After the men of the 4077 prove unable to lift an overturned ambulance and are subsequently shown up by only four MPs, Colonel Potter orders everyone to participate in a camp Olympics to get in shape. The story is interspersed with vintage newsreel footage of the 1952 Summer Olympic Games in Helsinki.
Attention all personnel, get into shape by competing using these tropes:
- Academic Athlete: B.J. earned varsity letters in university for athletic activity. Hawkeye claims the same, adding a scholarship (he was paid by the coach to stay away from the man's daughter).
- Big Eater: Ames, the soldier being discharged for being overweight. Also Klinger, as he attempts to gain 60 pounds to gain a discharge. All Klinger winds up with is an upset stomach, and Ames passes his weigh-in by mere ounces.
- Crack Defeat: Penobscott is far more in shape than Ames, but is so distracted by his own premature gloating that he trips into some netting, allowing Ames to win the obstacle course event.
- Friendly Rivalry: Between Hawkeye's Yellow Blackbirds and B.J.'s Pink Elephants.
- The Good Guys Win: Ames tries (unsuccessfully) to warn Donald that he's about to back into camouflage netting.
- Hypocrite: Colonel Potter insists on the camp having morning physical training, but doesn't take part himself.
- Idiot Ball: Colonel Potter insists on having his medical staff help upright a toppled ambulance, potentially risking injury, instead of just getting some of the camp's enlisted men (who have to collapse and erect tents whenever they bug out) to do it. Injury is exactly what happens at the end too, everyone sore in surgery, though this is more soreness from not exercising regularly and trying to be physical without preparing for it.
- News Reel: From the 1952 Helsinki Olympics.
- Pseudolympics: Including a torch relay (to light a bedpan), a footrace (on crutches), and a fifty yard dash (with girls riding on their shoulders). There are other events that aren't shown.
- Rousing Speech: B.J. begins one for his team. Margaret finishes it and turns it into a "The Reason You Suck" Speech.
- Serious Business: Margaret gets way into winning the competition, and doesn't take it well when Donald points out it was just a race he lost.Margaret: A race? That wasn't just a race, that was the Olympics!
- Shout-Out: To Annie. Hawkeye introduces Winchester to Penobscott as "Daddy Warbucks."
- The Tape Knew You Would Say That: Col. Potter makes an announcement over the PA for everyone interested in volunteering for a particular assignment to report to the mess hall immediately, and for everyone else to report there five minutes earlier. When he's about to shut off the PA he stops as he imagine the unheard grumblings from the camp and with a tired look goes back on the PA to reply, "Same to you".
- Wager Slave: The losing team captain has to push the winner around in a wheelchair for one week.
- You Are Fat: Naturally, fat jokes are peppered throughout.
