Hawkeye and B.J. get a letter from Mildred, Col. Potter's wife, telling them she's paid off the mortgage and they should throw a surprise mortgage-burning party for Col. Potter. However, since the two are sworn to secrecy as to what the letter is really about, Col. Potter jumps to the conclusion she's actually bought a houseboat, which he doesn't want at all. Not only that, but Hawkeye and B.J.'s plans to help with the party get derailed by a wounded soldier.
Attention all personnel! Mildred has left strict instructions for the following tropes to be included:
- Anachronism Stew: When Father Mulcahy suggests the party for Col. Potter should have the theme of "Home Sweet Home", complete with a white picket fence, Winchester quips they should also have a pink flamingo on the lawn. Pink flamingo lawn ornaments weren't invented until 1957, and didn't gain popularity until the 1960's. Also played with, as Potter says he and Mildred have always differed in their opinions on picket fences: she would like to have one, while he would prefer a fence you can actually sit on.
- Bank Toaster: A variation - in her letter to Hawkeye, Mildred tells him while they burn the mortgage agreement, she'll be burning the free calendar the bank sent her.
- Brief Accent Imitation: Margaret adopts a southern accent when pretending to be the operator from Missouri who just can't seem to connect to Mildred when Col. Potter puts in a furious call to her.
- From a Certain Point of View: When Col. Potter demands what Mildred told Hawkeye in the letter, Hawkeye responds, "Don't tell Sherm." (B.J. adds, "And she outranks us by marriage") Technically, that is true, just not the entire truth.
- Major Injury Underreaction: Justified here - Lt. Pavelich, who brushes off the wound he got from the sniper while with his men, admits to the doctors he doesn't want the men to worry about the fact he can't move his legs.
- The Men First: According to Sgt. Lally - and from what we see - Lt. Pavelich is like this with his squad. Even though he's much younger than them, he doesn't throw his weight around, and when they first come to the camp, Lt. Pavelich makes sure the others get to eat. This is why, when Lt. Pavelich is wounded (and possibly paralyzed), Sgt. Lally and the others want to kill the North Korean sniper responsible after they capture him.
- Percussive Therapy: Father Mulcahy tries to convince Col. Potter to take out his anger with Mildred by working out on his (Father's) punching bag. According to Col. Potter, it doesn't work, even though he appreciates the exercise.
- Tear Up the Contract: Mildred asks the main characters to throw Colonel Potter a mortgage burning party to surprise him that she managed to pay off the mortgage early. To that end, she mailed the mortgage papers along with a special monogrammed lighter for Sherman to burn it with.
- That's an Order!: Played with: Lt. Pavelich's men think so highly of him because he knows even though he's an officer, he's vastly inexperienced compared to them, and is willing to listen (even act on) their knowledge. He gently orders Sgt. Lally to holster his weapon, saying "Don't make me pull rank."
- The Thing That Would Not Leave: In The Tag, when the party's over, Potter is about to go to bed when he realizes Winchester, who had been drinking long before anyone else had, has passed out on his bed, and won't budge.
- Wrong Assumption: When Hawkeye and B.J. admit Mildred's letter does have something to do with where she and Col. Potter will be spending their retirement, Col. Potter immediately jumps to conclusions and thinks Mildred has bought a houseboat, which means the others in the camp not only have to keep the surprise party under wraps, they also have to keep Col. Potter from running off the handle, as he hates the idea of Mildred buying a houseboat.
- Wrote a Good Fake Story: While keeping Potter distracted from his tent, Margaret gives him a long, mostly BS presentation about rearranging the nurses' shifts. To her surprise, Potter considers it a great idea and tells her to write it up.
