Original air date: 6 Jul 2010
Marion falls for the beautiful Lollipop. The trouble is, Lollipop is only three weeks and six days old and, as everyone but Marion knows, the legal age for dating is not three weeks – it's four weeks. All Marion has to do is stay alive for one more day so that Lollipop can be his soulmate. Which should be easy, a cat having nine lives.
Out on a walk in the park, Destiny meets a guide dog and decides that guiding is for her, purely because she likes the idea of being in control. However, she quickly discovers that guiding has its downside. It's time for her to find someone else to do her work for her – Nelson.
Kali reveals that she used to nest in Amy Winehouse's hair.
Also, Nelson goes on Spingwatch, where he learns that the animals there are posh actors.
This episode contains examples of:
- Affably Evil: The Springwatch animals are all horribly polite and upper-class, even as they plan to tear out Nelson's throat live on TV.
- Asians Eat Pets: Bachelor #3, whom Marion picked, is identified as "1970's racist stereotype Mr. Lee", who is heavily implied to use cat meat in his food.
- Cats Have Nine Lives: Marion initially thought it was fifty lives until Nelson corrected him ("Damn you, the Hung Parliament!"). We see what happened to Marion's past eight lives, most of them via flashback, over the course of the episode:
- Drowned by his first owner.
- Gassed by his second owner in his car.
- Allowed Nelson to give him acupuncture with used heroin needles.
- Went on Blind Date and picked Bachelor #3: Mr. Lee.
- Had his life support cut accidentally by Death while in hospital for bird flu.
- Savaged by Lollipop's mother.
- Brutally beaten up by Vince.
- Spontaneous brain anyeurism.
- Everyone Has Standards: Kali, as spiteful and vengeful as she can be, draws the line at Marion dating a three-week old."(snort) Kitten fiddler!"
- Head-Tiltingly Kinky: Almost the second Marion's underage girlfriend Lollipop comes of age, he proceeds to make out with her while Destiny, Nelson, and Kali all tilt their heads.Nelson: Is it just me, or is that technically legal, yet still really very creepy?
Destiny: Still creepy.
Kali: Oh, yeah! - Jailbait Wait: The titular dilemma of the episode is Marion waiting one day for Lollipop, his barely legal girlfriend, to reach the feline age of consent. Humorously, the two play it up as though it were years, not days, with all the romantic melodrama that implies.
- Mama Bear: Lollipop's mother shows up when Marion is making the moves on her underage daughter. The next time we see Marion, he's wearing bandages around his crotch.
- Masquerade: The animals on Springwatch are actors and Chris Packham is none the wiser.
- May–December Romance: With Marion as the December and Lollipop as the May. The others are disgusted by this due to Lollipop not being the age of consent, with Kali especially getting a few digs in. Even when Lollipop does reach legal age, everyone is still creeped out due to the significant age gap between Lollipop and Marion - especially since Lollipop was underage a mere few seconds ago.
- Opinion Flip Flop: Nelson goes from trying to get a spot on Springwatch to being disgusted by the fakery of the actors, then to auditioning for it when Destiny reveals that she watches it and thinks the lead fox is attractive.
- Spanner in the Works: Vince ends up being this for the Springwatch fox's plans to kill Nelson live on TV. Nelson manages to trick him into taking his part instead, which results in the unprepared Springwatch foxes facing the wrath of the same violent sociopath whose audition they rejected earlier.
