Airdate: Monday, December 3, 2007
Sender: Molly T., Charlotte N.C.
Molly from "Charlotte, Not Charlotte" ("Woah, it's like you're no place!") has to construct a "crappy, really stupid diorama" for a school project, and asks Strong Bad if he has any tips on making said diorama "bloody and gory", but also "middle school appropriate".
Strong Bad also feels that, as "the only school-approved opportunity to melt small plastic animals and shame our beloved literary characters that you're ever gonna get", dioramas can actually be fun under the right circumstances. "I say embrace it! I say deface it!"
Strong Bad's first tip is that "behind every good diorama is an even gooder shoebox", so if Molly really wants to impress with this diorama, she should construct it out of the box for a pair of "the coolest, most expensive shoes on the market". If she's unable to score such expensive shoes, Molly can at least "modify a box of cheapo, generico shoes to look expensive."
The next thing to consider is the class that the diorama is for. If it's for science, you can just glue some cotton balls together to make "The Effects of Cumulonimbus Clouds on Sheep, Snowmen, and... Cotton Balls." And if you're out of cotton balls, you can simply substitute "real chunks of the King of Town's beard".
If it's a history diorama, "there's only one way to go: presidential assassinations", like a reproduction of "the robot that effortlessly offed Jimmy Carter" done with clothespins and a toilet paper roll. If the diorama is for a book report, Strong Bad suggests making up your own book, like he did with books one through seven of "The King of Town's Adventures in Giant Cockroachland". Though thanks to the Internet, you may need to cover your bases by making up websites for the book, the author, and the publisher, or even writing the book yourself.
The Cheat: (walking past with the Lappy) (agreeing The Cheat noises)
As for blood and gore, dinosaurs always make a great loophole.
After Strong Bad grows inspired by the grizzly scene he's created, and takes the time to have Peanut Strong Bad attack Nicholas Trist with a plastic cocktail sword, he decides to wrap things up.
(cut to the green diorama, with Peanut Strong Bad and the Toilet Paper Robot attacking a clothespin James Buchanan)
Strong Bad: Come on, Boltotron! Hit him with the Byoo-Cannon!
(A cardboard tube with "BYOO-CANNON" written on the side and a pen light stuck in one end drops from above)
Strong Bad: (making laser gun sounds as the pen light flashes) Byoo byo-byoo byoo byo-byo-byoo!
(New Paper comes down)
Tropes:
- Artistic License – History: Strong Bad's "historical dioramas" include Jimmy Carter getting assassinated by a robot, and a dinosaur attack interrupting the signing of the Treaty of Guadalupe Hidalgo.
- ...And 99¢: An Easter egg advertises the "All new 2008 Air Cardgage! Only 249.99.99.99!"
- Bloody Hilarious: The "chunks of the King of Town's beard" (used to replace cotton balls if you don't have any) are covered in blood. It is revealed that much of the King of Town's beard had been gruesomely ripped off of his face, though he seems oddly unfazed about it.
- Continuity Nod: Strong Bad reintroduces Peanut Strong Bad.
- Embarrassing Nickname: Strong Bad suggests you avoid using a cheap shoe-box for your diorama "Unless you wanna get called the Stride-Rite Kid for the rest of your life..."
- Extreme Omnivore: The King of Town cops to eating all of Strong Bad's cotton balls.
- Fake–Real Turn: Strong Bad remarks that it's gotten harder to fake books for book reports, to the point one has to not only make fake websites, but also actually write the fake book.
- Parody Commercial: A commercial for "Air Cardgage" shoes is seen in an Easter egg.
- Phoney Call: An Easter egg has Coach Z pretending to call "Ronmartin Realdude" on a cellphone that's clearly a doodle of a cellphone on a notepad.
- Ridiculous Procrastinator: Strong Bad remarks that for a truly crappy diorama, "No sense in thinking about this one until you're on the bus on the way to school the morning it's due."
- Suspiciously Specific Denial: The page about Ronmartin Realdude, supposed author of "The King of Town's Adventures in Giant Cockroachland", reads "I'm a best-selling author and I am NOT a cat!!"
Senor Cardgage: Oh. Hello-quialism. (looks at what he's holding) Who are these guys?
Announcer: All new 2008 Air Cardgage! Only 249.99.99.99! Only at Styles Upon Styles!
Senor Cardgage: This is not what I sagged on for! (these words appear in a word balloon next to his head)
Coach Z: Well hey there, Ronmartin Realdude. It's the big Z, just giving you a call on my new cell phone. What's that you say? Well I sure am flattered, Ronmartin, but I've already got a gorgeous girlfriend name o' Marzipan.
