The 1986 Christmas episode, which everyone regretted. First broadcast 25 December 1986.
As Del sells cutlery down the market, Rodney encounters a pretty young woman, and abandons his lookout position to talk to her. At Sid's cafe, she introduces herself as Vicky. As the conversation develops, Rodney discovers that she is in fact Lady Victoria Marsham Hales, daughter of the Duke of Maylebury, who is a second cousin of the Queen. She also explains that her mother died in a skiing accident. Sensing a chance to make the Trotter family millionaires, Del decides to assist Rodney's blossoming friendship with Lady Victoria, such as by acquiring tickets for the opera.
On the night of the opera, Rodney and Victoria arrive, only to see that Del has also attended, along with June Snell, an ex-girlfriend of his. Del and June ruin the night by obnoxiously eating snacks, talking during the performance, and fighting with other members of the audience. Nevertheless, Victoria invites Rodney to stay at Covington House for the weekend. Wanting Rodney to make a good impression, Del insists that he dress as a country gentleman in a tweed suit. Already uncomfortable, Rodney is horrified when Del arrives at the country house with a confused Albert in the van, claiming to have turned up to deliver Rodney's evening suit that he "forgot" (although Rodney knows that he packed it and Del removed it so he had an excuse to turn up). As Rodney tries to calm himself, Del introduces himself to Victoria's father and invites himself to that evening's dinner, having coincidentally brought his own evening suit. Del also takes part in a clay pigeon shoot using a sawn-off shotgun borrowed from Iggy Higgins, a local bank robber.
At dinner, Del gets drunk, offends the guests with risqué jokes and humiliates Rodney by revealing his conviction for possession of cannabis. Del finally angers Henry enough by telling a skiing joke (despite knowing that's how Victoria's mother died). In a fit of rage, Henry demands Del meet him outside. As the two leave, Victoria asks Rodney if he's still staying overnight. He reluctantly declines and decides to leave, both understanding that they shouldn't see each other again. Outside, Henry orders that Del, Rodney and Albert are to exit his house immediately.
Back at the flat, a fuming Rodney rants to Del how he has always ruined his opportunities to make a success of his life by getting involved, and hurts his hand by punching a vent cover out of annoyance. After Rodney reveals that he refused the offer of a £1,000 pay-off from Henry to stop seeing Vicky (infuriating Del, who had arranged the offer), Del says that had Rodney refused to stop seeing Victoria, he would probably have been assassinated by the Special Branch because of his conviction for drug use. Del half-heartedly apologises to Rodney and asks him to shake his hand, but this turns out to be a ploy for Del to inflict pain on Rodney for refusing the £1,000 by squeezing his injured hand.
Tropes:
- Artistic License – Gun Safety: Vicky takes Rodney clay pigeon shooting on her father's estate. On his first turn, Rodney stepped up to the shooting area then turned round to speak to the others, inadvertently pointing his shotgun at them. The others yelled at him to lower the barrel but because he was wearing ear protectors he couldn't hear them. Not until the girlfriend's father stepped forward and pushed the gun barrel down towards the ground did Rodney realise what he had done.
- Artistic License – Law: Del speculates that Rodney could become Duke of Maylebury by marrying Vicky, stating her to be heir to the Dukedom as her father's only child. In fact, few British dukedoms are allowed to pass to a female heir, and in any case the husband of a peeress in her own right does not take her title.
- Black Comedy Burst: This episode has largely been disowned by the fandom. It involves Rodney falling for an upper class girl, only for Del to sabotage the relationship with his boorish, obnoxious behaviour - intentionally, rather than his usual well-meant inadvertent blundering - which is played up even more than usual. Afterwards, Del is completely unsympathetic and even mocks Rodney for calling him out on it. John Sullivan and David Jason have both expressed regret that the episode was made.
- The Bus Came Back: June, Del's ex who was last seen in "Happy Returns", turns up in this episode as Del's date for the opera.
- Canon Discontinuity: John Sullivan usually liked to pretend that the 1986 Christmas special "A Royal Flush" never happened. Del cruelly humiliates Rodney and sabotages his friendship with Lady Victoria. Sullivan thought Del went too far and was overly nasty and mean-spirited. He only allowed the episode to be released on video and DVD due to demand from the fans, and even then it was in the form of a severely edited version in which Del is less mean.
- Improbable Aiming Skills: Del takes part in a clay pigeon shoot using a borrowed sawn-off shotgun, and turns out to be pretty good.
- Jerkass: In this episode, Del very much crosses into this territory with his attempts to scuttle Rodney and Vicky's budding relationship. He even cracks a joke about skiing in front of the Duke, despite knowing that the guy's wife died in a skiing accident.
- Point That Somewhere Else: Rodney goes clay pigeon shooting on Vicky's dad's estate. On his first turn, he steps up to the shooting area then turns round to speak to the others, inadvertently pointing his shotgun at them. The others yell at him to lower the barrel but because he's wearing ear protectors he can't hear them. Not until the girlfriend's father steps forward and pushes the gun barrel down towards the ground does Rodney realise what he had done.
- Translation by Volume: Faked by Trigger to help Del get away:Trigger: You are looking for the Hilton Hotel?
Del: Si! Heelton 'otel!
Trigger: Okay. Turn left at the top of the road.
Del: Si!
Trigger: And you'll see a bus stop! Big red bus!
Del: Si!
Trigger: Get a 159 to Park Lane and that is where the Hilton Hotel is!
