It's a Bundyful Life is an episode from Season 4 of Married... with Children.
Part One: Al promises his family a Merry Christmas after telling them that he has money saved up in a Christmas club at the bank, but when the bank closes early for a raucous Christmas party, Al initially tries to make some quick cash by babysitting the children of shopping mothers, but after he depresses them with a warped version of Twas the Night Before Christmas, Al gets his money confiscated by force and left tied up in the shoe store on Christmas Eve.
Part Two: When Al comes home and tells the family he couldn't get the money for Christmas, Peg and the kids once again insult him for being a bad breadwinner and leave him home alone so they can go to Denny's for Christmas dinner. While fiddling with the Christmas lights, Al wishes that he were never born and gets electrocuted. When he wakes up, a loud, obnoxious man (voiced by loud, obnoxious '90s comedian Sam Kinison) who introduces himself as Al's guardian angel shows Al what life would be like if he were never born.
Tropes
- Alcohol-Induced Idiocy: Marcy gets positively hammered at her bank's party to the point of Cheek Copy, with copies circulated to her co-workers. By the time she stumbles home, Marcy doesn't remember doing it herself, but she says "that girl" is going to be frightfully embarrassed the next work day.
- Aside Comment: After witnessing the "Whoa Jablonsky!" moment, Al mouths the family's name in surprise during a close-up.
- Awful Wedded Life: Al's guardian angel was married when he was alive. The way he talks about it make Al and Peg look Happily Married.
- Bad Liar: Kelly to Al about her present.Kelly: Dad, I just got a call from the doctor and I'm dying. Yup, I've got Bulgaria. The doctor says it's terminus. I've got till Christmas morning, and the only known cure is a good present, you know, in the $250 to $275 price range?
- Bait-and-Switch:
- When Al complains about his day, he says, "The mall is filled with nothing but women and children. All day long, all I hear is, "Buy me this! I want this! I gotta have this!' And then there's the children."
- After hearing his story, Peg then replies, "Aw, honey, I know what will make you feel better...but I'll never leave you! Not in a million years!"
- Also after being left broke due to the bank closing and a last minute shopper comes into the shoe store with her bratty son, this inspires him to run a babysitting job at the store. We then see a close-up on the sign advertising his services...and a crowd of children tied up in a circle by Christmas tree garland.
- "Better if Not Born" Plot: Al is shown the world in which he was never born where it shows Peg as a loving and competent Housewife, Bud being respectful towards women (he tells Peg about how he was late coming home because he had to beat up some creeps who were catcalling girls), Kelly a smart and chaste college student, and having a charming and rich man played by Ted McGinley as their husband and father. This angers Al so much that he decides to live just to spite them for being the greedy and ungrateful bastards that they are.
- Big "NO!": The guardian angel upon learning who Al is.
- Book Ends: The beginning of the first part and the ending of the second part both have Kelly twirling her gum around her fingers and Bud playing with the straws he stuck up his nose.
- Casting Gag: Sam Kinison was the creators' basis for Al and was even offered the part. Though he turned it down, he's fittingly Al's guardian angel (and, had he not die, Kinison's guardian angel character would have been a recurring role on the show)
- Cheek Copy: With drink in hand, Marcy does this during her bank's party.
- Child Hater: Al turns out to be one by having rounded up a bunch of children whose mothers are busy shopping at the mall he works at, and feigning an illegal babysitting program to rake in some cash. He ties them all up with Christmas ribbons fending off their pleas for water and bathroom breaks. No wonder Kelly and Bud turned out so bad.
- Christmas Episode: The production crew did not spare expenses on the Christmas decorations and whole new set of costumes for the characters to wear. The Bundys' house is redecorated for Christmas, but only in the universe where Al was never born.
- Disproportionate Retribution: What Al believes will happen to him when he shows up at home without presents for the family:(In his head)Peg, Bud and Kelly: What did you get us for Christmas, Daddy?!Al: I'm sorry, family. The bank closed early. I have no money...you still love me, don't you?
- Flat Joy: When Peg announces to the kids that Al is home from work, they both say "Oh" in barely audible and unenthusiastic manners.
- From Bad to Worse: Customers show up at Al's store just as he's about to close. The first woman says she buying shoes for her mother, an old woman moving at a snail's pace. After they finally choose a pair and it's time to pay, the old woman declares that she doesn't have the money and that her mother has it. Cue her calling to her unseen mother, who is clearly unseen because she's moving even slower. All of which tells us and Al that it's going to be forever before he gets out of there.
- Hoist by His Own Petard: As retribution for tying up a dozen children in a Christmas tree garland, the mothers beat up Al and tie him up with that garland.
- Hypocrite: When Al asks his angel for more wishes such as beautiful women and money, his angel scoffs at him to stop being so greedy. Then the angel adds that the wishes are coming out of his own pockets.
- Initiation Ceremony: According to the guardian angel, Moses holds a party every Christmas. Every year, the angels wait patiently for the unaware new guy to take a dive off the high board because they know Moses will part the pool water.
- It's a Wonderful Plot: Just the name itself tells you that this episode is a retooling of the Christmas classic but with Married... with Children characters.
- Jerk with a Heart of Jerk: Ironic for being a guardian angel, Al's angel is selfish and only cares about himself, he has no sympathy for Al at all, only trying to find some sort of half-assed excuse for Al to desire to actually live so that he can go up to the clouds just for a fancy car and to get revenge on his ex-wife.
- Karma Houdini Warranty: Al refuses to let the rest of his family grow up to become Nouveau Riche and live happy, wealthy well-nourished lives complaining they don't deserve to thrive at the cost of his own existence. Therefore, Al decides he wants to live after all and wishes himself back to life, thus restoring everything back to normalcy.
- Kick the Dog: Peg to Al about a lonely Marcy:"Do you realize how many people with lives a lot better than hers commit suicide at this time of year?"
- Know-Nothing Know-It-All: Al's angel.
- Large Ham: Al's angel surely screams a lot. (It is Sam Kinison after all.)
- Laser-Guided Karma:
- Al's guardian angel is an inconsiderate jerk to say the least (given that this show takes place in a Crapsack World). At the end, the angel is denied access into Heaven because his ticket was in his luggage which got lost on the way, and he is pushed off the clouds and we hear him screaming which indicates he's fallen back to earth.
- Al himself gets a bit of this when he decides to run a paid daycare so the mothers can go shopping in peace. He instead ties up the children with garland and even sends one to the "bathroom dungeon". Once the parents find out what he did, they hit him with their purses and tie him up and take back all of their cash.
- Lover Tug of War: Between Kelly and Bud over Al.Bud: (sees Kelly begging Al for money) I thought I'd find you here. What are you doing?
Kelly: Loving daddy! What are you doing?
Bud: Saying hi to the man who gave me life and his name! MAKE WAY! (tries to get to Al)
Kelly: NO! HE'S MY DADDY, NO WAY!! (shoves away Bud, presses hard on Al and kisses Al multiple times) - Momma's Boy: Steve towards his mother. He says his mother made Marcy a list of how to take care of him, but he was stuck washing his own hair one week into marriage. Steve's mother even personally went to pick him up for the visit.
- Nice Guy: Norman Jablonsky, who dotes on his family and buys them a mansion for Christmas. Al is naturally disgusted by this.
- Obnoxious In-Laws: It's discussed that Steve's mother hates Marcy, even hanging her coat on her whenever she's around. Al alludes to Peg not caring for his mother, either.
- The Only One Allowed to Defeat You: Peg shoos away Kelly and Bud beseeching Al for money for Christmas presents... just so she can mooch off Al for money herself!
- Or Was It a Dream?: After waking up from the Alternate-reality where he doesn't exist, the viewer may assume that it was all just a dream Al was having. Then in his own thoughts Al hears his guardian angel up in heaven being denied access and pushed off.
- No Good Deed Goes Unpunished: Just before Al heads to the bank to withdraw the money for gifts, an elderly mother and daughter come in wanting to buy some shoes. He decides to let them in, they eat up his time and the bank closes before he can get the money.
- Plot Hole: Peg in the alternate reality (where Al was never born) behaves as a proper housewife and mother, even though she was always a sloppy Gold Digger before she met Al.
- Psychopathic Womanchildren: Al complains his mall is packed with these on Christmas.Al: The mall is filled with nothing but women and children. All day long, all I hear is, "Buy me this! I want this! I gotta have this!' And then there's the children.
- Rage Against the Heavens: The guardian angel over having to help Al.Guardian angel: COULD YOU STOP PLAYING NINTENDO UP THERE FOR A MINUTE?! WHAT KIND OF A MESS HAVE YOU GOTTEN ME INTO?! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO ME?!
- Rage Breaking Point: Even referred to as such by Al when he says, "what broke the camel's back". Al gets revenge on his greedy, money-grubbing wife and kids for enjoying a wealthy, happy life without him by wishing himself back into existence so that they wind up the poverty-ridden food-insecure money-insecure lower class louts they've always been.
- Really Gets Around: When the Peg of the alternate reality says she saved herself for marriage, an indignant Al remarks, "Oh, c'mon, the football team retired her jersey!"
- Revenge: Al gets this on Peg and the kids by wishing he did exist so that they never end up meeting that rich man Jablonsky who gives them everything they can want and so are stuck as a poverty-ridden family with no food and no presents on Christmas.
- Sarcasm Mode: Al after seeing how better off his family is without him.Al: Well, gee, this was fun. What do we do next? Go back in time to the day I should've been conceived and watch my dad invent the condom?
- Sickeningly Sweethearts: Seeing the alternate Peg and her husband interact prompts Al to remark that he can actually taste bile.
- Suddenly Shouting: The guardian angel. He was played by Sam Kinison, after all.
- The Twelve Spoofs of Christmas: Lampshaded at the beginning of the episode when the family (once again) snipe at Al for the usual happenings in their lives:Bud: Five bowls a-flushing?Peg: Four 'roids a-throbbin'?Kelly: Three nosehairs waving?Bud: Two children starving?Peg: (singing in the tune of "Five Golden Rings") One untouched wife?
- Unwitting Instigator of Doom: Peggy encourages Marcy to just go crazy during her bank's Christmas party. She takes Peggy up on that advice and does exactly that getting completely drunk, so much though that she's too out of it to let Al into the bank even though they're still supposed to be open for a few minutes, thus keeping him from withdrawing the money for presents for the family.
- We Win, Because You Didn't: Al is happy in the end simply because everyone else has to suffer from his existence, and receives a satisfying Christmas for once even if he's still without any food and money.
