Fitting Punishment
In this case, the Lord can't taketh away soon enough.
Crypt Keeper: (throwing skulls into a basketball hoop, which shatter on impact; wearing a basketball jersey and armbands) There you are, sports-fiends. You know, dead people like me make excellent point guards. When we can't get off a shot, we simply pass... away, that is. (tosses another skull into the hoop; he cackles) Speaking of which, allow me to be your fear-leader for tonight's half-time show. It's a putrid playlet about my personal favorite sport: being a mortician. I fittingly call it: Fitting Punishment.
Following the death of his parents in a car crash, the teenage Bobby Davis (Jon Clair) is sent to live with Ezra Thorntonberry (Moses Gunn), his uncle and only living relative. Ezra is a despicable old miser who runs a funeral home where he cuts every corner he can, stealing gold teeth from bodies, using tap water instead of embalming fluid, and ordering cheap caskets made in Taiwan that are six inches shorter than those made in the U.S. Ezra demeans and verbally abuses Bobby while constantly (mis)quoting the Bible, makes him sleep on a gurney in an unlit closet, and teaches him about the funeral business to earn his room and board.
One particular day, Bobby's "mistake" in ordering a casketnote leads potential customer Mr. Jeffries to take his business elsewhere, and the furious Ezra retaliates by beating Bobby with a crowbar. The assault leaves Bobby paralyzed from the waist down, and Ezra finds himself saddled with the escalating medical bills. As Bobby hobbles up the basement stairs after cleaning up one night, Ezra throws his prized basketball at him, knocking him back down the stairs and killing him. Not wanting to waste money on a casket, Ezra decides to use the one Bobby ordered - only to find that Bobby is too tall to fit into it, prompting him to saw off Bobby's feet. After the funeral service, Ezra's long-suffering assistant Clyde (Teddy Wilson) confronts him by stating that Bobby's death was no accident and quits.
That night, Ezra's nap in his office is disturbed by a series of odd occurrences - a knock at the door, a dripping faucet, a light left on. He blames them on Clyde, but the combination of Bobby's basketball bouncing down the stairs and the suddenly-flickering basement lights throws a scare into him. Ezra is suddenly kicked from behind, causing him to fall into the basement, where he finds that his legs are paralyzed. He is further shocked to see Bobby's animate severed feet walking down the stairs on their own, followed by his nephew's reanimated corpse, wielding his crowbar. As Ezra begs for mercy, Bobby uses his own Bible-quoting habit against him, saying "Blood is thicker than water" before bringing the crowbar down.
Tropes:
- Agony of the Feet: After Bobby dies, Ezra saws his feet off to squeeze him into one of his cheap Taiwanese coffins. The feet subsequently become animate and kick Ezra down the basement stairs, crippling him.
- Ain't Too Proud to Beg: Ezra's final moments have him begging Bobby not to kill him.
- Animate Body Parts: Ezra is attacked by Bobby's reanimated severed feet, which he sawed off his body so he could stuff him into one of his cheap caskets.
- Armor-Piercing Response: When Clyde announces that he's quitting, the barely aware Ezra literally waves him off, but this line certainly gets his attention.Clyde: Look, I know that nice, young man didn't die in no accident. (Ezra looks up at him) I know it. I can't prove it, but I know what I know.
- Artistic License – Religion: In-universe: After Ezra quotes "A penny saved is a penny earned" as a Bible verse, Bobby points out that the phrase actually came from Benjamin Franklin, prompting the old miser to smack him across the face.
- As the Good Book Says...: Ezra is quick to offer such quotes, though Bobby notices how many of them actually don't come from the Bible. To add to the irony of Ezra's death, Bobby's final line is an example of the trope.
- Asshole Victim: Ezra, to a tee, being a crooked funeral director who abuses his nephew and later kills him.
- Bad Boss: When there aren't any customers looking, Ezra repeatedly insults and abuses Bobby. He also yells at Clyde for playing the organ during services.
- Be Careful What You Wish For: As he's about to open up a delivery, Ezra tells Bobby to give him the nearby crowbar. Come the final scene, Bobby's all too happy to do so.
- Being Good Sucks:
- Clyde knows the truth about what Ezra did to Bobby, but he clearly regrets that he can't actually prove it.
- The doctor who examines Bobby's injuries. His line of questioning to Ezra make it clear he suspects the truth, and doesn't like how all he can do is ask questions.
- Big "NO!": Ezra screams one in his final moments, right before the episode cuts to black.
- Big "OMG!": Ezra, twice. First when he realizes he's been crippled, and then when Bobby appears.
- Bookends: The story begins and ends with organ music being played.
- Chekhov's Boomerang: Bobby's basketball.
- Crowbar Combatant: Ezra beats Bobby with a crowbar so severely that the young man is permanently crippled. Bobby oh-so gladly returns the favor to his uncle at the end of the episode.
- Cut Himself Shaving: When the doctor asks how Bobby suffered a severe spinal injury, Ezra claims the kid carelessly fell down the stairs while he was running in the house, though the doctor's tone makes it clear he has a good idea what really happened. Later, as Bobby's coffin is lowered into the ground during his funeral, we learn that Ezra used this lie again, but the doctor (who was attending out of respect) not so subtly notes how unusual it is that such an accident happened again so soon.
- Death by Irony: Not only does Ezra wind up being crippled by Bobby's severed feet, but Bobby uses the same crowbar his uncle crippled him with to finish him off.
- Even more ironic is that Ezra got distracted by a basketball when he was shoved down the stairs; the same basketball he used to kill Bobby.
- Plus, he was crippled by falling down the stairs; his own excuse.
- Didn't Think This Through: Ezra snaps at Bobby when the latter rightly yells at him for selling his shoes, yelling that he can't work anymore and is costing him money. Bobby fires back that his uncle probably should have thought about that before hitting him with the crowbar.
- Dirty Coward: Ezra spends the whole episode being a horrifically abusive bully to Bobby, but he's reduced to a pleading wreck when Bobby comes after him in the finale.
- Disproportionate Retribution: Your nephew costs you a valuable client? Cripple him with a crowbar!
- The Dog Bites Back:
- After all the abuse Bobby suffers at the hands of his uncle, he gets to return the favor in the end.
- In a lesser sense, Clyde quits working for Ezra and gets under his skin by saying he knows what happened to Bobby, albeit he's unable to prove it.
- Due to the Dead: Inverted:
- After killing Bobby, he decides to bury him in a cheap coffin he ordered by mistake. Bobby is too tall to fit inside, so Ezra saws off his feet.
- This also applies to the other corpses he takes care of. Embalming fluid? He uses tap water. Getting a decent casket? He uses cheap ones made in Taiwan. Keeping the corpse intact? Yes, albeit with a suspicious absence of fillings and gold teeth.
- He also didn't care one damn bit about his sister and her husband dying, and was actually fascinated by the horrible way she died, thinking only of the kind of money for the repairs a mortician like himself could make on the body.
- Establishing Character Moment: Ezra is introduced as being an all around pleasant man to his customers, but once behind closed doors, he's an absolute jerk to Bobby and Clyde. While this certainly paints a picture, it's how he's almost delighted to learn that his sister is dead and how he's more interested in how much money could be made from making her mangled body look presentable, that demonstrates what a truly awful person he is.
- "Eureka!" Moment: When it comes to light that he sold his shoes, Bobby threatens to call the sheriff on Ezra for causing his paralysis. In the middle of issuing more threats to Bobby, the old miser cracks that the shoes weren't going to be of use anymore, "just like that damn pine... coffin..."
- Even Evil Has Standards: The Crypt Keeper scoffs at Ezra's cheap coffins, and even at Ezra's name itself.
- Evil Cannot Comprehend Good: Ezra complains that all the warnings he's been given (especially about morals) are "strange things" and wacky nonsense, completely baffled by what these people want from him.
- Evil Uncle: Uncle Ezra. To a tee.
- Failed a Spot Check: Averted. The doctor observes how the rather tall Bobby was placed in a rather small coffin.
- Faux Affably Evil: Ezra is friendly and cheery to all of his customers, but only Bobby and Clyde have seen his shady dealings behind the scenes, and know how sinister he really is.
- Fearsome Foot: Bobby's kick Ezra down the basement stairs. It's an interesting variation since the boy's feet were severed prior...
- Five-Second Foreshadowing: After the doctor observes how Bobby was placed in a small coffin, Clyde can be seen glaring at Ezra. In the very next scene, Clyde quits and confronts Ezra about what he knows.
- Foil: It's brief, but Mr. Jeffries offers a contrast to the miserly and hypocritical Ezra. Jeffries is a sincerely religious man mourning the loss of a beloved relative (roughly the same age as Bobby, no less), and he wants nothing but the best for the service, not wanting to go the cheap route to save himself a few bucks.
- Formula-Breaking Episode: This is the only episode in the series to feature an entirely black cast.
- For Want Of A Nail: The pine casket Ezra mistakenly orders is what results in both Bobby and Ezra's deaths.
- Freeze-Frame Bonus: The bill that Ezra fumes over for Bobby's treatment reveals the kid's last name is Davis.
- From Bad to Worse: After being certain that the strange noises and occurrences are the result of Clyde trying to get to him, Ezra hears a basketball bouncing around and sees it come down the stairs. He realizes the implications, but it gets worse when he's knocked down the stairs, paralyzed from the waist down, and greeted by a certain someone that's so eager to see him again.
- Greed: Ezra's biggest flaw, after his Lack of Empathy.
- Grew a Spine: Clyde takes a lot of abuse from Ezra, but what his boss does to Bobby is what finally prompts him to quit in protest.
- Hate Sink: EZRA, a miserly, cheap, bitter, abusive, and cruel Hypocrite. You will cheer for his death.
- Hair-Trigger Temper: Everything can piss Ezra off in a moment's notice.
- Hates Everyone Equally: The only person Ezra truly loves is himself.
- He Knows Too Much: While being burdened by his crippled nephew was Ezra's main motivation for killing Bobby, there's also how Bobby started vowing to call the sheriff and reveal what really caused his injury.
- Hiding Behind Religion: Ezra's piety and Godliness in front of others is demonstrably insincere, and he mainly uses it as a means to act morally superior or otherwise excuse his actions. Bobby notices how most of his "biblical" quotes don't even come from The Bible itself.
- Honor Before Reason: Certain that Bobby was murdered by his boss, Ezra's assistant Clyde quits.
- Hypocrite: The only time Ezra is truthful in the whole episode is when he begs for his life.
- It's All About Me: Ezra only cares about himself, and he always gets angry when something isn't how he wants it to be.
- It's Probably Nothing: After firing Clyde, Ezra is disturbed by mysterious happenings going on in the funeral home at night; a knock at the door, dripping water in the basement sink, lights turning on by themselves. He thinks it's Clyde messing with him, but then he hears Bobby's basketball bouncing around upstairs before bouncing down the stairs towards him. This is followed by Bobby's severed feet kicking him down the stairs, and Bobby himself bringing the crowbar down on Ezra's skull.
- Jerk with a Heart of Jerk: Erza acts all nice and innocent before he does something truly horrible, as well as when he goes to perform the occasional act of Pragmatic Villainy.
- Jump Scare: While alone in the basement, Bobby sees Mr. Jefferies' son experiences a rigor mortis-induced muscle twitch, which understandably frightens him.
- Kick the Dog: Ezra does this repeatedly to Bobby, though crippling him over a mistake that was his own fault tops the list. There's also his deriding the kid being about as stupid as his recently deceased mother.
- Lack of Empathy: The only person Erza is truly pitiful toward is himself, and the suffering of every other person in the world means completely nothing to him. He's so detached that when he hears news of his own sister dying in a violent car crash, the first thing that comes to his mind is how much cash a mortician can make to have someone who dies like that look good at the funeral.
- Laser-Guided Karma: Every vile action Ezra performs is sent right back at him come the ending.
- Misanthrope Supreme: Ezra says, by the ending, that he hates everyone on the planet.
- Never My Fault:
- Ezra berates Bobby for being crippled, but Bobby himself points out that he'd have never ended up that way if Ezra hadn't beaten him with the crowbar. Ezra just says nothing in response to this.
- Ezra also blamed Bobby for ordering a pine coffin instead of oak, but Bobby insists that his uncle told him oak was the right order. When tasked with checking the tag and measuring the body, Bobby did indeed see the order was for oak.
- Nothing Is Scarier: We cut to black the second Bobby swings the crowbar. This can also count as an:
- Orphan's Ordeal: Bobby's parents died in a car accident shortly before the episode begins, and Ezra's his only living relative, so he has nowhere else to go. Great emphasis is put on how awful it is living with Ezra, but Bobby is noticeably displeased when Ezra directly insults his mother.
- Pragmatic Villainy: Ezra only considers taking Bobby in because he's strong and could be useful performing various tasks around the funeral home.
- Pre-Mortem One-Liner / Ironic Echo:Bobby: Like it says in the bible, Uncle Ezra: "Blood... is thicker than water."
- Psychological Projection: Erza puts every one of his flaws on others, while he thinks of himself as the only smart and righteous individual around.
- Race Lift: The episode is more or less the exact same story as the EC Comics tale of the same name, except everybody's black.
- Red Herring: Clyde, Ezra's former assistant. After he finds out Ezra killed Bobby, it's assumed he has a role in the climax. It's actually all Bobby's doing.
- Revenant Zombie: Bobby comes back as one of them, and the only thing he has on his mind is vengeance towards the cruel uncle who killed him.
- Roaring Rampage of Revenge: Bobby comes back for one, and he gets it.
- Robbing the Dead: Ezra is shown pulling a gold tooth out of a dead woman's mouth before he closes the coffin. He tries to do the same to Bobby, but finds no gold teeth because he regularly brushed.
- Scary Black Man:
- Bobby, after he comes back to life and kills Ezra.
- Ezra himself qualifies, as he cripples Bobby, murders him, and mutilates his corpse by filling it with water instead of embalming fluid, then saws off his feet.
- Schmuck Bait: After picking up Bobby's basketball, Ezra hears the lights in the basement flickering and goes to the top of the stairs to check it out. He's soon sent tumbling by one of Bobby's severed feet.
- Screw This, I'm Outta Here: Clyde quits after he realizes what Ezra did to Bobby.
- Smash Cut: Done when Bobby swings the crowbar at Ezra.
- The Sociopath: Ezra, natch.
- Soundtrack Dissonance: As Bobby's about to claim his vengeance, we hear pleasant organ music playing. It's both a bookend and an ironic touch, as Ezra had twice expressed disdain for Clyde playing such music.
- Staircase Tumble: What kills Bobby and later cripples Ezra, the latter caused by Bobby's severed foot.
- Step Servant: Bobby, a homeless, orphaned teenager, is sent to live with his Evil Uncle Ezra, who uses the boy as slave labor in his mortuary, verbally and physically abuses him, cripples him over a mistake, and then murders him when he starts costing too much money to keep. Bobby ultimately returns as a zombie and kills his uncle.
- Surrounded by Idiots: Ezra's point of view, except he's just a greedy, cruel man and a Bad Boss.
- This Cannot Be!: Ezra, as the undead Bobby closes in with the crowbar.
- This Is Gonna Suck:
- Bobby, when he realizes that Ezra intends to beat him with the crowbar.
- Ezra, when he sees Bobby's basketball come down the stairs and hears the lights flickering in the basement.
- Unwitting Instigator of Doom: Mr. Jeffries ordered an oak coffin for his dead son, refusing the pine coffin that was already delivered. While he just wants the best for his beloved son, this guy's complaint unknowingly leads to an enraged Ezra beating Bobby with the crowbar.
- Villain Protagonist: Ezra Thorntonberry. Being a cheap, two-faced businessman isn't the worst thing in the world, but as the episode goes on, we learn of the true depths of his cruelty and depravity, abusing his orphaned nephew Bobby, then flat out murdering him just to cut himself of any responsibility.
- Villain with Good Publicity: Ezra, thanks to his charitable and religious façade, manages to run a successful funeral business.
- Villains Want Mercy: A paralyzed Ezra pleads for someone to help him as Bobby closes in, but he doesn't get anything.
- Who Names Their Kid "Dude"?: The Crypt Keeper doesn't think much of Ezra's name.
- Would Hurt a Child: Ezra has no problems crippling and later killing his nephew.
- Wrong Genre Savvy: As the climax begins, Ezra is certain that the apparent hauntings are just his former assistant messing with him. He wishes.
Crypt Keeper: (wearing and tying the laces of Bobby's sneakers) Well, looks like old Ezra learned raising a teen is no walk in the graveyard. Now he's going to need one of his cheap coffins for himself. That's what he gets for having a name like "Ezra". As for poor Bobby, he got a pretty nasty case of athlete's foot, didn't he? I mean I've heard of footloose, but yikes! Oh, well. I guess the next best thing to making a goal is becoming a ghoul. Right, kiddies? (cackles)
