Hawkeye and B.J. are frustrated with Charles, who persists in one-upping all their anecdotes and accomplishments with those of his own. Meanwhile, a shortage of morphine prompts Colonel Potter to recommend an unorthodox treatment for the pain being experienced by a number of wounded patients: sugar pills. Finally, Klinger contends with a corporal who appears to be crazier than he is... or is he?
Attention, all personnel! Major Winchester can do better than the following tropes:
- Anything You Can Do, I Can Do Better: The theme of doctors' subplot, as Winchester keeps pulling this on his tentmates.
- Artistic License – History: Played with in the case of Winchester's date with Audrey Hepburn. The doctors talk about Audrey Hepburn as a great star, when at this point in her career, she had yet to achieve worldwide stardom. She had been in a few British films and on stage, but would not become a household name until the release of Roman Holiday, which came out in August 1953, after the war's end. She had achieved minor prominence on Broadway after starring in the 1951 play Gigi, so she was not unheard of, but the doctors' dialogue focuses on her film career instead.
- Celebrity Lie: Subverted. In a bragging and name-dropping contest, Charles claims to have had dinner with Audrey Hepburn, despite never having seen any of her movies. Hawkeye and B.J. refuse to believe him, until Charles produces a photograph (which is never shown to the viewers) to prove the veracity of his tale.
- Given her upper-class European background, it's most likely that Charles knew her socially rather than from her acting career.
- Cloudcuckoolander: Corporal Miller is the kind of crazy Klinger could only dream of being. He spends his day talking into a ladle like a microphone and believes he's on the radio, his nights talking to his boot and sock (whom he appropriately names Mr. Boot and Mr. Sock), and eventually takes to firing his rifle at imaginary North Korean gliders, even claiming to catch a pilot only he can see.
- Obfuscating Insanity: Subverted by Corporal "Boots" Miller. Klinger is initially convinced Miller is faking, but changes his mind when Miller starts firing his rifle at nonexistent North Koreans. Miller returns to the States and makes a fortune off of the toys he was able to make based on his experiences in Korea, leaving Klinger despondent that even he was fooled. Then Potter reads part of Miller's letter where he asks if anyone had taken photos of the glider Miller claimed to have shot down.
- Placebo Effect: The doctors resort to this to treat bone fracture pain after their sole remaining batch of morphine produces a bad reaction in a patient. It mostly works.
- Skip the Anaesthetic: Winchester tells of a story of an appendectomy performed with hypnosis used in place of anaesthetic. It's not unheard of.
- Tall Tale: Hawkeye and B.J. trade these with Winchester, who persists in doing better with his.
