Season 2, Episode 7
If You’re so Smart, Then Why are you Dead?
"Fizz-eye-sicks - the physics of psychics!"
Directed by Arlene Sanford
Written by Anupam Nigam
Two teenage geniuses, Shockley and Goddard, come to Psych in desperation. They claim that one of their teachers at the Meitner School for Gifted Students – a private school for genius-level children and teenagers - has killed someone, and in two days, they plan to kill again. Just one problem: they have no idea who the killer is, who they killed, or who the next victim will be. They broke into the school for a prank one night, and accidentally tapped into a cell phone call being made from the campus. All they know is that the killer has a deep, gravelly voice, and a cousin named Muriel they were talking to.Meanwhile, Juliet’s one-year probation period at the SBPD is up, and she decides to take the lead on one of their cases. Lassiter gives her the lowest-danger, lowest-priority case they can find… “two students complaining about one of their teachers”.
As Shawn and Gus infiltrate the school under the guise of being guest lecturers for paranormal studies, and Lassiter tries molding Juliet into someone more like him while they cover the same territory, Shawn and Gus learn more about the high-stakes world of the school, and the idea of a murderer being in their midst starts looking more and more realistic…
Tropes:
- Acting Unnatural: When Shawn and Gus enter the teacher’s lounge.Gus: “Try to blend in. Act natural.”
Shawn: HOW ABOUT THESE KIDS TODAY?! OH My GOD…” - Asshole Victim: Professor Hahn, who was both a jerkass to everyone, as well as a blackmailer. It's hard to debate whether he had it coming or not.
- Blackmail: Professor Hahn did this twice, and both times ended in Blackmail Backfire. The first time, he caught a student named Lester Baekeland cheating, and tried blackmailing him for his tuition money. Baekeland attacked him, and was expelled when the administration took Hahn’s side. The second time, he discovered that another student named “Kirk Godel” was actually a 30-year-old with a criminal record named Jay Macendale. Macendale was smarter about getting rid of Hahn…
- Bookends: The episode begins and ends with Henry and Shawn playing chess.
- Dead Person Impersonation: “Kirk Godel” is actually Jay Macendale, who spent time in juvenile hall for stealing a car as a kid on a dare which ended with Accidental Murder. The actual Godel died in a car accident before he could attend Meitner. Macendale – who couldn’t get into college because of his criminal record - saw an opportunity. By tampering with a few files, he took Godel’s place as a student at the school with nobody the wiser… at least until Professor Hahn managed to figure it out.
- Drunk with Power: Lassiter accuses O’Hara of doing this when she makes him go through a huge series of records and files. She’s thrilled to hear it.
- Good Cop/Bad Cop: O’Hara tries training herself to be the bad cop. It doesn’t go well.
- Hannibal Lecture: Shockley and Goddard tag team Lassiter in the interrogation room.
- Hollywood Hacking: Shockley and Goddard hack into the Muriel Juvenile Hall’s files with relative ease, on Henry’s ancient computer, no less. Macendale did them one better, actually tampering with the files to make it less obvious he was ever there…
- I Coulda Been a Contender!: While searching through the school’s records, Gus discovers that he actually was accepted into the school after all, in spite of what he was told. Confused and outraged, he calls his parents, who try telling him that it was too expensive before admitting they didn’t want to make the commute.
- I Resemble That Remark!: Shawn suggests that he and Gus infiltrate the school disguised as teenagers, but Shockley and Goddard reply that Shawn can’t pull it off – his crow’s feet give him away. Shockley asks if Shawn squints or makes funny faces a lot, and Shawn squints in annoyance at him.
- Jerkass: Professor Hahn, a math teacher, has some real attitude issues. He also blackmailed at least two of his students.
- Lady Looks Like a Dude: Gus mistakes several girls in Shawn’s lecture hall for boys.
- Lampshade Hanging: Shawn mentions that if Henry wore a wig, he’d be the spitting image of himself when Shawn was young – a reference to the fact that that younger Henry in flashbacks is the exact same actor, but with a wig.
- Make It Look Like an Accident: Macendale breaks into Professor Hahn’s house, and rigs a massive gas explosion between the professor’s stove and some faulty wiring in a coffeemaker to kill the professor the next morning. Shawn immediately saw that it was planted because Shockley and Goddard told him that Hahn preferred to get his coffee at the school's espresso bar.
- Nerd Glasses: Shawn and Gus go through the school’s lost-and-found and find lots and lots of “hideous eyeglasses”.
- Nerds Love Tough Schoolwork: “Recess” at Meitner involves everyone in the library going through gigantic tomes. Judging by one student hissing at Shawn to keep quiet, they seem to enjoy it.
- Older Than They Look: Macendale is 30 years old, but with a little makeup, can pass for a teenager.
- Police Are Useless: Shockley and Goddard come to Shawn and Gus after trying to alert the police of one of their teachers being a murderer, but due to their youth, the police wrote them off immediately.
- Rhetorical Question Blunder: When Shockley and Goddard grumble about Shawn’s laid-back approach to the case, Shawn asks “If you’re so smart, why don’t you solve it?” Goddard replies they have midterms coming up.
- Screw This, I'm Outta Here: When Shawn calls “Kirk Godel” out as an imposter and a murderer, he bolts out of the lecture hall – and is promptly hauled back in again by Lassiter.
- Speak in Unison: Shawn and Gus both tell the other that they’re taking the case at the exact same time at the beginning, only for each of them to be surprised that the other one wants to take it.
- Surprise Checkmate: In the Cold Open, Henry tries teaching a young Shawn chess. Shawn seems to be having a hard time with it… until he reveals he was messing with Henry to throw him off, and pulls this on him. He does it again at the very end.
- Teen Genius: Most of the students at Meitner are very much this. Shawn holds a lecture on psychic phenomena, and tells the students different things about themselves that aren’t obvious. Not only do they figure out that he’s probably just hyper-observant alarmingly quickly, but they reference the same clues Shawn used.
- Vocal Dissonance: Shawn and Gus briefly suspect a janitor at the school… until he talks to them and reveals he has an oddly squeaky voice.
