Original air date: 10/18/2006
Cartman is chosen as the new hall monitor and turns into a miniature Dog the Bounty Hunter. Meanwhile, a kindergarten teacher falls for Ike, but the police and other men in town don't care, as the kindergarten teacher is an attractive blonde instead of an ugly male pedophile.
This episode includes examples of:
- An Aesop:
- An adult having a sexual relationship with a child is rape, period, no matter how "mature" the child is, and a sexual predator doesn't cease to be a sexual predator because she's a conventionally attractive woman.
- Kyle gives a really good one to Ike by saying it is better to have a life before entering a relationship as well as mentioning Ike still has his whole life ahead of him.
- Call-Back: Cartman's hatred of gingers is mentioned again.
- Censored Title: Sometimes shortened to "Miss Teacher..."
- Comically Missing the Point: The only reason Cartman is concerned with Miss Stevenson and Ike's relationship in the first place and why he has a problem with it, is because they didn't have a hall pass on them.
- Complexity Addiction: Cartman decides to break into the hotel where Ike and his teacher are to get them, even going as far to terrorise and attack the staff and guests with bear mace with Kyle and his fellow lackeys, rather than just simply report to the police where Ike and Miss Stephenson are, or wait till morning and get them when they leave the hotel.
- Didn't Think This Through: Twice:
- Miss Stephenson obviously didn't think it through that even if she escaped to Italy, the police there would likely had been notified and they would arrest her on her arrival.
- While obviously only a kid, Cartman didn't anticipate that while he meant well, him and his friends were breaking the law by barging into a hotel and terrorising others. And it is implied they got arrested in the end for their crimes.
- Disney Villain Death: Miss Stevenson dies after jumping off the top of Hilton Hotel, though we do see the impact.
- Disproportionate Retribution: Get caught in the halls without a hall pass when Cartman's around? Prepare to suffer the wrath of bear mace. Subverted with Miss Stevenson as while Cartman was macing her for making out in the halls (not because it was with a kid, just in general) she was committing a serious crime at the time.
- Double Standard Rape: Female on Male: Not just rape, but statutory rape! The whole situation brutally mocks the Double Standard of both gender and physical attraction when Ike is congratulated for having someone at least 20 years his senior come onto him sexually only because the rapist is an attractive female. While Ike isn't affected by the ordeal, given his younger mentality, his older brother Kyle is understandably concerned and disgusted.
- Driven to Suicide: Realizing society will never accept their "relationship," Miss Stevenson and Ike choose to kill themselves by leaping off the hotel rooftop. But Ike backs out at the last second, leaving Miss Stevenson to die alone as she crashes into the concrete below.
- Dying Alone: Just as Miss Stevenson and Ike prepare to leap off the hotel roof, Ike backs out at the last second, leaving Miss Stevenson to plunge alone to her death. She utters Ike's name in confusion, questioning why her supposed "love" isn't by her side before she crashes onto the concrete below.
- Enemy Mine: Not only do Kyle and Cartman work together to stop Miss Stevenson, this is probably by far the only episode where Kyle and Cartman actually work together without insulting each other. It helps that Cartman is acting on his heroic side this time, even though he's doing Right for the Wrong Reasons and acting on Skewed Priorities.
- Falling-in-Love Montage: When Ms. Stevenson's and Ike's relationship starts to bloom, we are treated to scenes of her taking him out to dinner, to a skating rink, a sunset picnic, a ride on a duck boat, an artist drawing a picture of them, a merry-go-round, and finally, to her home as "Can't Fight This Feeling" plays throughout the whole thing.
- Felony Misdemeanor: Cartman's motivation for helping Kyle arrest Miss Stevenson; he wants her punished for making out in the hallway without a hall pass.
- Girl on Girl Is Hot: Miss Stevenson's Freudian Excuse for being a pedophile is that when she was young her uncle forced her and her sister to kiss while he took pictures (though due to her warped sense of morals, she doesn't see this as abuse). Her psychiatrist's only response to this is the typical "Nice..." promulgated through the episode.
- Informed Attractiveness: Miss Stevenson, who's treated as really beautiful, even though her looks aren't too much different than the way the show usually shows women (though they do put special emphasis on her lips compared to most characters).
- Laser-Guided Karma: After spending the whole episode being in a very physical relationship with Ike and dodging the authorities, Miss Stevenson first gets a nasty dose of bear mace from Cartman and then jumps to her death intending to take Ike with her, but Ike backs out at the last second, leaving her to die alone.
- Likes Older Women: Ike sure loves him some Miss Stevenson.
- Mondegreen Gag: Miss Stevenson tells Ike they're going to Milan, which he mishears as "Mulan".
- Not So Above It All: Stan is somewhat amused by Ike and Miss Stevenson's relationship.
- Obliviously Evil: Miss Stevenson's morals are, to say the very least, royally screwed up. She is legitimately offended and confused as to why her relationship with Ike would be considered statutory rape, and she talks about how her uncle made her make out with her sister while he took pictures to a psychiatrist without ever noting it as abuse.
- Only Sane Man: Principal Victoria, Mr. Mackey, Kyle and Sheila are the only ones who see that Ike and Miss Stevenson's relationship is straight-up statutory rape.
- O.O.C. Is Serious Business:
- Kyle is so grateful that Ms. Stevenson was caught that he goes up to Cartman and admits that he owes him one for busting her to the principal, despite knowing how Cartman usually is. He doesn't even sound reluctant.
- Ike is so upset at Kyle breaking him and Miss Stevenson up that he quits speaking in his baby talk and clearly states "you're dead to me, Kyle!"
- Playing the Victim Card: Whenever Ms. Stephenson is confronted about her relations with Ike, she acts like people "don't understand" her love.
- Police Are Useless: Officer Yates as usual fulfills this trope when he is jealous of Ike for having a sexual relationship with someone five times his age.
- Police Brutality: Well, he's not a cop but he is a hall monitor, Cartman, in his "Dog" persona, beats up anyone he finds breaking hallway rules.
- Reasonable Authority Figure: Upon hearing about Miss Stevenson's disgusting actions towards Ike, Principal Victoria and Mr. Mackey immediately fire her and report her to the authorities.
- Right for the Wrong Reasons: Cartman is surprisingly one of the few people who wants to stop Miss Stevenson, but not because of how immoral and disgusting her relationship with Ike is, but because they were making out in the hall without a hall pass.
- Running Gag: "Nice..."
- Screw the Rules, I'm Beautiful!: Stevenson gets away (initially) with statutory rape because of her beauty.
- Shout-Out: Cartman's plotline is a reference to Dog the Bounty Hunter.
- Skewed Priorities: Cartman has no interest in helping Kyle end the relationship between Ike and Miss Stevenson until he finds out they were making out in the hallway without a hall pass.
- Spoof Aesop:
- It's important to live and enjoy your life before you ruin it with a serious relationship.
- Follow Christ, or you will die a gruesome, bloody death on the pavement.
- Star-Crossed Lovers: Parodied with Ms. Stevenson, who is a teacher, and Ike, who is a young child. Ms. Stevenson genuinely falls in love with Ike, wanting to run away and start a new life with him. She even
has sex with him. Of course, since Ike is too young to comprehend all of this, he just kind of rolls with it. In the end, Ms. Stevenson wants to commit suicide with Ike, and tells him to jump off the building when she does. While Ms. Stevenson jumps, Ike, thankfully, doesn't. - Take That!: Besides the obvious double standard (see above), the rehab Miss Stevenson goes into has a revolving door, referencing how people (celebrities especially) go in and out of rehab so quickly.
- Taking You with Me: Realizing that society will never accept her "relationship" with Ike, Miss Stevenson decides to jump off a building when the police, Kyle, and Cartman corner her. She tries to take Ike with her, but discovers too late as she jumps that he already left to rejoin Kyle, leaving her to die alone.
- Think Nothing of It: Showing how deep in character Cartman is, when Kyle says he owes him for catching Miss Stevenson, he says not to worry about it, since the hallways are clean.
- Third-Person Person: "Ike made a no-no."
- Wise Beyond Their Years: Miss Stevenson claims it's okay for her to be in a relationship with Ike because he's "very mature for his age", a common justification used by real pedophiles, but Kyle doesn't buy it.
- Yandere: Miss Stevenson is so nuts, that she decides to jump from a building and take Ike with her.
