And All Through the House
The "Naughty" list isn't good enough for this.
(a door is heard opening as a gust of snow is blown into the Crypt; the door is then closed by the Crypt Keeper, wearing a Santa suit and mask and carrying a bag over his shoulder as he walks to his table)
Crypt Keeper: Ho-ho-ho, kiddies! Just your old pal, the Crypt Keeper, having a little holiday fun. Why else would I be in this getup... unless there was a Claus in my contract? (cackles) In fact, I've got some Christmas goose for you... goosebumps, that is! Yes, indeedy. A little terror tale, chock-full of holiday fear. I mean "cheer", of course. So, get a gander of a Yuletide yelp-yarn that goes a little something like this: "Twas the Night Before Christmas... And All Through the House."
On Christmas Eve, Elizabeth Cayman (Mary Ellen Trainor) attacks her husband Joseph (Marshall Bell) with a fireplace poker, caving his skull in. After putting her young daughter Carrie Ann (Lindsey Whitney Barry) to bed to keep her from seeing the aftermath, she calls her lover Vic to tell him that Joseph is dead and they can split his estate. Elizabeth drags Joseph's corpse outside in order to throw him down their well, missing a radio bulletin about an escaped mental patient dressed in a Santa Claus suit (Larry Drake) who has killed several women in the area.
Joseph revives just long enough to try to strangle Elizabeth before falling dead. As she prepares to throw him down the well, the killer attacks; Elizabeth fends him off with an icicle and an ax from the woodpile before locking herself inside the house. She calls 911, but stops upon realizing that Joseph's body is still lying outside in the snow. The killer breaks through a window to get at her again, but she knocks him unconscious with the ax and he too falls into the snow. Elizabeth learns about him and his weapon of choice through a call from the police advising her that a patrol car will be coming through the neighborhood to check on everyone.
Deciding to frame the killer for Joseph's murder, Elizabeth buries the ax's blade in Joseph's head. The front door of the house blows shut, locking her out, and she drops her keys down a storm drain, forcing her to dig Joseph's set out of his pockets in order to get back inside. While calling 911 to report the murder, she sees that both the killer and the ax are gone, realizing that Carrie Ann, who was expecting Santa to come, is in danger. She races to get Joseph's gun from the closet, but it is out of reach on the top shelf and she becomes trapped as the killer climbs toward Carrie Ann's window. Elizabeth breaks out of the closet and finds Carrie Ann standing happily alongside the killer, whom she believes to be Santa and has let inside. Elizabeth screams in horror as the killer advances slowly toward her and asks, "Naughty? Or nice?"
Tropes:
- Adaptational Badass: Not that it does her any good, but Elizabeth is far from helpless, unlike both of her contemporaries. The comic version was a complete mess, unable to hide her husband's corpse or board up the house before her daughter lets the madman in. Her film counterpart fares slightly better, but is still quickly dispatched. Here, she manages to fend off the killer a few times, and even gets the idea to pin her husband's murder by her hands on him, which neither of the other two heroines thought to do. She still dies by the end, but she definitely made the madman work for it.
- Adaptation Name Change: While the main character isn't named in the original comic storynote , she was called Joanne Clayton in the film. Her name here is Elizabeth Cayman.
- Adaptation Dye-Job: Inverted. While Joanne was black-haired in the film, Elizabeth is blonde here... just like in the original comic.
- Adaptation Expansion: More so to the film adaptation. Joseph is Carrie Ann's step-father, Elizabeth murders him to get his money and be with her lover, she also just misses the news report about the killer, which leads to her being caught off guard when he first arrives, Joseph briefly revives when Elizabeth attempts to dump his body down the well, the killer repeatedly attacks her throughout the episode, at one point smashing through the window, and a minor plot point is established by Elizabeth opening Carrie Ann's window just a crack, allowing the killer to attempt getting inside that way in the climax.
- Adaptational Villainy: Somewhat with "Santa". While in all three versions, he is a maniac who brutally murders women, the comic notes that he leaves children alone completely and only attacks men in self-defense. Here, we're given no such knowledge, and we have only the Crypt Keeper's word (and who wouldn't trust Ol' Skull Face?) that Carrie Ann made it out alive.
- Asshole Victim: It's implied that Joseph wasn't a particularly loving husband, so killing him was justifiable as far as Elizabeth was concerned. On the other hand, Elizabeth isn't the poster child of sympathetic characterization herself, as she was an adulterer, a Gold Digger, and a murderer, so her getting killed in the end is considered a double dose of karma for the unhappily married couple.
- Ax-Crazy: The deranged killer dressed as Santa Claus is a literal case, as his weapon of choice is an ax.
- The Bad Guy Wins: The killer finally gets to plant his ax in Elizabeth's head, thanks to Carrie Ann letting him inside.
- Bad Santa: Rather, a criminally insane killer in a Santa suit.
- Big "NO!": Elizabeth, after her daughter lets "Santa" in. Many, many times. In fact, not only are they her last words, but they're the closing lines of the episode.
- Cat Scare: Elizabeth nearly jumps when the phone rings, just before the killer tries to strangle her.
- Children Are Innocent: Upon seeing a deranged man in a Santa suit trying to break into her house, Carrie Ann willingly lets him inside, thinking that he's the real Santa. This act seals her mother's fate.
- Christmas Episode: The only one set on the holiday proper.
- Coincidental Broadcast: Averted. The radio was broadcasting in the background well before the killer's warning was broadcast. Unfortunately, Elizabeth was heading out the door just as the news of his escape was being reported, so she completely missed it.
- Dramatic Irony: If the Crypt Keeper is to be believed, Carrie Ann was never in any danger from "Santa"; Elizabeth could've survived long enough for the cops to show up had she stayed in the closet.
- Dumb Blonde: As soon as the killer makes his appearance, Elizabeth's intellect plummets, making one idiotic decision after the next. She's still smarter than either her comic or film counterpart, though.
- Early-Installment Weirdness: Inverted: the Crypt Keeper was more subdued in Season 1 compared to the later seasons... and yet it's this episode that sees him show up in a Santa costume, admittedly for his own amusement.
- "Eureka!" Moment: After being informed over the phone that the killer's weapon is an ax, Elizabeth suddenly realizes (as she's holding it to defend herself after knocking the killer out with it) she can make him a scapegoat for Joseph's murder.
- Even Evil Has Loved Ones: If there's anything good that can be said about Elizabeth, its that she genuinely cares about her daughter.
- Even Evil Has Standards: If the words of the Crypt Keeper are anything to go by, "Santa" is a Friend to All Children who leaves Carrie Ann unharmed.
- Evil Versus Evil: On one end, we have Elizabeth, who kills her husband with a fire poker immediately after the opening credits disappear. On the other end, we have "Santa", an escaped Ax-Crazy Serial Killer.
- Foreshadowing: Carrie Ann's excitement for Santa to come plays heavily into the ending of the episode. Elizabeth also opens her daughter's window a smidge to let some air in, allowing a route for "Santa" to get in.
- Friend to All Children: According to the Crypt Keeper, the serial killer Santa is one, as he's said to leave Carrie Ann unharmed.
- Giggling Villain: For most of the episode, the killer is laughing like a looney bird while swinging his ax to try and kill Elizabeth. Subverted in the end, where he delivers a chilling Pre-Mortem One-Liner.
- Jump Scare: At one point, Elizabeth turns around, only to run into a criminally-insane Santa wielding an ax.
- Karma Houdini: The killer is one of the few villains to get what he wants and not get any comeuppance, though one assumes he was recaptured when the police arrived a few minutes later.
- Mood Whiplash: The episode opens on a peaceful and tranquil scene of a living room decorated for Christmas, with "The Christmas Song" playing in the background. As soon as the opening credits end, Elizabeth kills her husband with a fire poker.
- Mythology Gag:
- The local county is named "Gaines" after William M. Gaines, publisher of EC Comics.
- The Crypt Keeper dressing up as Santa, complete with a mask, is a nod to the comic: the joke of the comic's wraparound segment was that it appeared that Santa was telling the story, only for it to be revealed at the end that it was the Vault Keeper in costume. Here, the Crypt Keeper forgoes all pretense and admits straight up he's in costume for "a little holiday fun".
- At one point, the killer breaks through a window to try and strangle Elizabeth, though she fends him off. In the 1972 film, the killer kills Joanne Clayton in this exact manner.
- Not His Sled: Inverted. At first, it looks like that the killer is going to get in through Carrie Ann's window, but the last scene implies he slipped off the ladder and was just let in through the back door.
- Not Quite Dead: Just as Elizabeth prepares to throw Joseph's body down the well in her backyard, he briefly springs to life and tries to strangle her, but dies for real shortly after.
- Pre-Mortem One-Liner: The only words the killer says during the entire episode, right as he's about to go in for the kill: "Naughty? Or nice?"
- The Scapegoat: Forced to call the police, Elizabeth starts thinking that she can blame Joseph's murder on the escaped maniac in the Santa suit.
- Shout-Out: Joseph reads A Christmas Carol by the fire, apparently thinking very little of the line "God bless us, everyone."
- Something We Forgot: The Crypt Keeper assures us that the killer didn't harm Carrie Ann.
- Tempting Fate: "What are you, deaf? I said let me have it!" Elizabeth promptly caves his skull in with the fire poker he asked for, just after he says these words.
- Too Dumb to Live: While Elizabeth does deserve credit for making sure to prop open the front door as she goes to bury the killer's ax in Joseph's head, she also loses said credit for using an umbrella stand that's easily toppled over by a swift breeze.
- Unwitting Instigator of Doom: Carrie Ann letting the serial killer inside the house, due to her seeing him in a Santa Claus suit, directly leads to her mother's death.
- Wham Line: Carrie Ann to her mother Elizabeth, regarding "Santa Claus" outside their house trying get inside:Carrie Ann: (bringing the killer into the room) See, mommy? I told you Santa would come! And he didn't even have to come down the chimney! I let him in!
Crypt Keeper: (having discarded his Santa suit and clutching the killer's ax) Well, how was that for a scream, boys and ghouls? Oh, don't worry about little Carrie. This particular Santa preferred older women... in pieces, that is! (cackles) Well, it just goes to show ya: be very careful of what you ax for for Christmas. You might just get it! (cackles)
