Airdate: Monday, April 21, 2008
Sender: PB, Over the Hills
PB writes Strong Bad to ask him what kind of free prizes he would put in specially-marked "cerial" boxes.
Strong Bad's first pointer is to avoid cereals whose name includes "anything grown in Iowa", be it corn, wheat, oats, hogs, or fundamentally-sound college basketball players. The only prizes included in boxes of that stuff are health-conscious items, like a pedometer or a defibrillator. Strong Bad instead advises buying cereals with sound effects in the name, such as Fruit Smax, Chocolate Breakfast Candy Bar Pops, Soundy Puffs, Blue Laser Blasts, and Sugar-Rittled Gunshots in a Crowded Mall.
Strong Bad also advises viewers to steer clear of "the three most useless letters in the specially marked alphabet: U-P-C". Any prize that requires sending in boxtops or UPCs is not worth the hassle of having to buy extra boxes, cutting off the bar codes, and bugging your mother to pay for shipping and handling "if she's back from Vegas."
Finally, Strong Bad goes on a brief rant about cereals lazy enough to "try and pass off the back of the box as some kind of prize" by including masks, mazes, and/or word search puzzles on the back, saying that only total dorks who were "real easy to beat up" were interested in such alleged "fun-tivities". As if on cue, Homestar shows up wearing a Crack Stuntman mask from the back of a box of Cheat Commandos-Os.
Strong Bad: You know what kind of toys I'd put in specially marked boxes?
Homestar: Yes.
Strong Bad: Anything heavy and pointy enough to do lasting damage to the face (pulls a die-cast chainsaw car out of a box of "Sweet Deals" cereal and hits Homestar in the face with it, knocking him over)
Homestar: Wah!
Tropes:
- Asbestos-Free Cereal: The box of "Soundy Puffs" cereal boasts "Real sounds in every puff!"
- Bizarre Human Biology: The brief x-ray of Strong Bad's brain shows that it has horns and a leering eye.
- Black Comedy Burst: The last of the sound effect cereals that Strong Bad lists is "Gunshots in a Crowded Mall".
- Bread, Eggs, Milk, Squick: Strong Bad's favorite cereals are ones with sound effects in the name, such as "Smacks, pops, puffs, blasts, and, um, gunshots in a crowded mall."
- Breathless Non Sequitur: Strong Bad's brief rant about UPC bar codes includes the implication that his mom was a compulsive gambler.Strong Bad: This means not only are they gonna make you buy several more boxes that you have to cut the bar codes off of, but you're also gonna have to involve your mom so she can write a check for the shipping and handling if she's back from Vegas! The nerve of those cereals! You leave my mom out of this!
- Competition Coupon Madness: Strong Bad really doesn't like cereals that make you cut off and mail in tons of box tops or UPC codes just to get a crappy prize. The only thing he hates more are cereals that don't even bother with a Free Prize at the Bottom.
- Continuity Nod:
- One of the cereals is "Sugar-Frosted Cheat Commandos-Os Sugar Cereal", which features a Crack Stuntman mask on the back.
- Strong Bad pulls out a die-cast toy version of the chainsaw car from "what I want".
- The Riverquest Safariventure makes another appearance in a Cutaway Gag.
- Chocolate-Frosted Sugar Bombs: Strong Bad advocates cereals with sound effects in the name and loads of marshmallows as ones that usually have a good prize.
- Cutaway Gag: Strong Bad bragging he's a "lame sandal-wearing hippie" with experience navigating "the class-5 rapids of specially-marked ceral box fake-outs" is followed by a brief scene where Strong Bad leads the Cheat on a faux river-rafting experience.Strong Bad: Okay guys, I'm gonna need everybody to lean hard to the right!
- Escalating Punchline: Strong Bad complains about cereals that have activities printed on the back of the box instead of toys. He specifically mentions cut-out cardboard masks, mazes, and word searches—and we're shown a mask, a maze inside a mask, and a word search inside a maze inside a mask.
- Free Prize at the Bottom: The main focus of the email. For the record, Strong Bad's cereal prize of choice is anything that can cause lasting damage to Homestar's face.
- Inadvertent Entrance Cue: Strong Bad mocks the kinds of kids who were actually interested in "fun-tivities" on the back of the cereal box, and right on cue Homestar shows up wearing a Crack Stuntman mask.
- Literal Metaphor: Strong Bad says that he's wanted to give cereal box prizes a piece of his mind... and then indicates the specific piece he'd like to give.
- Metaphorgotten: "Well before you get the toys inside, you first have to navigate the treacherous, jaggedy-rock-filled class-5 rapids of specially marked cereal box fake outs! Luckily, I'm a lame sandal-wearing hippie with a ponytail that's been down these rapids with groups of tourists many times."
- Rhetorical Question Blunder: This exchange between Strong Bad and Homestar.Strong Bad: You know what kind of toys I'd put in specially-marked boxes?
Homestar: Yes. - Shout-Out:
- Strong Bad sings "Hey ho, Strong Bad!" to the tune of "Blitzkrieg Bop" by The Ramones.
- There's an Every Step U Take-brand pedometer.
- Tie-In Cereal: Invoked. "Blue Laser Blasts", as a part of Strong Bad recommending buying cereals with sound effects in their names.
(New Paper comes down)
