Captain No Kiddin is a 1959 Felix the Cat cartoon and the 10th episode of the Felix the Cat (Joe Oriolo) series.
Felix is driving a pirate boat all by himself, with his Magic Bag sitting nearby. Felix gets tired and turns the bag into an armchair so he can relax while he steers the ship. At his lab, Professor is watching Felix through a monitor, and decides to go after him. He grabs a pirate disguise from the closet and uses a Teleporter device to get to Felix's ship. Professor appears on the ship in disguise and gets Felix's attention, introducing himself as Captain No Kiddin. They play a quick game of Wheel of Fortune with the ships wheel, but Felix loses and the Captain orders Felix to hand over the Magic Bag. Felix refuses, saying he didn't bet, and Captain admits he has a point, saying he's too young to gamble, so he bets for him. Felix refuses again, and Captain challenges him to a sword duel for the bag. They duel each other, but No Kiddin keeps Felix on the ropes, cornering him on the ships bow and knocking the blade out of his hand. Kiddin uses a winch to try and raise the bow, but it backfires and sends him spinning. Kiddin then peeks into the cargo bay and summons a new threat, an octopus named 8-Ball, and it begins chasing Felix. The octopus then turns one of this tentacles into a lasso and catches Felix.
Felix breaks free and runs around the octopus, getting it confused and tying up its tentacles in a knot. Captain No Kiddin pops up and offers Felix his hand in friendship and the offer to be his first mate. Felix tries to shake hands on the offer, but Kiddin pulls out a lobster to try and decapitate Felix. Felix evades its claws and clips up on the ships ropes, but the lobsters claws cut it and send Felix flying and a sandbag falling onto the captain. Felix is sitting on the ships mast when Kiddin climbs up and runs after him, only for him to trip and fall into a barrel of tar below. Felix slides down the rope just as the captain emerges from the barrel, caked in tar, and continues the chase. While running, Felix eyes a bucket of liquid soap and spills it, making the Captain slip and slide into a rope, while leaves him hanging by his boot from the ship mast. Kiddin begs Felix to save him, and Felix rushes to grab a pillow, putting it under him just as the rope holding him snaps. He's saved, but covering in feathers as a result. The captain grabs his sword and chases Felix up the mast again. He ends up cutting the rope holding part of it up though, which sends him falling onto the plank and back into the air. Just nearby, a bird is flying and sees the feather-laden Professor, who the bird thinks is a baby and carries off happily. Felix, victorious, says "Righty-O!" and laughs as the cartoon irises out.
Tropes:
- Absentminded Professor: Professor is so absentminded, that he says he can't even remember his own name."I'll get that little Magic Bag, or my name isn't...now, what is my name? (cough) Funny, I know it as well as my own name!"
- Broad Strokes: The episode starts with Felix driving a pirate ship by himself, the same situation we last saw him at in the previous episode "Ghostly Concert." However, unlike the previous episode, Felix's Magic Bag is present and Professor is at his lab instead of being in the middle of the ocean.
- Covered in Gunge: Professor gets covered in tar (and later feathers) by accident.
- Defeat Means Friendship: Subverted. Captain No Kiddin offers Felix his hand in friendship after 8-Ball is defeated, but when Felix tries to shake hands, he pulls out a lobster to attack him.
- Knotty Tentacles: Felix uses this tactic to beat 8-Ball the octopus.
- Not-So-Harmless Villain: Professor's sword duel with Felix is one of the rare instances where he actually manages to keep Felix on his toes, and he even manages to corner him on the ships bow and knock his sword out of his hand.
- Off with His Head!: Kiddin tries to use a giant lobster to decapitate Felix, even commanding the lobster "Off with his head!"
- Save the Villain: Felix saves Captain No Kiddin from being hurt in a fall with a pillow when the rope that's holding him snaps.
- Shout-Out: Captain No-Kiddin is an obvious reference to the real life pirate Captain Kidd. He also makes a reference to the Wheel of Fortune.
- Tar and Feathers: The Professor ends up this way by accident.
