B.J. tells Hawkeye about a quiz in Reader's Digest that suggests that his constant wisecracking is a sign of insecurity. In response, Hawkeye bets B.J. that he can last an entire day without making jokes - a challenge that proves harder than he imagined.
Meanwhile, Major Winchester is incensed by the pending visit of Colonel Horace Baldwin, the surgeon at Tokyo General Hospital responsible for Winchester's arrival at the 4077th. After Klinger reminds him that Baldwin has the power to undo his reassignment, Winchester does his best to ingratiate himself to his former commanding officer. But some of Baldwin's requests might be too much to ask...
Attention all personnel! Captain Pierce cannot joke about the following tropes:
- Being Good Sucks: In the The Tag, Winchester is Drowning My Sorrows in the Officer's Club over losing the chance to be transferred back to Tokyo. Margaret tries to cheer him up by showing her appreciation for standing up for her.Margaret: Instead of taking the easy way out, you stood up for a principle.Charles: Yes. Yes, I did, didn't I? (Beat) Well, I certainly won't let that happen again.
- Cold Turkeys Are Everywhere: Openings for wisecracks crop up throughout the day, driving Hawkeye to madness. Notably, the show doesn't present the events of the day as being too out of the ordinary, simply Hawkeye's reaction (or lack thereof).
- Everyone Has Standards: Winchester grudgingly agrees to suck up to Baldwin, lose to him at cribbage, even hire an escort for him, but accusing Margaret of conduct unbecoming an officer?Winchester: As painful as this is for me to say, I must nevertheless unequivocally state...that...(whimper) Colonel Baldwin is lying through his teeth. He offered to have me reassigned to Tokyo if I would bear false witness against Major Houlihan. (turns to Baldwin) I've groveled! I have endured your insufferable cribbage playing. I have kissed your brass. But I will not - even for a return to that pearl of the Orient, Tokyo - lie to protect you while destroying a friend's career!
- Exact Words: Hawkeye keeps his word and goes a full 24 hours without making any wisecracks... and just after midnight 24 hours later, he hops on the camp PA and unleashes a mighty shitstorm of jokes about everything that happened that day.
- False Rape Accusation: Baldwin accuses Margaret of this, claiming she was the aggressor and only accused him after he turned her down.
- Head-Tiltingly Kinky: Whatever Baldwin had in mind for his companion for the night, it involved him wearing a hood and leather pyjamas.
- Hollywood New England: In case we had forgotten that Winchester is from Boston, he says this:Winchester: I swear by all that is holy on Beacon Hill, I shall get even!
- Sad Clown: Hawkeye and B.J.'s plot is driven by the former denying he's this.
- Stock Aesops: Potter throws a number of platitudes about forgiveness at Winchester before telling him about Baldwin's arrival.
- The Oldest Profession: Winchester hires a local "business girl" when Baldwin suggests that arranging a loneliness cure would earn his gratitude.
- Thoroughly Mistaken Identity: Baldwin is sitting in his tent awaiting the arrival of someone to "keep him company". Then Major Houlihan knocks on the door...
- What You Are in the Dark: Winchester could have let Margaret, who he had had his fair share of disputes with, be thrown to the wolves over Baldwin's false accusation, and accept his much-desired transfer. But when push came to shove, he couldn't do it.
