Airdate: Monday, January 29, 2007
Sender: Lewis Rudkin
Essex, England
Strong Bad: (singing) I'm doin' a party, I'm makin' it happen, on Strong Bad Email.
Lewis Rudkin of Essex, England asks Strong Bad if he can either throw The Cheat as far as he can, or beat the crud out of Homestar for no reason. As it so happens, those are the first two events in the 2007 "Strong Badathlon", which include:
- The Cheat Chuck, which is "consistently dominated by the Kenyans. I mean the Poopsmith," thanks to the Poopsmith's "Whatsitburied Slop".
- The Greco-Roman Homestar Crud-Out-Of Beating, where Strong Bad is bested by an opponent who has intimate knowledge of Homestar Runner's weak points... namely, Homestar himself.Homestar: (while punching and slapping himself) Whaddya think this is, you little placemat? A diaper show? It's not a diaper show. I think that's fairly obvious!
- The Remote Put, which apparently involves throwing the remote as far as possible while reacting to annoying stuff on TV such as "cute little girl from sitcom sings patriotic song". Unfortunately, Strong Bad gets disqualified for throwing so hard the batteries fall out, despite his protests that the East Germans set him up.
- The Clean and Jerk Strong Mad's Underwears Over His Head ("fortunately, you don't really have to clean them"), which Strong Bad passes on when he insists Strong Mad "already has a wedgie of illegal proportions".
- And finally, Strong Bad's best event, "Probably Something with Guitars, Lasers, Robots, and Hot Girls"... which is rather obviously a crude Powered By The Cheat cartoon in which Strong Bad shoots lasers at robots and shows off his "good medal" to a hot girl, and The Cheat plays a guitar solo.
After the "ending closimonies", which involve Marzipan and Strong Sad twirling ribbons and a tap-dancing Homestar, we are treated to the fate of all BadAthletes: "filming product endorsements while their names are still fresh in our minds."
Tropes:
- Blatant Lies: The final event, depicted in "Powered By The Cheat" style, is Strong Bad's strongest event, "Probably Something With Guitars, Lasers, Robots, and Hot Girls".
- Buffy Speak: "Greco-Roman Homestar Crud-Out-Of Beating" is the name of one event.
- Call-Back: Cherry Greg, director of the "First Time Here?" video and Fluffy Puff Commercial, wins the Remote Put.
- Camera Abuse: The Cheat ends up splattering "whatsit" on the "camera lens" after being thrown by the Poopsmith.
- Cousin Oliver: Strong Bad's prompt for the Remote Put is "cute little girl from sitcom sings patriotic song".Strong Bad: Dargh, I freakin' hate that little kid! Why'd they ever bring her on the show?!
- Escalating Punchline: The fourth event is "the Clean and Jerk... Strong Mad's Underwears... Over His Head. Fortunately, you don't really have to clean them."
- Kicking My Own Butt: Homestar participates in the "Greco-Roman Homestar Crud-Out-Of Beating" event. He even wins.
- Orphaned Punchline: During the "Cheat Chuck" segment, it cuts to Marzipan telling Homsar "...And that's why I believe the DNA evidence has been tampered with."
- Our Slogan Is Terrible: At the end, Strong Bad does a plug for "Temporarios: 'Cuz I'm Don't Get Paid!"
- Parody Commercial: Strong Bad films a commercial for "Temporarios" cereal that pokes fun at celebrity endorsements.
- Portmanteau: "Closimonies" appears to be a shortened version of "closing ceremonies", though this makes "ending closimonies" redundant.
- Pseudolympics: The eponymous Strong Badathlon is a parody of the Olympic Games.
- Reading the Stage Directions Out Loud: Strong Bad wipes his brow while muttering "Wipe my brow," at the start of the Temporaros commercial.
- Shout-Out: Strong Bad describes the Strong Badathlon as "Someteen Days of Glory", a reference to Sixteen Days of Glory, a documentary on the 1984 Olympic Games.
- Tantrum Throwing: The "Remote Put" event measures how far participants can throw a remote control in frustration at annoying things on television.
- Toilet Humor: The Poopsmith's new Cheat-chucking technique, the "Whatsitburied Slop", is exactly what it sounds like; the Poopsmith flings The Cheat a great distance after burying him in "whatsit".Homsar: Well, hello, chocolate cake!
Strong Bad: Wipe my brow! Winning gold medals takes a lot of hard cereal, and dedication. That's why I eat Temporarios, the official cereal of athletes you won't remember in two weeks! Temporarios: "Cuz I'm Don't Get Paid!"
(The Paper comes down.)
(The Paper comes down.)
