Barter
In a suspiciously nostalgic episode, homemaker Ruthie (Jill Jaress) becomes greatly stressed when her son Little Nicky (Miguel Alamo) begins taking up the drums to mimic his bandleader father Nicky (Michael Santiago), hindering her ability to try and win a local contest. One day, a bizarre salesman known as "Klaatzu" (Jack Carter) arrives at Ruthie's door, asking for some ammonia. When given some, Klaatzu drinks it without any serious repercussions, and he thanks Ruthie by giving her the "Opper-stopper", a miraculous device capable of freezing time. Ruthie uses the device to pause Little Nicky so she can finally get some quiet time, but when the device ends up breaking, Ruthie tells Nicky the truth, and decides that they must call Klaatzu back to help out. The salesman is eager to help, but desires something far more valuable than ammonia in exchange for a second display of his services.
Tropes:
- All Drummers Are Animals: Little Nicky's drumming skills leave a lot to be desired, and he refuses to stop no matter how often his mother tells him that he's being disruptive. When he's unpaused, he's then put in a "permanent start", continuing to play the drums no matter how much his parents try to get his attention.
- Batty Lip Burbling: Klaatzu is prone to doing this as he talks, usually when he's thirsty.
- Big "SHUT UP!": Ruthie screams "QUIET!" as her husband and son practice drumming in the kitchen while she's trying to talk to Bethel over the phone.
- Bittersweet Ending: Ruthie and Nicky lose their son after they end up saving his life, but Klaatzu assures the couple that Little Nicky will be in good hands, traveling the galaxy as his apprentice for the next three years.
- Bizarre Taste in Food: Klaatzu can not only drink ammonia without any consequences, but he loves guzzling the stuff when he gets thirsty. He even tells Ruthie that he can smell the substance from 100 miles away.
- Bookends: The episode opens and finishes with the sound of 50s rock and roll, heavy on the drums.
- Bratty Half-Pint: Little Nicky, who wants to play his drums no matter how much it's inconveniencing his mother, to the point where he eagerly wants to sit in with his father's band.
- Catchphrase:
- Ruthie has "Good Golly!", especially when she watches Klaatzu guzzle ammonia for the first time.
- Nicky often gives exasperated declarations of "Ay caramba!" when he gets frustrated with the situation he and his wife find themselves in.
- Chekhov's Gun: Ammonia, which Ruthie is introduced using to try and rid one of Nicky's shirts of a stain for a magazine contest. Klaatzu craves the stuff and loves drinking it, so the ripoff Ricardos bait him with all the bottles from the local store (three years worth) to lure him back to their home so the Opper-stopper can be fixed.
- Cheerful Child: Little Nicky, who eagerly wants to be a great musician like his father.
- Cloud Cuckoolander: Ruthie, much like her inspiration.
- Deal with the Devil: In exchange for fixing the Opper-stopper and unpausing Little Nicky, the ersatz Ricardos are forced to trade Little Nicky himself in exchange for a second demonstration of Klaatzu's services, the salesman taking the boy throughout the galaxy to act as his assistant.
- Denser and Wackier: This is quite obviously the most loony and off-the-wall episode in the entire series, even without the completely random I Love Lucy motif.
- The Door Slams You: After introducing himself to Ruthie, Klaatzu gets the kitchen door slammed in his face by Little Nicky, who rushed home to tell his mom that Nicky said he could sit in with his band.
- Expy: Barring Klaatzu, all the characters are ripoffs of the Ricardos (Ruthie/Lucy, Nicky/Ricky, Little Nicky/Little Ricky) for no discernable reason. Ruthie even has a friend named "Bethel" (Ethel) who she tries to talk to over the phone in the opening act, as Little Nicky's drumming hinders her attempt.
- Fiery Redhead: True to her source material, the redheaded Ruthie frantically begs Klaatzu to help unpause her son.
- Generation Xerox: Nicky and his son Little Nicky, much like their source material. The end of the episode has the trick being replayed with Little Nicky and Klaatzu, once the boy is made his assistant.
- Ham-to-Ham Combat: The over-the-top pastiches of the Ricardos we follow go up against a babbling alien salesman to save the life of their son.
- High-Pressure Emotion: When Klaatzu drinks ammonia, steam shoots out of his ears to express his jubilation at the taste. When Little Nicky becomes a second Klaatzu at the end of the episode, his ears do the same thing when Klaatzu drinks up.
- Hope Spot: At the start of the second act, Nicky manages to unpause Little Nicky by fiddling with the Opper-stopper's wiring, but it sparks again and re-freezes the boy.
- Human Alien: Klaatzu looks perfectly human on the surface, barring his ability to safely ingest ammonia and the steam that shoots out of his ears when he does so.
- Inelegant Blubbering: Ruthie is prone to crying long and uninterrupted wails, much like her predecessor.
- Like Father, Like Son: Nicky and his son wear the same clothes and enjoy drumming, Nicky even calling the boy a chip off the old block, in his special way.
- Malaproper: Like his source character, Nicky has a tendency to mix up idioms, calling his son a "chip off the ol' wood" for how his drumming has improved, and thinking that the ammonia Ruthie bought is a "flake" for how it doesn't seem to be bringing Klaatzu back.
- Mama Bear: Ruthie will stop at nothing to try and unpause the son she wanted to keep things down a notch.
- Manchild: Though Ruthie tells him to tell their son to keep the noise down while she's on the phone, Nicky is eager to support his son's talent, joining in on Little Nicky's impromptu drumming session in the kitchen.
- Motor Mouth: Klaatzu, as played by character actor Jack Carter, especially as he offers to trade any of his wares for some of Ruthie's ammonia.
- No Indoor Voice: Nicky, mimicking the character he's derived from.
- The Nose Knows: Klaatzu claims that he can smell ammonia from 100 miles away. The ersatz Ricardos use this to their benefit by having Ruthie buy all the ammonia at the store and pouring it into cups, which soon brings Klaatzu back to the house.
- Paper-Thin Disguise: Ruthie and Nicky dress as piles of kitchen utensils while watching Klaatzu sleep from outside, replacing his ammonia with bleach to try and stop the salesman from taking their son away for three years.
- Rock & Roll: Little Nicky jams to a record of it while he bangs away on his drum set.
- Shout-Out: A few 50s references are shoehorned in the episode, to go with the Lucy motif.
- While handing the phone to Ruthie so she can talk to Bethel, Nicky calls her the "household menace", comparing her to Dennis the Menace.
- Klaatzu's name is derived from Klaatu from The Day the Earth Stood Still (1951).
- Stealth Hi/Bye: As Ruthie experiments with the Opper-stopper, Klaatzu teleports away while her back is turned, leaving her perplexed when she tries to ask for more.
- Stock Sound Effects: Steam whistles are heard as Klaatzu has steam shoot out of his ears, a pleasurable reaction to having his thirst quenched.
- Tampering with Food and Drink: To stop Klaatzu from taking Little Nicky away, Ruthie and Nicky replace his ammonia with bleach while he sleeps. While this appears to work, the pair find that the Opper-stopper now has no stop button, leaving Little Nicky unable to stop drumming or hear his folks, prompting Klaatzu to reappear and ask them if they want to trade the boy now.
- The '50s: Given the motif of the episode, it wouldn't be appropriate if it was set anywhere else than here.
- Trademark Favorite Food: Klaatzu has a taste for ammonia, which he says he can smell over 100 miles. He comes to Ruthie's door for a bottle of the stuff to drink after suffering from the hot climate, and in exchange for quenching his thirst, Ruthie is given the Opper-stopper, which lets her pause Little Nicky for some quiet time. When the Opper-stopper breaks down, the ripoff Ricardos lure him back to the house with a three-year supply of the stuff so he can fix it.
- Traveling Salesman: Klaatzu is an alien who makes his living as one, selling travel-sized mechanical devices that can perform wondrous feats throughout the galaxy. When Ruthie and Nicky first meet him, they separately tell him that they don't want whatever he's selling.
- Verbal Tic: Klaatzu frequently babbles his lips when he gets thirsty for ammonia.
- Wham Shot: The Opper-stopper sparking and breaking down as Ruthie tries to demonstrate it to Nicky by unpausing their son.
- What the Hell, Hero?: After Ruthie tells him the truth about why their son is frozen solid, Nicky calls her out for pausing Little Nicky without thinking of the consequences involved.
- Whole-Plot Reference: The entire episode is a VERY obvious parody of I Love Lucy. Notably, there's no reason why it goes this route at all.
- World of Ham: Every single character here is nuttier than an assembly line full of chocolate, given that the whole episode is a completely random I Love Lucy spoof.
- You No Take Candle: Klaatzu talks this way, since he doesn't have the best understanding of earthly languages.
- Zany Scheme: Much like her predecessor would do, Ruthie spends the first half of the episode trying to perfect a series of "household hints" for a magazine contest so she can win a new freezer.
