Elaine gets the gang to volunteer visiting the elderly, each "adopting" an old person. She gets freaked out by hers, George gets fired by his guy, and Jerry loses his. Kramer and Newman scheme to sell records to a vintage music store and take the unwanted records from Jerry's old guy.
Tropes:
- Ask a Stupid Question...: Sid Fields, the man Jerry is visiting, mistakes Jerry's incredulous reactions to the fact that he's throwing away his valuable records as stupid questions:Jerry: What's all this stuff?
Sid: Trash. Garbage.
Jerry: You're throwin' this out??
Sid: I believe that's what you do with garbage, you idiot.
Jerry: You don't want any of this?
Sid: Well if I wanted it, I wouldn't be throwing it away, would I, Ein-stein?! - As You Know: Mrs. Oliver has to tell Elaine about her goiter (which they both know about) because the audience can't see it and probably doesn't know what a goiter is.
- Bread, Eggs, Milk, Squick: As the four were befriending elderly people through an agency:Jerry: They really should mention that in the breakdown: height, weight, goiter.
- Conspiracy Theorist:
- Kramer claims the alternative media is where you hear the truth.
- Sid claims the CIA sent Jerry to kill him, and that his Senegalese caretaker is plotting to turn him into a zombie in order to rob him blind.
- Cool Old Guy: Ben Cantwell is cheerful all around, of sound mind and body, and willing to live the rest of his life to the fullest. By all accounts, George lucked out by attending to him over the thoroughly unpleasant old man and off-putting recluse that Jerry and Elaine got saddled with, but his excessive negativity resulted in Ben ditching him during their first meeting.
- Everyone Has Standards: Jerry himself may be an antisocial and misanthropic jerk, but he doesn't like having to deal with the paranoid and abrasive Sid Fields.
- Going Postal: We learn of Newman's occupation as a mailman in this episode, and the baggage that comes with it.George: Aren't those the guys that always go crazy and come back with a gun and shoot everybody?
Newman: ...Sometimes.
Jerry: Why is that?
Newman: Because the mail never stops! It just keeps coming, and coming, and coming. There's never a letup, it's relentless! Everyday it piles up more, and more, and more, and you gotta get it out! But the more you get out the more it keeps coming IN! AND THEN THE BARCODE READER BREAKS! AND IT'S PUBLISHER'S CLEARING HOUSE DAY!!! - Grumpy Old Man: Sid Fields is angry at the world and everyone who comes into his life.
- Minor Flaw, Major Breakup: By the end of the episode, we learn that Sid got fixed up with Mrs. Oliver offscreen, and had spent an evening in her apartment. Despite bringing it up to Ben, her goiter wasn't what caused him to not pursue her any further. Rather, it was her adding milk to his tea without asking him.
- Racist Grandma: Gender-flipped. Sid Fields says his Senegalese caretaker steals from him, pretends not to speak English, and plays "freakin' voodoo music" in order to hypnotize him, turn him into a zombie and rob him blind.
- Really Gets Around: As Elaine learns, Mrs. Oliver once had a relationship with Gandhi.
- Screw Politeness, I'm a Senior!: Sid Fields bellows gratuitous insults, complaints and wild accusations at everyone who comes along, bluntly tells Jerry that he'd rather be dead than continue to converse with him, assaults people, and pranks Jerry by demanding that he change his diaper.
- Shout-Out: Sid Fields is also the name of both the actor and landlord character of The Abbot and Costello Show.
- Take Our Word for It: All of Mrs. Oliver's scenes take place in her dark apartment, and are intentionally framed so that we can't see her face. As such, when her goiter is brought, the viewer can only assume that it's as off-putting as the episode implies it is.
- Worth Living For: Variation: Even though he's 85, Ben Cantwell (George's old person) doesn't have any regrets with his life, feeling that it's too short to worry about things. As such, when George starts going off on a rant about how sudden death can be, Ben gets up and leaves.George: Wait a second, where are you going?Ben: Life's too short to waste on you.
