A wealthy private school offers Joseph the chance to attend as part of their football program.
- Jerkass Has a Point: While Dale is no saint this episode, he makes a good point when he says that Hank only cares that Joseph is at the private school because it would screw up Tom Landry's football season.
- Oh, Crap!: Hank is startled when Dale accurately calls him out on not actually giving a crap about Joseph, asking if Hank's not more concerned about the middle school's football team losing its star player. Stymied, Hank takes the high road by saying it should still be Joseph's choice.
- Well-Intentioned Extremist: Dale does come off as a massive dick in this episode, but it's made clear that he genuinely wants Joseph to attend private school because he believes Joseph deserves the best school available. Even if he's enjoying the perks that comes with it, Dale quickly demonstrates he'd be willing to give Joseph up to a better family because he believes Joseph deserves the best.
- Worst News Judgment Ever: Even in football obsessed Texas, it's hard to believe that a middle-school athlete's football career warrants a magazine article and a televised news conference.
