Bad Parents
At the motel, Johnny finds David’s clothes hanging in his closet. He calls David, who doesn’t see the point of coming to the next room and having a conversation. Johnny asks David to move his clothes, and David tells him to put his clothes over David’s t-shirts on hangers. Moira summons Alexis because she’s filling out Alexis’s community service papers. Alexis is surprised she still has to do this over one DUI, and she discovers the form is filled out completely except her middle name. She asks Moira what her middle name is. Johnny and Moira don’t know what it is, and David asks why this is the first time he’s hearing that Alexis has a middle name. He also wonders if he has one.
Moira asks if they have failed their children. Johnny responds that they sent them to the best boarding schools and hired the best nannies. He admits they aren’t overly affectionate and a little disrespectful. Moira asks “But who are they?” Johnny says it might be nice to get to know them better, but she replies who has the time amid all the chaos. As he reads his newspaper and drinks his coffee and she applies her makeup. Johnny says he gets that.
Alexis fills out a community service form at the town hall for Ronnie who asks her what it’s like to be pretty. Alexis replies that it’s good, and Ronnie observes that lots of doors open up for pretty people. Ronnie asks what she did, and Alexis says she drove into the Prada store on Rodeo Drive, which looked like a parking garage and she was high at the time. Ronnie asks her if she is high right now, and Alexis says no. Ronnie says you might want to be because it’s not thrilling work. Ronnie also says she won’t be getting conversation from the person working with her, who is Mutt, who was also caught with drugs. Ronnie gives Mutt and Alexis garbage sticks and orange vests.
David wonders why his father needs 14 grey suits, and Stevie replies that she is trying to figure out why you’d own more than one piece of clothing that you can’t put in a washing machine. She wonders about David’s strange clothes and calls them funky. He retorts that they are luxury. She suggests he try selling some of the clothes. David says each item is hand-selected and they all mean a lot to him, but he asks her how much she thinks he can get.
By the side of a road, Alexis asks Mutt if he was busted for selling drugs and if they were hard. Mutt says no it was mostly weed, mushrooms and uppers and mostly to truckers and his high school teachers. They banter, including about Twyla. Mutt says he has to take off and asks for her to cover for him.David and Stevie stare at piles of his clothes, and he says they should break them into categories. David suggests fit, fabric and nationality. Stevie suggests keep or sell and makes him start making decisions. They banter.
Alexis walks through the woods, looking around. She sees Mutt and Jocelyn. They hug, and he helps her into his car.
Johnny and Moira are at the cafe, and Johnny theorizes that the kids are casual with them because they think of them as friends. Moira says no. Johnny says being hip parents comes at a price. She replies they are not hip, but she is hipper than him. Johnny asks Twyla if she gets along with her parents. She says she used to but her mom thinks she’s her cousin Angela half the time now. She says it’s hard to coordinate visiting time with her dad, who is in prison.
Johnny and Moira are with Alexis and David at the motel. Johnny says they have come to the realization that they haven’t been good parents. Moira says they have no interest in them, and Johnny corrects her and says no idea. Johnny suggests they play two truths and a lie. David says he’s miserable, drunk and hates the game. He also says he’s not drunk. Alexis says her eyes are brown, she’s sample size and once she escaped from a Thai drug lord’s car truck by bribing him with sex. Johnny says that is too easy, and then Moira says her eyes are aqua. Johnny is shocked, and Alexis says she is kidding. She would never bribe anyone with sex. David asks how many people she knows in the prison system, and she says two as she flips him a double bird. Johnny says she’s grounded, and she says it was ten years ago and everyone does dumb things in high school. She also says everyone does dumb stuff and tells them about seeing Mutt and Jocelyn making out.
Later at the cafe, Johnny is upset about what Alexis did. He and Moira spy Jocelyn kissing Mutt on the cheek goodbye. Jocelyn approaches the table and complains about her back and they have innuendo-laden conversation.
David and Stevie go to a thrift shop, and the chubby guy who works there says he can’t use any of David’s things. Stevie asks if they are too funky and he says yeah, let’s go with that. David is incensed and takes his things and leaves.
Mutt and Alexis pick up garbage on a road, and he asks what happened to her the day before. She is irritated and makes suggestive comments that he doesn’t get. She calls him mysterious and handsome and homeless-y, and she says he’s been in the middle of a few messy group scenarios. He’s confused.
Moira is telling Jocelyn she gets it. Roland arrives and asks if she saw “him” and she says yes. He says she can see him as much as she wants but don’t keep it a secret. They have a suggestive conversation about how they both love him, then they say they are talking about their son, Mutt. Roland talks about how much of a nutbar Mutt is, not driving cars or using plastic. Jocelyn says they then see the Roses with David and Alexis and they are so together. Jocelyn asks what their secret is, and Moira says listening.
David looks at the motel computer and tells Stevie the internet is a breeding ground for freaks. A buyer for his sunglasses won’t pay because she thinks they're fake, and he also says that his clothes are all he has. Stevie consoles him and says people in the town don’t know anything. She admires some of his pieces.
Mutt asks Alexis why he would sleep with his mother. Alexis says now that she knows Jocelyn is his mother, it makes more sense. They banter. She asks why he’s estranged from his father, and Mutt replies that Roland takes the mayor thing too seriously. They bond over being disappointments.
Stevie leads David into the Honeymoon Suite at the motel. He asks if she wants to have sex with him, and she says she doesn’t think anyone has sex in that room unless they are being paid for it. She says he can store his clothes in there if she can wear his clothes. He agrees.
Johnny is happy the clothes are removed from his closet. He calls David and Alexis, who ignore him. Johnny and Moira lure them by having a gossipy conversation. Johnny asks if David and Alexis are okay because they feel disconnected. David reminds them they are connected by a door that doesn’t lock. Moira guesses Emma, Hannah and Elsbeth as middle names for Alexis. None of them are right.
Snarkiest Person in Schitt's Creek: David Rose
Tropes That Appear In This Episode:
- Aborted Arc: Stevie is rarely if ever seen wearing David’s clothes.
- Abusive Parents: John and Moira don't even remember Alexis's middle name. (It's probably not Elspeth.)
- The Fashionista: A key part of David's identity is his fashion sense.
- Foreshadowing: Stevie and David do end up having sex in the Honeymoon Suite.
- Good Parents: Johnny and Moira think they were good parents, then come to terms with maybe their hands-off approach made their children distant. However, Roland and Jocelyn see them as good parents.
- I Have No Son!: Roland and Mutt are not on speaking terms.
- Informed Attractiveness: Ronnie observes how pretty Alexis is.
- Hard-Drinking Party Girl: Alexis was this, based on her stories.
- Noodle Incident: Alexis tells the first couple of what will be many stories of her wild adventures.
- Not What It Looks Like: Johnny and Moira witness a conversation between Jocelyn and Roland that sounds like Jocelyn is cheating and Roland knows and wants to hear the details but then it turns out they are talking about their son Mutt.
- The Quiet One: Mutt doesn’t talk much.
- Relationship Reveal: Jocelyn turns out to be Mutt’s mother.
- Sharp-Dressed Man: Johnny continues to wear his bespoke, grey suits throughout the series.
