Jack and the Scotsman 2
Episode numeral: XVII
Original air date: 3/22/02 (produced in 2001)
Jack stops at a bar to rest, and of course attracts attention from some of the less savory characters there. As he's fighting his way out, he (literally) runs into a familiar face- the Scotsman, who's more than happy to see Jack again and had actually been looking for him for some time. After destroying the bar the Scotsman explains why he's been searching for Jack: his wife has been kidnapped by the Master of the Hunt and his Celtic Demons to be the main course in a feast, and due to clan traditions the Scotsman has to find an outsider to help him rescue her. Jack (after getting over the shock that the Scotsman is married) agrees to help, and the Scotsman brings him to his home in the Highlands.
Upon arriving, the Scotsman's fellow clansmen are initially dismissive of Jack, thinking he's a wee foreigner in a dress with no real weapons or skill. The Scotsman vouches for Jack, and while it wins over the regular clansmen the Clan Druid is still not impressed. The Druid orders a test of strength for Jack to prove himself: if he can beat one of the other clansmen in a boulder-throwing contest, the Druid will allow him to accompany the Scotsman. Despite the Scotsman's encouragement Jack is nowhere near strong enough to throw the rock, so he "concedes" defeat and goes to shake the hand of his opponent... who he promptly judo throws with enough force to shatter the boulder when he learns the guy weighs a lot more than the rock. Impressed by this show of strength, the Druid gives his blessing and sends them on their way.
Jack and the Scotsman arrive at the fortress of the Master of the Hunt, sneaking in and heading for the tallest tower where the Scotsman's Wife is being held. They break in, and Jack sees (to his shock and horror) that the Scotsman's Wife was not the delicate Damsel in Distress he had described her as, but a woman who is somehow bigger, uglier, and meaner than her husband. After she berates them for their tardiness Jack and the Scotsman try to sneak her out, but the Celtic Demons spot them and attack. Jack and the Scotsman fight hard, but there are just too many demons to kill before the Master of the Hunt himself arrives. The Master orders Jack and the Scotsman executed, while "the fat one" gets thrown into the stew... bad mistake, as the Scotsman's Wife flies into a rage at being called "fat" and proceeds to single-handedly destroy the Master and his entire army while Jack and the Scotsman look on.
With the Demons defeated, the Scotsman's Wife calms down and makes up with her husband and Jack, the three walking off while discussing dinner plans... until they come to a small door and Jack suggests they find another path because the Scotsman's wife is so... She doesn't take the insult kindly and chases Jack off into the hills, the Scotsman pleading for her to be gentle since Jack's his best friend.
This episode provides examples of:
- Bear Hug:
- Jack is on the receiving end of one these each from the Scotsman and his wife.
- The Scotsman gets one from his wife after they make up, one so strong that it actually causes his magical, nigh-indestructible Celtic sword to bend.
- Berserk Button: Do not call the Scotsman's wife fat. It won't end well, even for Jack.
- Big Red Devil: The Celtic Master of the Hunt, with his robot Demon minions being smaller versions of himself.
- Big "SHUT UP!": Three this time:
- The Scotsman tells one of his kin to "Shut It!" when the guy says Jack's wearing a dress.
- When they're leaving his home, the Scotsman tells Jack to "Shut It!" when Jack starts teasing him about his family.
- The Scotsman's Wife tells him to "Shut It!" when he keeps making excuses for why he showed up so late.
- Culture Clash: The Scots mock Jack and say his kimono is a dress, and when he tries to greet them by bowing in the Japanese style, they ask why he is bending over and staring at the ground.
- Complaining About Rescues They Don't Like: Most of the Scotsman's Wife's dialogue is her berating Jack and her husband for various failings in trying to rescue her.Scotsman: How ya doin', muffin?
Scotsman's Wife: THIS RESCUE STINKS!!! - Flowery Insult: The Scotsman's Wife is just as good at these as her husband, and while she doesn't go for length she more than makes up for it in variety.
- Groin Attack: The Scotsman's Wife starts her rampage by punching the Master of the Hunt between the legs.
- Ground Punch: The Scotsman's Wife's final move is to punch the ground so hard, she destroys the remainder of the Celtic Demons.
- Haggis Is Horrible: Jack is served haggis when he visits the Scotsman's clan. He questions if it's actually food and is grossed out when they confirm yes, you're supposed to eat it, much to the Scots' amusement.
- Incendiary Exponent: The Scotsman explains that his wife's been kidnapped while his shoulder's on fire from a bar exploding. He doesn't even notice.
- More Deadly Than the Male: Jack and the Scotsman are both skilled warriors who mow through hordes of robots on a regular basis, but even they are almost overwhelmed by the sheer number of Celtic Demons. The Scotsman's wife, however, blows through those same Celtic Demons without breaking a sweat when enraged, and is scary enough that Jack flees in terror when he accidentally pisses her off.
- Plot Hole: On their way to the highlands, The Scotsman describes his wife as having blond hair. But when we finally meet her, it's as ginger as his.
- Sickeningly Sweethearts: The Scotsman and his wife are pretty lovey dovey when they make up. Even prior to this the Scotsman can't stop gushing about how much he loves her, and takes her abuse with a dreamy "yes dear".
- The Unintelligible: The Clan Druid speaks only in "BWAK BWAK BWAK" noises, which the other Scots understand perfectly but the Scotsman has to translate for Jack.
- You Are Fat: The Celtic Master of the Hunt tells the Scotsman's Wife this. It ends poorly for him.
