The Indian statuette episode. First broadcast 22 September 1981
Del has attended a posh Chamber of Trade bash, and seems to have made a promising new business contact from the Asian community in the shape of Vimmal Malik. Before long, though, he gets caught up in a feud between Vimmal and his rival, Mr. Ram, over the ownership of a valuable Indian statuette which both of them claim is a family heirloom.
As they aren't talking to each other, Del spots an opportunity to act as a go-between, making himself a nice little earner on the side in the process. £2,000 to be precise, that being the difference between what Mr. Ram wants to pay for it (£4,000) and what Vimmal is willing to sell it for (£2,000). Since the former will not hand over the money until he gets the statuette and the latter is unwilling to let the statuette go unless he had the money first, all Del has to do is raise the £2,000 to pay Vimmal for the statuette, and then look forward to doubling his money when he sells it onto Ram.
Alas, it is a scam. After Del pays for the statuette, both Vimmal and Ram disappear, leaving Del £2,000 down and in possession of a statuette which turns out to be worth a lot less than that.
Tropes:
- And the Adventure Continues: The episode ends with Vimmal and Ram, well pleased at having fleeced Del for £2,000, travelling to another part of Britain in the hope of running their scam again.
- Batman Gambit: How the two con artists rope in their marks.Vimmal: Anywhere where there are people who think they can exploit the religious bigotry of two stupid immigrants!
- Black Belt in Origami: The exact phrase is used by Del. Nobody is impressed.
- Catch-22 Dilemma: The crux of the con:Del: Look, he won't let that go till he gets the money, and he won't hand over the money till he gets that. Oh, Gordon Bennett — this is classic, this is, isn't it, eh? It's the bacon and egg situation all over again.
- The Con: Del thinks that he's doing one of these on Vimmal and Ram — taking advantage of their refusing to speak to each other in order to double his money (he gets Ram to agree to pay £4,000 for the statuette, but tells Vimmal that Ram's offered £2,000 for it; he then gives Vimmal £2,000 that he's raised himself, his intention being to make a £2,000 profit when he passes the statuette onto Ram). Unfortunately for Del, Vimmal and Ram are working together and have identified him as the latest mark in their con — which relies on the mark being the sort of person who will try to take advantage of their apparent situation in order to make a profit. It works perfectly, netting them £2,000 — not bad for an initial outlay of £17 (assuming they bought the statuette from the same place where the man from the curry-house got his).
- Desperate Object Catch: Del, triumphant at having got the statuette from Vimmal, stumbles on the hotel steps. He drops the statue and, after a tense Slow-Motion Fall, heroically catches it. Shame it turns out to be in vain.
- Downer Ending: One of the rare episodes where Del doesn't come out on top when someone tries to trick him. He just gets successfully conned and loses a lot of money whilst the conmen get away.
- Early-Installment Weirdness:
- In this episode, the Trotters are seen to own a second vehicle, a Vauxhall Velox, which they sell to raise the cash to buy the statuette.
- This is the only episode prior to Series 4 not to feature Grandad, though he is mentioned. Probably because no scenes in this episode take place at the Trotters' flat.
- Freeze-Frame Ending: Del flinging the statue at Rodney.
- Groin Attack: How Del gets the better of Mr. Ram's bodyguard.
- Hypocritical Humour:Del: [having just failed to con them out of £2,000]: I don't know how people like Vimmal and his mate can sleep at night, honest I don't.
- Karma Houdini: Vimmal and Mr. Ram, who manage to con Del (of all people) out of £2000.
- Though Del was trying to con them out of the same amount.
- Look Behind You:Del: [As Ram's bodyguard threateningly advances on him] Police! [points over Ram's shoulder and, when everyone else looks round, deals with the bodyguard]
- Not Rare Over There: Used as the punchline to a Violin Scam — Del and Rodney raise £2,000 (worth just over £7,700/$10,000 in 2019) to buy an apparently rare Hindu statuette from Vimmal, intending to sell it to Mr. Ram for £4,000. But then both men then disappear, leaving Del with the statue. He realises he's been duped when he sees two identical statuettes in the Indian restaurant. The manager tells them he got them for just £17 each on Portobello Road...
- Oh, Crap!: When the restaurateur finally realises who Del and Rodney are talking about - and he reveals he's not who he said he was. Rodney himself practically has a look of pure horror.
- Orphaned Punchline:Del: So he said "She can't come now 'cos she's weighing the postman."
- Shout-Out to Shakespeare: Attempted...Del: As Macbeth said to Hamlet in A Midsummer Night's Dream, "We've been done up like a right couple of kippers."
- Violin Scam: A variation, given that the two conmen (Vimmal and Mr. Ram) claim to be unable to talk to each other due to cultural reasons. Their scam relies on the mark (Del) attempting to take advantage of this situation. Which, of course, he does.
- What the Fu Are You Doing?: Mr Ram's bodyguard demonstrates his "karate" to Del. This consists of spinning his arms around and yelling incoherently. He looks nonplussed when Del doesn't react, then Del fells him with a Groin Attack.
