robin has no intention of actively ruling the Nidu people and points out that she will need a capable governor with powers virtually identical to her own. After listening to the conditions of governorship (including never screwing with Earth or the nation of Robin Baker and making sure that Narf-win-Getag goes to prison), Hubu-auf-Getag agrees to assume the responsibility of Robin's governor of all of Nidu. His first act, as demanded by Robin, is to hand over the two Glar-class destroyers above Earth to UNE control as reparations for the hostilities. Jim Heffer then offers alliance with the nation of Robin Baker and to sponsor her entry into the Common Confederation.
Then the two human technicians, who are supposed to maintain the network, announce that they are members of the Church of the Evolved Lamb and declare Robin as their Messiah. Apparently, everything for the past several decades has been orchestrated by the Church in order to result in this moment. As the Evolved Lamb, Robin inherits all the assets of the Church, whose net worth is $174.9 billion, making her the single richest person on Earth. Takk decides to go home, having had enough adventure, and Harry and Robin hitch a ride on the Church's transport (although, technically, it's the Church's members who are hitching a ride on Robin's transport now), as Robin wants to forget all this and just get back to her normal life as a pet shop owner, and Harry is glad to get back to his day job of delivering bad news to alien dignitaries.
