Recap / M*A*S*H S1 E17: Sometimes You Hear the Bullet

"I've watched guys die almost every day. Why didn't I
ever cry for them?"

"Look, all I know is what they taught me at command school. There are certain rules about a war, and rule number one is young men die. And rule number two is, doctors can't change rule number one."

— Henry Blake

The show's first-ever Wham Episode.

The episode begins humorously enough, with Frank throwing his back out and getting put in traction. During the time of Frank's recovery, Hawkeye is visited by an old friend from home, Tommy Gillis, who he's known since childhood and who is just as much of a wisecracker as Hawkeye is. Tommy, a journalist who enlisted to fight in the war and get a first-hand account of what life is like at the front, tells Hawkeye and Trapper of a book he's writing about his experiences, to be titled You Never Hear the Bullet (after how, unlike in war movies, in real life you never seem to hear the bullet that hits you). After Tommy has shared a depressing story about witnessing one soldier's death firsthand and they've settled back for another round of drinks, more wounded arrive, calling Hawkeye and Trapper back to the OR. After sharing a goodbye hug with Hawkeye, Tommy heads back to his outfit.

The episode's third plot begins afterward, when Hawkeye discovers that a 15-year-old named Walter has been posing as his older brother Wendell in order to serve in the Marines and impress a girl back home. Hawkeye promises not to turn him in, provided he takes the time to recover from his surgery. Later on, Hawkeye tries to have a date that evening, but complications arise until the announcement of the arrival of more wounded cancels the date out. Hawkeye goes in to perform surgery again, with little knowledge that he will not be coming out of it as the same man.

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Attention, all personnel! On January 27, 1973, the face of M*A*S*H was forever changed with these tropes:

• Accidental Hero: While trying to comfort Hawkeye, Henry talks about how he was taught that doctors simply can't stop young men from dying in war. This gives Hawkeye the push to reveal the truth about Walter, when he initially was going to look the other way.
• Acoustic License: Discussed. Tommy explains the title of his book is You Never Hear the Bullet, because in movies and such you always hear this loud ricochet sound effect when a dramatic death occurs. The last words of a young man from his unit, "I didn't hear no bullet," convinces him this isn't true. When Tommy himself is shot, he tells Hawkeye he did hear the bullet.
• Amusing Injuries: Frank throwing his back out.
• Armor-Piercing Question: When Henry discusses the "rules" about war quoted above, Hawkeye asks him if he really believes that. Henry admits he doesn't really know, and then asks the same question of Hawkeye. His answer is the same, but it makes him think about how he can keep one young man alive.
• Artistic License – Medicine: Hawkeye would never be allowed to operate on someone he knows if there are other surgeons available. That being said, with the meatball surgery the MASH surgeons do, it's likely no one realized that Hawkeye knew him before he hit the table and/or Hawkeye was the only surgeon available when Tommy came in.
• Artistic License – Military: Frank (or Walter, for that matter) would never be eligible for a Purple Heart because his injury was not sustained in combat. Being at a front line unit wouldn't be enough.
• As You Know: When talking about his book, Tommy explains how in the movies you always hear the bullet when it strikes and kills a character. Well, in Tommy's experience, that never seems to happen at all in real life. Until it does.
• But Liquor Is Quicker: Played for Laughs as Hawkeye attempts this while wooing Nurse Griffin.
  Hawkeye: You're my kind of girl, Nancy... drunk.
• Childhood Friends: Hawkeye crosses paths with Tommy Gillis, someone whom he has known since fifth grade.
• Child Soldier: "Wendell" aka Walter, a 15-year-old boy who joined the Marine Corps under false credentials because back home, his girlfriend dumped him for a serviceman. Hawkeye initially discovers him and intends to turn the other way, until Tommy dies, prompting Hawkeye turns the underage kid over to the MPs.
• *Crack!* "Oh, My Back!": Frank Burns throws his back out while dancing with Margaret in her tent. While it is treated hilariously, it is also treated realistically.
• Deadpan Snarker:
  • Hawkeye and Nancy Griffin have a small trade of the romantic sort when Trapper calls the former's name.
    Hawkeye: Are you a ventriloquist?
    Nancy: Mm-mm. It's your roomie.
  • It continues on when Hawkeye responds to Trapper's interruption.
    Hawkeye: I thought you were shooting craps with the chaplain.
    Trapper: Frank had an accident.
    Hawkeye: Give him a mop and tell him to be more careful.
    Trapper: C'mon, give me a hand. I'm serious.
    Hawkeye: [to Nancy] I hate it when he's serious.
  • Frank asks Hawkeye what he's doing in the post-op ward.
    Hawkeye: Well, I have a stethoscope fetish. It's the only place I can wear one without attracting attention.
  • Henry gets his own moments when going over Frank's accident report, being quite dismissive of both the claimed reason Frank wants a Purple Heart and of Margaret, who is constantly trying to interject.
• Department of Redundancy Department: Henry, after Hawkeye asks if he intends to go through with Frank's medal application.
  Henry: Pierce, that's a decision I'll decide when I decide and make my, uh, decision, and that will, uh, decide it.
• Double Take: Henry awards Frank his medal.
  Henry: Frank, here is your Purple Earring.
  [Frank and Margaret give Flat "What" expressions]
  Henry: Earring? What the...
• Easily Forgiven: Walter is furious with Hawkeye when the latter blows the whistle about him being too young to serve, but in the final scene (often deleted for syndication) he's all smiles and grateful about receiving a Purple Heart (that was actually stolen from Frank)
• A Father to His Men: Henry takes the time to comfort Hawkeye about Tommy's death and doctors' roles in war.
• Guilt Complex: An early showing of Hawkeye's favourite activity, beating himself up. This time it's that he's seen plenty of men who have died and this is the first time he's crying.
• Good Old Fisticuffs: Two patients have a fight in the post-op.
• I Need a Freaking Drink: Hawkeye's second response after hearing about a young soldier's death from Tommy. See the Visible Silence entry below for the first.
• Lampshade Hanging: Hawkeye's reply to Margaret's cover story on what happened to Frank.
  Hawkeye: And were you directing traffic at the time of the incident?
• Man Hug: Hawkeye and Tommy share one before Hawkeye has to report for surgery and Tommy has to get back to his unit.
• Manly Tears: Hawkeye is absolutely heartbroken to lose a friend in such a violent manner. Admitting it out loud only leads him to feel more guilty as he has never cried for any of the other patients he lost.
• Noodle Incident:
  • Frank mentions that the last time he threw his back out was "V-J Day in Times Square, when this big sailor hugged me."
  • Hawkeye and Tommy recount to Trapper about the times they had together when they were kids.
• One-Steve Limit: Averted in this episode; while no one knew it at the time, there were at least two young men with the first name of Walter at the 4077.
• Post-Kiss Catatonia: Henry appears to have something of this after Tommy's kiss, as he dazedly thanks Tommy with an odd smile on his face.
• Plot Threads: This episode is notable for having three ongoing plots.
• Running Gag: This is the first time Frank Burns puts in an application for a Purple Heart medal. It won't be the last.
• Skewed Priorities: Walter, a 15-year-old kid who lied about his age to get into the Marines and put on the front lines to impress a girl. Hawkeye even asks him if a girl worth having would care about a medal.
• Special Guest: Ron Howard as Wendell/Walter.
• This Is Unforgivable!: Walter blasts Hawkeye for ratting him out. After losing Tommy, Hawkeye can only smile and talk back with a well-meaning snark.
  Walter: I'm not gonna forgive you for this! Not for the rest of my life!
  Hawkeye: Let's hope it's a long and healthy hate.
• Throw the Dog a Bone: Hawkeye was sympathetic enough to Walter's situation that he was willing to look the other way. Ultimately, he tells the truth so that Walter won't get needlessly killed, but he arranges for him to get Frank's Purple Heart so that he can look good to his old girlfriend back home.
• Title Drop: Comes during the episode's most tragic moment, when Tommy tells Hawkeye – who is desperately operating on him and trying to save his life – that he heard the bullet that is killing him, "just like in the movies".
  Hawkeye: So you'll change the title of the book, that's all. Sometimes You Hear the Bullet. It's a better title.
• Twisting the Words: Margaret suggests that Frank's injury of "tripped in the mud on the way to the shower" can be worded as "an injury sustained at a frontline unit". As usual, Hawkeye snarks back.
  Hawkeye: On that basis, we should be handing out awards for social diseases.
• Visible Silence: The Swamp is quiet after Tommy tells Hawkeye and Trapper about the loss of one of his war buddies.
• We Are Not Going Through That Again: Hawkeye turns Walter over to Major Houlihan in order to save his life.
• Wham Shot: Towards the end of the episode, Hawkeye is called to switch over to a newly arrived patient rated with an emergency priority. It's Tommy.
• What the Hell, Hero?: Hawkeye gives himself one when he realises he's never shed tears for any of the patients he's watched die until this point.
• You Are Better Than You Think You Are: Hawkeye tries telling this to Wendell/Walter.

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