Airdate: Monday, November 13, 2006
Sender: Spanky elgrondo N.Y.
Strong Bad: (singing) Start your day the Sbemail way, and never get out of bed!
A fan from "Nueva York" wants to know what the stupidest thing Homestar has ever said, done, or imagined is.
Strong Bad: Well, my good Spank, that is way too broad a subject and would take several days just to scratch the surface of the tip of that iceberg. Especially the "imagined" part. That one has its own spreadsheet, even.
Strong Bad decides it's time to introduce viewers to the Four Branches of Stupid Things Homestar's Done:
- The House of Doing Stupid Things on National Television, which is "in charge of keeping the public informed" and includes the time Homestar was both host and guest on "his own 'You're a Bad Boyfriend' talk show", the Show AM.
- The Bureau of Doing Stupid Things at the Office, where Strong Bad is distracted from his job of dealing with "phone tree survivors" trying to reset their passwords when Homestar somehow gets stuck in the water cooler.
- The Joint Sub-Committee on So-Stupid-It's-Smart-itites where, much like getting a high enough score on a video game can reset it back to zero, Homestar occasionally goofs up so much he actually does something intelligent, like reciting Coulomb's Law when asked "What's two plus two?"
- The Boudoir of Doing Stupid Things While Inside a College Mascot Costume, "the most powerful branch", where Homestar's attempt at moving into his Jolly Dumple Costume ends explosively when he ignores Coach Z's warnings about it being made from "flame pro-tardant polymascotfoamalate" (which, in Old-Timey days, was apparently used to make baby food and sour cream).
Strong Bad: (patriotic music starts playing) So there you have it! Now it's up to you to make your own informed decisions about the stupidest things Homestar's done. Get involved, write a letter to your local Homestarman, or throw a trash can through a plate-glass window!
Homestar Runner: (singing) And that's how I become a laaaw! (fireworks appear) Ptoo! Ptoo! Ptoo!
(The Paper comes down.)
Homestar Runner: (singing) And that's how I become a laaaw! (fireworks appear) Ptoo! Ptoo! Ptoo!
(The Paper comes down.)
Tropes:
- Achievements in Ignorance: "The Joint Sub-Committee on So Stupid It's Smart-ities", which includes reciting Coloumb's Law after being asked "What's two plus two?"
- Beyond the Impossible: Homestar stuck in the watercooler.
- The Cake Is a Lie: During the "Stupid Things at the Office" segment, Homestar gets Strong Bad's attention with the promise of "free bagels".Strong Bad: Aw, man, this isn't free bagels!
Homestar: No, but it is free...ing Homestar from the water cooler. That's pretty sweet. - Comically Missing the Point: All Homestar can remember about "polymascotfoamalate" is from an old propaganda cartoon about it, so he ignores Coach Z's warnings about it being "flame pro-tardant".
- Continuity Nod:
- Dirty Communists: Rumble Red, the alien from the Old-Timey cartoon segment, is called a "Commonist fool" by The Homestar Runner.
- For Inconvenience, Press "1": Anyone who "survives" the Phone Tree when calling the office is directed to Strong Bad, who has no intention of actually helping.
- Made of Explodium: Homestar finds out the hard way that starting a campfire in a costume made out of "flame pro-tardant polymascotfoamalate" is a bad idea.
- Malaproper: Homestar cheerfully says "Ooh, I'm a neglected official" when his head appears on a picture of the Capitol Building.
- Mixed Metaphor: Strong Bad claims that regarding the stupidest thing Homestar's done, said, or imagined, "[It] would take several days just to scratch the surface of the tip of that iceberg."
- Noodle Incident:
- How exactly did Homestar wind up stuck in a water cooler? All we know is that the story starts with him in Barbados hanging a picture on the wall.Strong Bad: Okay, that tells me everything I need to know.
- An Easter Egg showing the spreadsheet for stupid things Homestar's imagined mentions "A Great Idea for Personal Style: Mongolian beef wig".
- While three of the branches are pretty broad, the fourth implies that Homestar has done many, many stupid things while in a college mascot costume.
- How exactly did Homestar wind up stuck in a water cooler? All we know is that the story starts with him in Barbados hanging a picture on the wall.
- Orphaned Punchline: The "Joint Sub-Committee on So Stupid It's Smart-ities" sequence opens with Homestar telling Strong Sad "...Awash with flavor!"
- Overflow Error: Referenced when Strong Bad talks about Homestar's occasional Genius Ditz moments:Strong Bad: You know how in video games, if you get the super-duper high score, it eventually flips back to zero? Well, sometimes Homestar does something so stupid, he flips back to smart.
- Perfectly Cromulent Word: Even without what happens next, it's easy to infer that "protardant" means the opposite of "retardant" (agent to slow something down). In other words, polymascotfoamalate isn't just flammable; it's an accelerant
. - Running Gag: The soapbox from "fingers" makes another appearance, this time reading "FOURTEEN TIMES".
- Saying Sound Effects Out Loud: Homestar makes "Ptoo! Ptoo!" noises to accompany the fireworks at the end.
- Shout-Out:
- "The Show AM" is a parody of sensationalist daytime talk shows like The Jerry Springer Show and Maury.
- At the end, Strong Bad advises viewers to "Get involved, write a letter to your local Homestarman, or throw a trash can through a plate-glass window!" and Homestar sings "And that's how I become a laaaaaw!"
- Super Not-Drowning Skills: Homestar doesn't seem particularly worried about running out of air while stuck in a water cooler.
- Suspiciously Specific Denial: Homestar says to himself "Moving into this mascot costume was probably the coolest and least locking-myself-out-of-my-house-enest decision I ever made!"
- Unusual Euphemism: After Strong Bad's failed attempt to get him out of the water cooler, Homestar exclaims "Sweet genius, that hurt!"
(Cut to Rumble Red on a rocky alien planet, talking with the animated versions of Limozeen from "Limozeen: But They're In Space!")
Rumble Red: Oh, but Limozeen-in-space-lings. They don't have hot blonde groupies with high bangs on my planet... eh, rumble...
Larry: (strokes his own hair) That's 'cause you don't have polyhairsprayteasealate!
Mary: And you're a communist fool! (takes a bite out of a tentacle in a hot dog bun)
Rumble Red: Oh, but Limozeen-in-space-lings. They don't have hot blonde groupies with high bangs on my planet... eh, rumble...
Larry: (strokes his own hair) That's 'cause you don't have polyhairsprayteasealate!
Mary: And you're a communist fool! (takes a bite out of a tentacle in a hot dog bun)
