Recap / M*A*S*H S5 E15: 38 Across

Hawkeye's call to an old friend for help solving a Crossword Puzzle quickly spirals out of control.

Attention, all personnel! What is a 6-letter word beginning with T with the clue, "Creative Figures of Speech?"

• Contrived Coincidence: Just as Admiral Cox is yelling about how there'll be an investigation into the 4077th for dragging him all the way out here for nothing, Father Mulcahey runs in yelling that there's an ambulance full of burned civilians in the compound.
• Delayed Reaction: Radar, like everyone else in the 4077th, is so used to Klinger's antics that when he sees him eating a jeep, it takes until he's sitting down at his desk to realize that Klinger is eating a jeep.
• Ho Yay: Feigning a medical issue, Klinger beckons Admiral Cox close, then lays a big kiss on him.
  Klinger: If I can't get out of the army, can I get a transfer to the Navy?
  • Gets a Call-Back at the end of the episode as Klinger drives Cox and Tippy away from camp.
    Potter: And Klinger, no kissing!
• Jerkass: Burns is in fine form this episode, telling a Korean burn victim that if she can't speak English that she should go back where she came from, nevermind that she's in her home country. He then goes on to call them heathens.
• Madness-Induced Omnivore: Klinger attempts to eat a Jeep as part of his latest Section 8 scheme. Needless to say, he quickly regrets this choice.
• Match in a Bomb Shack: Korean civilians began gathering spilled gasoline for their lamps using rags. Once it got dark, one of them lit a match...
• Meaningful Name: The episode's name is not only the crossword clue^note for the word "vantz" at the heart of the plot, but refers to the 38th parallel that cuts across the Korean peninsula and forms the border between North and South. Misunderstanding and overreaction: Sitcom plot, or cause of a war?
• Never My Fault: Radar tells Hawkeye and B.J. that they're in a lot of trouble for needlessly bringing Lt. Brookes and Admiral Cox from their ship when he was the one who bungled the message.
• No Good Deed Goes Unpunished: Hawkeye treats a Chinese prisoner's head wound and receives genuine gratitude from the prisoner. After the prisoner exchange, Seoul City Sue comes on the radio and claims that the surgical scar was from torture and Hawkeye should be branded a war criminal.
• Pay Evil unto Evil: Admiral Cox thinks they should respond to the propaganda hit piece with an even bigger hit piece by claiming the burned civilians were the result of a Chinese firebomb attack rather than an accident. Hawkeye talks him out of it.
• Poor Communication Kills: Hawkeye calls Tippy for help on finishing the crossword puzzle. Tippy misunderstands it as an emergency and heads over to the 4077 with Admiral Cox to help out, eating up a lot of time and nearly getting killed en route.
• Serious Business: Hawkeye is determined to finally finish a Times crossword puzzle.
• Surprisingly Realistic Outcome: Klinger's Section 8 stunt of the episode involves eating a jeep. He needs to be hospitalized for a blocked intestine.