Thanks to a loophole in the N.O.R.A. charter, almost anyone is eligible to be automatically promoted to captain. Debbie and Marco immediately take advantage of it to become captains, and promptly start jostling for more power. Quinn asks for them not to argue over the P.A. system, while Murphy just wonders where they got the snazzy captain hats. Stormy is promptly imprisoned by Debbie for making a period joke, while Quinn claims to have too much self-respect to take the easy route to a promotion.
Debbie tries to assert her authority over Debbie Love, to Debbie Love's irritation. Stormy has come down with tuberculosis from being in the dungeon, while a one-shot Asian character named Allen finds out that Article 4 actually discriminates against Asians, not allowing them to become captains and is given bullshit, stereotypical reasons why.
Quinn is dismayed to find out that Debbie Love has taken an Article 4 and become captain herself and is shocked that even Sparks took an Article 4-for claiming to be paralyzed. Debbie Dupree promptly puts that to the test by jamming sharp objects into Sparks's legs.
Soon the only ones left that aren't captains are Quinn, Stormy, and the Asians, and Quinn is trying to do everything needed to run Sealab by himself since everyone else is too busy giving orders. Murphy is still trying to score a hat. Stormy is finally freed, but his time in the dungeon has left him nothing more than a talking skeleton. Quinn reveals that he promised his dying grandmother that he'd never take shortcuts to get anywhere in life, which is why he'll never take an Article 4.
Suddenly a giant robot attacks Sealab, claiming to be Santos, regent of the Seven Seas. He's angry because Sealab is leaking radioactive waste and demands the captain be punished. However, only Quinn is willing to take responsibility and Santos takes him away. Debbie Love asks the other captains if they're happy that their cowardice means Quinn's death, and everyone else is perfectly fine with it.
The Stinger: 'Santos' is actually a mecha built by Allen and the other Asians, and they invited Quinn, Murphy, and Marco's fly-honeys to come with them to outer space for the weekend, then to Bermuda, which they plan on bombing.
The Other Stinger: A commercial for a law firm that sues robots.
