Helen and Martha are watching an ad on TV for a kit for raising fleas. It then turns out that Otis Weaselgraft came up with it, and he and Pablum have been trying unsuccessfully to make and sell toys. When Pablum complains about Martha spoiling their previous scheme, Otis gets the idea of dognapping her and starting a circus, pretending he's trained her to speak. Pablum points out that she would never work for Otis knowing he's a fraud, so Otis suggests finding a different dog. Pablum reveals that he's tried feeding alphabet soup to many dogs but it didn't work, and upon finding out that alphabet soup is what makes Martha able to speak, Weaselgraft gets an idea.
Later, the Lorraines (except Skits) are at the cafe, while Pablum steals 50 cans of Polish alphabet soup and changes their labels. Then that night, he steals some cans of English alphabet soup from the Lorraines' pantry and swaps them for the Polish ones. When they come home, he bolts out the doggy door.
The next day, Helen notes the oddity of the crooked soup can labels, and then there is a knock at the door. It is Otis Weaselgraft, in drag, speaking with a heavy European accent, and pretending to be an old woman named Olga Weaselpink. He pretends that "she" raised Martha, whose real name he claims is Sasha, in Poland, before she arrived at the pound. This puzzles Helen, Martha, and Mariella, so "Olga" claims that "she" used to own "Sasha" and her mother, but that "Sasha" was snatched away by a hawk on a picnic when she was a puppy. "Olga" then says that "she" is bringing "Sasha" home and holds up a crude drawing of "herself" and two dogs that are meant to be the parents. When Mariella points out that this is not a photo but a drawing, "Olga" claims that "she" is too poor to afford a camera. He then asks Martha if she remembers any Polish words, and she tries to deny, but says it in Polish ("nie").
Mariella has "Olga" leave so they can think it over, and, while she doesn't realise he's actually a man or that he isn't really Polish, she's still suspicious of "her". When Weaselgraft and Pablum leave in their van, Skits gives chase. Then, Helen and Mariella tell Danny about the incident, and he decides to call a lawyer. Skits follows Pablum and Weaselgraft back to their lair and listens to them discussing their plan, while the frauds make fake papers that claim Martha belongs to "Olga".
That night, Martha and the Lorraine kids are sad about the prospect of the former moving to Poland, but Helen still has hope that it's all a mistake. Skits comes through the doggy door looking worn out and explains the situation, but then Martha becomes only able to speak in Polish. Helen doesn't understand, but luckily, Alice has a Polish visitor named Christina.
Helen runs out to fetch Christina, when Otis Weaselgraft, again dressed as Olga, shows up with the police and the false document, claiming the Lorraines stole the dog. He leashes Martha, but luckily, Helen arrives in the nick of time, introduces Christina (whose last name is revealed to be "Lechowski"), and has her translate Martha. However, Christina doesn't speak very good English, so she goes to retrieve a dictionary. "Olga" claims that "she" can translate Martha, who is saying she wants to go home. However, "she" refers to Martha as a male dog, and the police confirm that the papers are for a male dog, while the Lorraines confirm that Martha is female. Then, Weaselgraft yells, "Pablum!", making the police realise who he is, and Christina shows up and translates what Martha was saying (that the soup was switched from English to Polish).
Thus, Weaselgraft is arrested, Martha stays, and when Martha eats her next bowl of soup, she gets her English vocabulary back.
This episode provides examples of
- Accessory-Wearing Cartoon Animal: Weaselgraft imagines Martha wearing clown accessories.
- Acting Out a Daydream: When Otis Weaselgraft imagines himself as a ringmaster, he starts bowing in real life.
- Alliterative Title: The farm for fleas advertised on TV is called Flea Farm.
- Buffy Speak: Otis Weaselgraft calls a camera a "picture machine".
- Collective Groan: Everyone groans when Christina lacks the English vocabulary to translate Martha.
- Continuity Nod: Otis describes his and Pablum's only good idea is the "mind control dog trick", which references when they mind-controlled dogs in "Perfectly Martha".
- Crying Critters: In the fake flashback, Martha/"Sasha"'s mother cries when her puppy is snatched by a hawk.
- Dramatic Irony: Helen wonders why the soup labels are on crooked, when Pablum has already been seen changing the labels.
- "Eureka!" Moment: When Pablum complains about Martha ruining their scam, Otis then gets the idea of using her in their next scam.
- Evil Laugh: Otis Weaselgraft laughs evilly when he finds out that soup is what makes Martha talk, then again after making false documents.
- Friend to Bugs: One TV ad advertises a kit for hatching and raising one's own fleas.
- Got Me Doing It: Helen briefly lapses into "Olga Weaselpink"'s fake Polish accent.
- Green-Eyed Monster: At one point, Danny complains about everyone in his family being bilingual (Helen, Mariella, and Jake with English and Spanish and Martha with English and Dog), but him not being.
- Incredibly Lame Fun: Helen and Martha watch an ad that advertises a flea-raising kit.Martha: "Who on Earth would think that was a good toy!?"
- Language Barrier: Invoked when Weaselgraft and Pablum make Martha eat Polish alphabet soup so she'll just speak Polish.
- Lost Pet Grievance:
- Discussed. Otis in his disguise as Olga claims that "she" cried when "Sasha" was taken away by the hawk, but he's just making it up.
- A preemptive example when Jake cries and Helen acts dolefully at the idea of Martha moving to Poland.
- Misplaced Wildlife: In-Universe, Otis Weaselgraft initially claims it was a crocodile that took Martha (or "Sasha" as he calls her) as a puppy, but then changes it to a hawk when Helen says, "A crocodile? In Europe?!".
- Rhetorical Question Blunder: When Weaselgraft says, "Who on Earth thought [the Flea Farm] was a good toy?!", Pablum responds, "Uh, you did, Otis."
- Shaped Like Itself: Martha yells, "Last one to the door is the last one in!".
- Speak in Unison:
- The kids in the commercial say, "We love you, Flea Farm!" in unison.
- When Weaselgraft (in disguise) claims that Martha used to live in Poland, Helen and Mariella say, "In Poland?!" in unison.
- When "Olga" says, "Come along, boy!", the Lorraines say all at once, "Boy!?".
- Speaks Fluent Animal: Discussed when Danny wants Martha to teach him a few "words" in Dog.
- Vocal Dissonance: Discussed. Weaselgraft (disguised as Olga) asks if Martha is a "little high-voiced boy doggie".
- You Can Talk?: Christina gasps in shock upon discovering that Martha can talk.
- You No Take Candle: When in disguise as "Olga Weaselpink", Otis Weaselgraft uses grammatically-incorrect sentences like "we cannot afford picture machine".
