Jack and the Scotsman
Episode numeral: XI
Original air date: 10/29/01
On a trek through the forest, Jack approaches a very long, very narrow bridge, the thing practically collapsing with every step he takes. Still, Jack needs to get across, so he starts out on a slow journey across the bridge. Days past, with Jack not getting much rest as the bridge can't take his weight for too long, but he otherwise doesn't have trouble until he hears music.
Out of the mist comes a burly Scottish warrior, calmly walking the opposite direction as Jack while playing his bagpipes. He stops once he meets Jack, and after a brief exchange confirming Jack is nowhere near the end of the bridge the samurai prepares to take his leave. One problem: the bridge is narrow and the Scotsman is in his way, and he's none too keen on standing aside for a complete stranger. The Scotsman orders Jack turn around and go back to where he started so he can pass by, but Jack rejects that as a waste of time. The Scotsman takes this as Jack being smug and superior and calls him rude, which shocks Jack. Jack's attempt to compromise fall flat, and the Scotsman challenges Jack to a duel to settle the matter.
Jack again tries to resolve things peacefully, but the Scotsman begins hurling insults at Jack to provoke him into a fight. Finally the Scotsman draws his own sword and takes a swing, and while Jack stops the strike it's still enough for the Scotsman to cleave Jack's hat in half. As the Scotsman chortles and mocks Jack, Jack steps forward and runs the Scotsman's bagpipes through in retaliation. The Scotsman doesn't appreciate the slight.
- Scotsman: Ye've done it now. I'm gonna turn yer head into a FLOUR SHIFTER!
Jack and the Scotsman trade blows, and surprisingly the Scotsman proves himself to be Jack's match. Neither one is able to break the other's defense, and even Jack's divine katana cannot shatter the Scotsman's rune-encrusted claymore. The two battle on through the night and into the next day, until both are so exhausted they can barely stand let alone lift their swords. Before they can rest and return to their fight, they are ambushed by a pig sheriff and his robotic bounty hunters, eager to collect the bounties on both of their heads.
As the two figure out they're both wanted by Aku, the pig sheriff fires a pair of handcuffs at them that chain Jack and the Scotsman together. Thus shackled they are unable to jump over the side, so Jack cuts the planks beneath them and sends them both into the swamp. Lost and stuck in a swamp swarming with bounty hunters, the two make for shore and start looking for shelter.
As they hack their way through the brush, the Scotsman asks Jack why he's on Aku's bounty list. The Scotsman boasts that he's got a rap sheet a mile long, with a massive price on his head and hundreds of bounty hunters gunning for him. When they arrive at a village, the Scotsman sees Jack's wanted poster, confirming he's just as infamous if not more so, much to his frustration. As they explore, the pig sheriff and his forces arrive and force the two heroes to take shelter in an outhouse, where they are soon discovered.
Jack and the Scotsman try to attack the bounty hunters, but since they're still chained up they can only do so much. Fortunately the pig sheriff fires a massive cannon shell at the two, and they use this to break their shackles and free themselves. Now uninhibited the two lay waste to the bounty hunters, Jack using his speed and agility to run rings around the enemy while the Scotsman's brute strength and vast arsenal allow him to smash through his opponents with ease. With the bounty hunters defeated, the two laugh and apologize for their earlier behavior, the Scotsman offering to take Jack to a pub for a drink. Jack insists that he'll pay, but the Scotsman won't back down, the two getting into another argument as the episode closes.
Tropes:
- Big "SHUT UP!": In the river, the Scotsman laughs when he sees Jack's ripped hat float by. Then what's left of the bagpipes floats by, and Jack smirks.Scotsman: SHUT IT!
- Bookends: The episode’s main plot starts with Jack and the Scotsman arguing about who’s going to stand aside so that the other can pass, with each one wanting the other to back up, and ends with them arguing in the exact same manner about who’s going to buy who a drink, with each wanting to be the one to buy the other a refreshment.
- Chained Heat: Jack and the Scotsman spend most of the episode shackled together while trying to fend off bounty hunters, and have to learn to cooperate despite their mutual dislike of one another.
- Enemy Mine: Jack and the Scotsman are forced to cooperate to escape the bounty hunters, despite having started out deeply disliking each other and having spent most of a day sword fighting over who had precedence to pass on the bridge.
- Everything's Louder with Bagpipes: The Scotsman's introduction has him playing blaring bagpipe music as he approaches Jack.
- Fire-Forged Friends: Jack and the Scotsman start out as rather vitriolic foes, but having to fight their way through an army of bounty hunters while shackled to one another ends up forging a lasting friendship between the two.
- Flowery Insult: The Scotsman comes up with some rather creative ones for Jack, topping them off with a particularly long and elaborate one.The Scotsman: Whaddaya think of that, Mr. Pajama-wearing, basket face, slipper wieldin', clype-dreep-bachle, gether-uping-blate-maw, bleathering gomreil, jessie oaf-looking scooner, nyaff plookie shan, milk drinkin', soy-faced shilpit, mim-moothed snivelin', worm-eyed, hotten-blaugh, vile-stoochie, cally-breek-tattie?
- Never Smile at a Crocodile: The bounty hunters that go after Jack and the Scotsman use an army of Lizardfolk and six-legged robot crocodiles, two of which at one point opt to simply bite down on the Scotsman’s arms.
- No-Sell: Jack’s slash across the Scotsman’s claymore, which he says should have cut right through it (and probably would have indeed slashed right through any other opponent in the series) fails to so much as dent the blade, which the Scotsman claims is due to the magic runes on the blade. Later, two of the robot crocodiles bite down on the Scotsman's arms, only for him to cackle and smash them together with no injury to himself.
- Not So Above It All: Jack's stoic demeanor has been broken multiple times in previous episodes, but this is the first one where he's seen being smug — for only a few fleeting moments, but still.
- Shown Their Work: Every single word in the Scotsman's rant is actually from true Scottish slang.
- This Means War!: The Scotsman seems to be rather enjoying himself squaring up against Jack... until Jack stabs his bagpipes, at which point he starts going all-out with his attacks.The Scotsman: (calmly) You’ve done it now.
- The Unintelligible: The pig sheriff goes Large Ham as he speaks in gibberish.
- "You!" Squared: When they both discover the bounty hunters, Jack and the Scotsman shout together "They're after me! After you?! They're after me!"
