Airdate: Monday, August 8, 2005
Sender(s): Lorenzo and Fillbert, Fabrosi
Strong Bad gets a request for advice on "lady...ing" from "two desperate losers who could never get any ladies" ("Oooh, something I would not openly admit.") claiming to be his second and third best friends ever.
Strong Bad also claims to have already answered that very question 5 or 6 years ago, back in "the first email I ever checked", and has the Cheat come in with a Laserdisc to show off "that beautiful e-mail footage".
The Cheat's playin' something on a Laserdisc
Everything's better on Laserdisc
Whatever happened to the Laserdisc?
Laserdisc! (the song ends as he and The Cheat touch hands)
We then cut to a flashback done entirely in the style of "Marshmallow's Last Stand", where the self-proclaimed "Ramblin' Wreck of E-mail Check" Strong Bad pops up in the wrestling ring to check an e-mail from "one of you stupid idiots!" Strong Bad gets an e-mail from his "first best friend ever" Fabrosi asking for advice on "lady...ing".
Strong Bad's first step is to look as much like him as possible: "Take off your shirt, sand off your nipples, and wear tight pants that accentuate all your suppleties." He also advises splashing on some "finest Mongolian aftershave lotion" (actually gasoline) just to be sure, as he attempts to demonstrate with Marzipan.
Homestar: Uh, Strong Bad, why do you smell like a garage?
Marzipan: Me too!
Strong Bad takes the opportunity to beat up Homestar for his smart mouth, while also showing how you can impress the ladies with "muscular wrestling moves off the top rope". When Marzipan remains unimpressed, Strong Bad suggests bringing in "your cute baby brother" (Strong Sad, who is immediately dropped down a trap-door without getting a word in) or your "holy-crap adorable pet". While The Cheat tries his best to be cute, he just makes Strong Bad smell like "a garage with a litter box in it".
Finally, Strong Bad brings out the big guns in the form of "a candlelit dinner with caviar burritos and finest cigars." Unfortunately, the combination of a lit cigar and "finest Mongolian aftershave lotion" just results in Strong Bad's head exploding.
Marzipan: Yeah, me too!
Strong Bad: Holy crap...
Homestar: I'm a star! (triumphantly leaps into a freeze-frame on an orange background as "THE END" appears)
Back at the desk, we find Strong Bad's reaction to this "blast from the past" is to fall asleep at his desk. But don't worry, he totally remembered what he was doing.
(Strong Bad gets up and leaves. After a beat, the camera pans right to see Strong Bad having fallen asleep again, his head resting on the desk next to the Lappy. The Paper comes down.)
Tropes:
- Anvil on Head: In the old e-mail, Strong Bad throws an anvil at a heckler in the audience.
- Art Shift: The "old" e-mail is done in the style of the super-early Homestar Runner Flash cartoons like "Marshmallow's Last Stand", "The King of Town", and "A Jumping Jack Contest".
- Behind the Black: Strong Bad walks away from the Lappy at the end of the email, like he usually does. Then the camera pans right to show he passed out again.
- Buffy Speak: The senders of this email ask Strong Bad for advice on "lady...ing".
- Chekhov's Gun: Strong Bad's decision to use gasoline as cologne backfires when he tries to light a cigar at the end.
- Continuity Snarl: According to this email, Strong Bad was answering emails since 2000, and in the wrestling ring from "Marshmallow's Last Stand".
- Cordon Bleugh Chef: Strong Bad's idea of fancy dining is "caviar burritos".
- Disco Dan: Strong Bad literally sings the praises of the Laserdisc format.Strong Bad: The Cheat's playin' something on a Laserdisc
Everything's better on Laserdisc
Whatever happened to the Laserdisc?
Laserdisc! - Formula-Breaking Episode: Nearly the whole e-mail is a throwback/deconstruction/parody of the very first Homestar Runner cartoons.
- Instantly Proven Wrong: Strong Bad boasts that the ladies can't resist his "muscular wrestling moves". When he does a turnbuckle drop onto Homestar, Marzipan quips "Ooh, that's resistible."
- Malaproper: An Easter egg shows Homestar trying to put Strong Bad's ladying advice into practice, bragging to Marzipan "I'm wearing tight pants that accentuate all of my bubble teas."
- Puppy-Dog Eyes: The Cheat's Black Bead Eyes become big blue eyes when he tries to be "holy-crap adorable".
- Retroactive Legacy: Strong Bad presents "the first email I ever checked", which takes place before the events of the real first email and is even done in the early crude style the Brothers Chaps used.
- Self-Deprecation: The flashback portion of the episode is a parody of older Homestar cartoons such as Marshmallow's Last Stand, complete with crude character designs, jerky animation, Homestar having his old whinier voice, Strong Bad having his old gruff voice with a quasi-Hispanic accent (and using "Holy crap!" every other sentence), and Marzipan having an extremely flat personality. The old email is bad enough to make Strong Bad fall asleep from sheer boredom.
- Shout-Out:
- Strong Bad asks The Cheat to "roll that beautiful e-mail footage", a nod to an ad for Bush's Baked Beans that featured the line "Roll that beautiful bean footage!"
- Strong Bad is introduced as "The Rambling Wreck of E-mail Check", a nod to the fight song for Georgia Tech (which is located in the Brothers' Chaps home city of Atlanta).
- Spoof Aesop: At the end of the "old" email, Homestar admonishes Strong Bad by telling him "What the luscious ladies really want is a guy that still has a face and head."
- Stylistic Suck: The animation in the flashback is fairly crude, in emulation of the early cartoons on the Homestar Runner website.
- Waking Non Sequitur: After waking up from the email, Strong Bad seems to have forgotten who he was talking to and what he was talking about.Strong Bad: So yeah, Danny. Now's a great time to plant cucumbers! Stocks are up, stipes are down.
- Your Head A-Splode: Strong Bad learns the hard way that "Finest Mongolian aftershave" (read: gasoline) and cigars don't mix when his head bursts into flame and falls apart.
Homestar: So, ladytype, I'm wearin' tight pants (shakes a leg) that accentuate all my bubble teas.
Marzipan: Have I broken up with you yet?
Homestar: Yeah, a couple times.
