Friends, Tau Cygnians, colonists... lend me your ears!
Original air date: October 2, 1989
Data is about to play violin in a string quartet, but out of a sense of honesty, he warns Picard and Crusher beforehand that they won't enjoy his performance because he lacks "soul." Picard tells him that too much honesty isn't necessarily a good thing in a leader. But just as Data begins, Picard is pulled away to the bridge.
The Enterprise receives a message from the Sheliak, a rigid and merciless nonhumanoid species, insisting that all humans be removed from a planet that the Sheliak have the legal right to colonize. The Federation has no record of a colony there—there's radiation that would normally be lethal to humans—but it turns out that, about a century ago, a colony ship went off course and ended up there. After losing a third of their number, the colonists adapted to the radiation, settled in, and by now have grown to a population of more than fifteen thousand.
The crew scramble to find some way to offload that many people within the few days that the Sheliak have given them. La Forge struggles to find a way to make their transporters work in the planet's radiation, but even with transporters, they won't have enough time to beam that many people aboard. Picard tries to reason with the Sheliak but finds them committed to the exact terms of their treaty - if they find any humans on the planet when they arrive, they will eradicate them.
Meanwhile, Data journeys down to the surface to prepare the colonists for evacuation in some form or another. To his surprise, the colony's leader, Gosheven, rejects the idea of abandoning the colony that their ancestors sacrificed so much to build. But Data does find one sympathetic colonist in Ard'rian, an attractive young robotics enthusiast, who quickly takes both a professional and personal shine to the android. Data struggles to find some way to convince the colonists to save their skins, but Gosheven is simply more persuasive. Finally Ard'rian convinces Data to use Reverse Psychology, and he reasons, "Too much honesty can be a bad thing." However, even that ploy only manages to bring a handful of colonists to his side, and Goshoven crashes their meeting, assaulting Data with a tool that knocks him out with a burst of electricity.
In the ship, Picard has decided to intercept the Sheliak colony ship, but they continue insisting that the Federation obey every letter of the treaty. Picard starts studying the treaty to find some loophole to abuse, but it's 500,000 words long, so that's a big undertaking. As La Forge's transporter experiments flounder, it's their only hope. Eventually, Picard invokes a section of the treaty outlining the arbitration of disputes. As is his right, Picard nominates as arbiters the Grizzelas, who won't awaken from their hibernation for another six months. The Sheliak reluctantly agree to wait three weeks to avoid arbitration.
On the planet, Ard'rian manages to awaken Data. Goshoven's assault on him has convinced him that actions speak louder than words, so he decides to resort to extreme action. He attacks the colony's aqueduct, easily stunning all of the colony's local defenders before blowing it up with his hand phaser, showing just how defenseless the colony is to a Sheliak attack. The colonists are finally convinced that staying and fighting would be pointless suicide and agree to evacuate. Before leaving, Ard'rian tries to see if Data has any romantic feelings for her at all, but he admits that he has no feelings whatsoever.
With a colony transport ship on its way, and the colonists preparing to leave, the Enterprise is free to leave. Picard listens to a recording of Data's violin performance and notes that his fusion of disparate artistic interpretations of the music shows real creativity. Data admits that he has become more creative when necessary.
Tropes in this episode include:
- An Aesop: Data spells it out for Gosheven when pointing to their beloved aqueduct: "This is just a thing, and things can be replaced. Lives cannot."
- Appeal to Force: Played with (it manages to avoid becoming a Logical Fallacy because of the way it's used). Data initially tries persuasion to get the colonists to agree to leave, but his efforts are stymied until Gosheven finally loses patience and shocks him unconscious. Upon waking up, Data realizes that he needs to show the colonists what their stubbornness will earn them, so he fixes his phaser and uses it to destroy the pumping station. He then explains that if one android with a phaser can cause so much trouble, thousands of Sheliak and their starships will do far worse.
- Artistic License – Law: In real life, no arbitration clause in any treaty, ever, gives one party the unilateral right to decide who the arbitrator should be, as Picard does at the end of the episode. Perhaps justified in this case, as the treaty involved truly alien beings that don’t think as humans do, or the treaty contained a list of pre-approved arbitrators. In either case, Picard's threat of arbitration has less to do with the parties involved than his willingness to exploit it as a stalling tactic, betting the Sheliak will make a concession of time to avoid an even greater delay.
- Badass Bureaucrat: Picard buys the time necessary to evacuate the colony not by fighting the Sheliak (though he's willing to if it comes to that), but by using their own treaty against them, turning the tables so effectively that the Sheliak have no choice but to acquiesce.
- Batman Gambit: Data has Ard'rian tell Gosheven about his plan to destroy the aqueduct, knowing that this will make Gosheven mount a defense, allowing Data to prove just how outmatched the colonists would be against the Sheliak.
- Beware the Nice Ones: Data tries to be diplomatic with Gosheven and others, but he repeatedly gets nowhere. Ultimately, he decides to use actions instead of words to get his point across.
- Blue-and-Orange Morality: Discussed by Picard and Troi. The Sheliak have radically different thought processes from humans, and Troi points out that in general the fact that different species can communicate with each other at all is fairly remarkable.
- Bothering by the Book: The Sheliak constantly stand on the exact wording of their very long peace treaty with the Federation, only bending when Picard finds a loophole to abuse.
- Brick Joke: As described below, Geordi, O'Brien and Wesley spend the episode trying to figure out a way to beam up the people from the planet in an attempt to speed up the evacuation and only having increasingly less mangled transported metal tubes to show for it. By the time the immediate threat has passed with the colonists having been given enough time to wait for the Federation transport ship, Geordi reports in and tells Picard that they've figured out a solution for their problem, but states that it'll take at least 15 years and 100 Federation scientists to accomplish, at which point Picard tells him to put the plan on hold for now.
- Brutal Honesty: Before the concert, Data tells Picard and Crusher up front that his co-chairs have described his playing as without feeling; Picard points out that too much honesty isn't always a good thing, especially from a commander.
- Cassandra Truth: Data faces an uphill battle trying to get the colonists to understand that the Sheliak are a dire threat.
- Comically Wordy Contract: The Sheliaks are a nonhumanoid race who thinks of humans as lesser life forms. Their language is so complex that humans can't learn it, so when writing a treaty the Sheliak insisted on an absurd level of precision to remove any possible ambiguity with the English language. The treaty is half a million words long and took 372 Federation lawyers to write.
- Curb-Stomp Battle: Data finally overcomes the colonists' pride by demonstrating that one android with a hand phaser can seriously wreck their equipment, then stating that the Sheliak are packing much bigger weapons and will blow them away from orbit without a second thought.Data: [shoots four guards] That was the stun setting. This is not. [vaporizes the water in miles of pipeline with one shot]
- Didn't See That Coming: The crew knew there were humans on the planet, but not that there are 15,253 of them, expecting a few dozen at most.
- Drama-Preserving Handicap:
- The show keeps Data down on the planet, as with him on the ship he'd have scanned the entire treaty in a flash and solved the problem instantly.
- And on the inverse, Data alone must convince the colonists to go along with the evacuation plan as the Tau Cygna Five as the planet's atmopshere is filled with hyperonic radiation which is fatal to everyone on the ship apart from Data, since he's an android.
- Easily Swayed Population: The colonists on Tau Cygna V bounce back and forth between supporting Gosheven or Data depending on who has the upper hand.
- "Eureka!" Moment:
- Picard has one when re-reading the treaty. It allows him to ask for a third party arbiter, and he immediately thinks of choosing a species currently in a months-long hibernation cycle.
- Ard'rian is annoyed by how the others claimed they'd side with Data, but then immediately shifted to Gosheven when Data was deactivated. When she surmises that words don't matter, Data realizes that all he's been doing is using words and the colonists might take better notice of actions.
- Fantastic Racism:
- The Sheliak regard humans as lower life forms, regarding the English language as ridiculously imprecise and describing the colony on Tau Cygna V as an "infestation" to be eradicated if the Federation won't remove them, making no concessions even when it becomes clear that it physically can't be done in the time allotted. The Sheliak commander Picard meets with treats his objection to the possible massacre of over 15,000 people as an annoying outburst that proves the meeting to be a waste of time.
- Gosheven starts out biased against Data simply because he is an android, and when Data refuses to relent in trying to get the colonists to leave, Gosheven attacks him with an electrical device to "deactivate" him, blithely disregarding any objections that he could have killed Data.
- Fatal Flaw: Gosheven's pride would have resulted in the deaths of himself and over 15,000 others if Data hadn't managed to drive his point home in an undeniable fashion.
- Freeze-Frame Bonus: The section of the treaty which triggers Picard's "Eureka!" Moment reads as follows:WE CAN DO SEARCH-AND-REPLACE. COME TO THINK ABOUT IT, THAT'S WHAT THE SHELLIAC WANT TO DO WITH THE COLONY ON THE PLANET. THIS SECTION DEALS WITH THE RIGHT OF EACH PARTY TO CONFER WITH THE OTHER IN THE EVENT SOMETHING SCREWY HAPPENS WITH THE TREATY. THIS MAY TAKE THE FORM OF NORMAL EM SPECTRUM COMMUNICATION, SUBSPACE EM COMMUNICATION, FACE-TO-FACE MEETINGS, TELEPHONE TAG, MESSAGES IN BOTTLES OR OTHER WATER-TIGHT FORM OF ENCLOSURE, GOSSIP, HALF-TRUTHS, OUTRIGHT LIES, OR FACE-TO-FACE MEETINGS. INTERRUPTION OF TREATY COMPLIANCE SHALL NOT EXCEED ONE (1.00 X 10E0) STANDARD UFP SOLAR YEAR (EXCEPT DURING THE MONTH OF JULY). SEE TECHNICAL TA-48985.1742A-C(58945) FOR CODE INPUTS. LCARS UPDATES ON TREATY COMPLIANCE INTERRUPTIONS SHALL TAKE PLACE AT EACH STARBASE LAYOVER, OR WHEN COMMANDED BY RANKING UFP (OR OTHER DESIGNATED BODY) OFFICIALS AT STARFLEET HEADQUARTERS, 24-539 FEDERATION DRIVE, SAN FRANSISCO, CALIFORNIA, EARTH, SOL SECTOR. REQUEST FOR ASSISTANCE MAY BE PLACED BY TRANSMISSION TO STANDARD STARFLEET BOOSTER STATION FOR CHANNELLING TO UFP TREATY OFFICE (SOL SECTOR).
- Hard Truth Aesop: Sometimes violence is the answer. Data doesn't convince anyone to leave until he starts shooting things.
- Hidden Depths: O'Brien can play the cello. (That's really Colm Meaney playing; he's even performed with the London Symphony Orchestra.)
- Honor Before Reason: The colonists' desire to stay and fight the Sheliak, even though their chances are nonexistent.
- I Reject Your Reality: Despite believing Data about the Sheliak threat, Gosheven proves too stubborn to accept that it's a threat that cannot be overcome or even challenged, preferring to believe that the emotionless Data is too cowardly to fight and too stubborn to accept when he's lost. It's only when Data shows the cold, hard fact of the matter that he accepts reality.
- Irony:
- Despite Ard'rian's preference for the rational impartiality of machines compared to humans, the mechanical Data gets nowhere until he starts shooting things, while the human Picard saves the day by out-reasoning the Sheliak.
- After praising Data's machine nature for making him impartial and rational compared to humans, Ard'rian is disheartened to realise that that same nature makes him incapable of returning her feelings, though she's amused to find that Data kissing her to improve her mood was entirely rational.
- Jerkass: Gosheven is incredibly bullheaded and arrogant, disregarding Data as nothing but a machine and trying to kill him when simply dismissing his warnings doesn't get him to leave. It isn't until Data proves how purely outmatched the colonists would be in a fight with the Sheliak that he shows some decency, accepting Data's point and proving that his people matter more to him than his pride.
- Kick the Dog: Gosheven calls Data a coward for insisting that the colonists evacuate instead of fighting the Sheliak, and when Data keeps trying to appeal to the colonists, Gosheven attacks him, neither knowing nor caring if Data would survive.
- Lack of Empathy: As the Sheliak regard humans as a lower life form (if it hadn't been for their treaty with the Federation, they'd have destroyed the colony as soon as they discovered it), the Sheliak commander doesn't consider the physical impossibility of evacuating the colonists to be of any importance; if the Enterprise can't remove them, the Sheliak will.
- Loophole Abuse: When Picard reads through the treaty himself, he finds and exploits a loophole that would delay their plans by six months. He then hangs up on them and strolls about the bridge for a minute when they call back.Riker: You enjoyed that.
Picard: You're damned right. - Not So Above It All: Picard when he gets to stick it to the Sheliak.
- Patrick Stewart Speech: Attempted by Picard with the Sheliak, but the Sheliak shuts off the transmission and viewer screen before he can get out more than a few words. He attempts it again during a meeting on their ship, but is transported back to the Enterprise. He gets them back for the interruptions in kind later on.
- Planet of Hats: The Sheliak are of the Obstructive Bureaucrat variety. They don't put any value on words that haven't already been signed and sealed in a treaty.
- Planetville: One of the series' bigger aversions—in earlier episodes, such as "Up the Long Ladder," entire planetary populations fit in a single cargo hold, but this relatively tiny colony is a logistical nightmare to evacuate because it has fifteen times the Enterprise's crew compliment.
- Psychological Projection: Gosheven describes Data's refusal to give up on evacuating the colony as stubbornness and refusal to accept defeat, then proves (and, in fairness, admits) to have the same qualities by deactivating Data instead of continuing to debate with him.
- Reverse Psychology: One of Data's attempts to sway the colony into evacuating. Community leader Gosheven, dripping with contempt, responds with Sarcastic Clapping.
- Robosexual: Ard'rian McKenzie, the local Wrench Wench, develops a fondness for, and even shares a couple of kisses with, Data. To her disappointment, the emotionless Data is more nonplussed about this than anything.
- Running Gag: Geordi, O'Brien and Wesley get stuck with the impossible task of getting transporters to work through the planet's radiation, and Picard and Riker, taking for granted that they can fix anything, only put up the pretense of checking on them, then blithely leave.
- Same Language Dub: Gosheven's voice was dubbed over by another actor. Grainger Hines asked for his name to be removed from the credits. According to Hines, the director felt that his actual voice did not fit the character's presence that the producers envisioned for the character. They claimed that his voice sounded too much like John Wayne.
- Sarcastic Clapping: Gosheven seizes back control of his meeting after Data's use of Reverse Psychology simply by clapping sarcastically at his rhetorical device.
- Shout-Out: The title of the episode is taken from the poem "The Wants of Man" by John Quincy Adams ("Ensigns" refers to insignias, flags or symbols, not the Starfleet rank):I want the seals of power and place,
The ensigns of command,
Charged by the people's unbought grace,
To rule my native land. - Starfish Aliens: The Sheliak are big spangly blobs; no rubber foreheads here.
- Starfish Language: The Federation never managed to translate the Sheliak language, although the Sheliak did manage to learn many Federation languages.
- Sunk Cost Fallacy: One of the arguments Gosheven uses to try and justify staying despite the danger is that they've spent 90 years building the colony, with Gosheven's own grandfather dying to build the aqueduct and being buried on the mountain (Ard'rian's response to hearing this suggests Gosheven uses that argument frequently). After Data proves how quickly and easily the fruits of that labour can be destroyed, he points out the flaw in the argument; however impressive or costly the efforts were, the things the colonists built are only things, and unlike their lives, can be replaced.
- A Taste of Their Own Medicine: After several instances of being forcibly hung up on by the Sheliak and frantically trying to reopen communications, Picard finds the loophole that allows him to close negotiations and hang up on them, and decides to let them twist in the wind for a minute or so when they call back.
- Too Dumb to Live: The colonists who refuse to leave, particularly Goshoven, who are stubbornly determined to fight an entire alien species to keep their home, despite the fact that a) the Sheliak don't intend to meet them face-to-face and will simply scourge them from orbit and b) the Federation won't intervene to help them because the Sheliak are technically entirely in the right that they own the planet. It takes Data proving that they can't even defeat him, let alone the Sheliak, for Goshoven to get it through his thick head that he's encouraging his people to literally commit an entirely meaningless suicide.
- Translation: "Yes": Apparently the massive treaty is this to the Sheliak, used to compensate for Federation languages being ludicrously imprecise from their perspective.
- Tuckerization: Data's shuttlecraft is called the Onizuka, named for Ellison Onizuka
, who died in the Space Shuttle Challenger explosion in 1986. - The Voiceless: O'Brien appears in several scenes, but has no lines, only an audible grunt at one point.
- What Measure Is a Non-Human?: Part of Data's troubles on the planet come from the leader, Gosheven, having no respect for him because he's an android. Gosheven even hits Data with some kind of stun-rod, having no idea nor any apparent interest in whether he survives.Colonist: You killed him!
Gosheven: I killed nothing! I merely turned off a machine. - White Glove Test: After hanging up on the Sheliak, Picard strolls around the bridge to let the Sheliak's own hail go unanswered, checking the ship's dedication plaque for dust while meandering.
- Wrench Wench: Ard'rian, who's fascinated with anything robotic, and becomes a valuable ally to Data.
