Recap / M*A*S*H S1 E14: Love Story

"Better to have loved and lost than never love at all."

Not in Radar's case. The 4077's company clerk has received heartbreaking news from home that his fiancée is now engaged to someone else and his poor little heart is broken. In his emotional state, he is unable to run things properly and starts messing things up. All that changes when a new nurse rolls in and he gets smitten. However, because of the army rules and regulations, Frank and Margaret seek to break up the potential romance. Hawkeye does not take this lying down and declares war on the two.

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Attention all personnel, Love Story has a few tropes along the road:

• Angst? What Angst?: Radar's emotional issues practically disappear when he meets Lieutenant Anderson.
• Berserk Button: Hawkeye is not happy when Frank refers to the North Koreans as a "godless horde".
• Big Eater: Hawkeye and Trapper lampshade how much food Radar piles onto his platter.
  Hawkeye: That's a nice-looking hors d'oeuvre.
  Trapper: Would you like a doggy bag in advance?
  Hawkeye: Don't give him a doggy bag. He eats those too, with cream and sugar.
• Blatant Lies: Margaret denies she has a date set with Major Burns when Radar comes to tell her he can't come.
• Deadpan Snarker: Radar sums up Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire from just its title.
  Radar: "Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire"? Sounds serious.
  Hawkeye: Well, it was no picnic.
• "Dear John" Letter: The source of Radar's troubles is a Dear John Recording of his ex and her new fiancée, offering some insincere apologies and hoping that they'll all be good friends if he comes back alive, before ending with them making out in the recording booth. Ouch.
• Dude, Where's My Respect?: Margaret bites back at Hawkeye's continued insults.
  Margaret: The next time you see me, I want a salute, Captain.
• Five-Second Foreshadowing: Frank realizes a little too late that his cologne is either spiked or has been replaced with chloroform.
  Frank: (whimpering) Oh no.
• Hero with Bad Publicity: Lieutenant Anderson is wary of Hawkeye because of his infamy with the ladies.
• Hypocritical Humor: Once again, Frank and Margaret believe their romance is the only pure and untouched one in the whole camp. Yeah right...
• Insecure Love Interest: Because of this with Radar, Hawkeye and Trapper teach him some tricks to provoke belief in Lieutenant Anderson that his interest in reading and music is similar to her own. The results are very mixed.
• Ironic Echo Cut: Henry too is surprised by Radar's Out-of-Character Moment
  Hawkeye: That's a first.
  Trapper: Radar not eating.
  [cut]
  Henry: Not eating?
• Jerkass: Frank Burns. When something's physically wrong with a patient or a friend, he's the perfect doctor. When there's something mentally or emotionally wrong with somebody, he automatically thinks it's nothing, the patient's just goldbricking and they should be getting extra duty for it.
  Hawkeye: Frank, would you mind not being so true red, white and blue first thing in the morning?
• Jerkass Has a Point: Margaret is correct that relationships between officers and enlisted are prohibited, barring very specific circumstances.^note Most commonly, this type of relationship is seen when the relationship is preexisting and either both persons were enlisted and then one became an officer, or if one was a civilian and the other enlisted before they became an officer.
• Love at First Sight: Radar meets Lieutenant Anderson and is head over heels.
• Nice Job Breaking It, Hero: Hawkeye seems on the verge of success of getting one of the nurses to take Radar on a date, but he's too much of a casanova to go through with it.
  Nurse: Oh hey, what about Radar?
  Hawkeye: Radar who?
• Noodle Incident:
  • The first sign Radar was having problems was when the day before, Henry found him on top of the filing cabinet in the foetal position.
    Trapper: The foetal position?
    Hawkeye: [picks up the phone] Doctor Freud, call your office.
  • The second sign occurred earlier that morning. General Clayton had called for the monthly report. Radar told him the camp doesn't deliver.
  • As part of their war on Margaret for interfering with Radar and Lieutenant Anderson's relationship, Hawkeye and Trapper sewed Frank into his cot blanket.
• O.O.C. Is Serious Business: Hawkeye and Trapper realize something is getting to Radar when he doesn't eat one bite of his lunch. Radar has also been fouling up supply requisitions. Henry notes it's been a long time since that happened.
• Running Gag: The first occasion where Henry gets something stuck to his hat. Here, it's one of his fingers getting caught on a fishing hook. Ouch.
• Shout-Out: To Goldilocks and the Three Bears
  (in baby voices)
  Hawkeye: The first one was too hard.
  Trapper: The second one was too soft.
• Spanner in the Works: Margaret tries to drive a wedge in the growing romance between Radar and Lieutenant Anderson. This is lampshaded by Henry and met with sarcasm by Hawkeye.
  Margaret: It's against regulations for enlisted personnel to consort with officers.
  Henry: Major, has it occurred to you that these two people may be in love?
  Margaret: That's not important.
  Hawkeye: Not important?! Without love, what are we worth? Eighty nine cents. Eighty nine cents worth of chemicals walking around lonely.
  Henry: That means my marriage is only worth a dollar seventy eight?
• Suddenly Shouting: When Margaret is well and truly broken by Hawkeye and Trapper's campaign, she reverts to this.
• A Taste of Their Own Medicine: This is how Hawkeye gets back at Margaret.
• This Means War!: Hawkeye gets beyond irritated by Margaret's by-the-book demeanor on the matter of Radar and Lieutenant Anderson dating.
  Hawkeye: One of these days, I'm gonna booby trap her garter belt. Wonder how she'd like it if I broke up her romance with Frank Burns? I wonder how she'd feel about that?
  Henry: Now, Pierce, I - I did not hear that. I did not hear that. And if it comes down to that, I will deny any complicity with, or knowledge of that sort of cheap, low, sneaky, underhanded maneuver. [pauses thoughtfully] Do you think you can do it?
  Hawkeye: You got it.
• Uptown Girl: Lieutenant Anderson has some very classy interests in literature and music.