"This is freestyle poetry slam time!"
We play through Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl! Joz loses a drinking contest! Carolyn goes for a swim! Pitr crotch-slams an officer!
Episodes 68-70 of Film Reroll. Based on the 2003 film.
At some point during The Golden Age of Piracy, Elizabeth Swann — the daughter of the local governor — is set to marry Commodore James Norrington in defiance of her will. Said Will — Will Turner — is a blacksmith who has also fallen in love with her. However, the town is attacked by undead pirates who kidnap Elizabeth, forcing Will to team up Jack Sparrow, a former pirate captain with some interesting knowledge about the blacksmith’s late father.
The campaign is Denser and Wackier than the (already pretty wacky) original film. It also — while not necessarily contradicting them — avoids making any explicit references to the sequels, being exclusively based on the first movie.
Starring Jocelyn "Joz" Vammer as Captain Jack Sparrow, Carolyn Faye Kramer as Elizabeth Swann, Kara Straitnote as Will Turner and Paulo Quiros as the Dungeon Master.
Followed by Practical Magic.
Tropes:
- Accidental Hand-Hold: Between Will and Elizabeth during the latter's rescue.
- A Minor Kidroduction: The Rerollers speculate half-seriously whether the film's combination of this and a Dream Intro implies that Elizabeth went into a coma for eight years, and what this would mean for her upcoming marriage.
- Bavarian Fire Drill: Elizabeth tries to trick the crew of the Black Pearl into thinking that she's a pirate queen who will rip their balls off with her bare hands if they don't release her and leave the city. They don't even come close to believing her. Not even the monkey is convinced. This does however make them decide not to harm her, if only because they're endlessly confused by her antics.
- Building Swing: Jack tries to pull this off on the Black Pearl, but cuts the wrong rope, which just makes a sandbag fall on another pirate's head.
- Call-Back:
- When Kara tries out her accent, she slips back into her Randall voice and asks if the pirates have any good hats to steal.
- When the Black Pearl reaches the island, the Rerollers wonder if they've arrived at Isla Nublar again.
- When Elizabeth says that her father fought in the war, Kara asks if Owl was with him.
- Canon Discontinuity: Paulo makes a point that the campaign is only based on the first movie, and will not include any material from the sequels. They still make some references to them, however.
- Captain Oblivious: After crit-failing to write Mrs. Doubtfire, Will becomes incapable of seeing through even the most Incredibly Conspicuous Drag.
- Chekhov's Gun: Elizabeth's clay dildo, which she uses to gag a captured pirate.
- Comically Inept Healing: Jack has Elizabeth bind Will's wound with a piece of cloth, but she doesn't have the medical knowledge to do so properly. However, this is just a ruse on Jack's part to get Will's blood, which proves useful during the eventual cermony.
- Contrived Coincidence
- During the pirate attack, a cannon ball just happens to fly into the prison and smash open a jailcell, allowing the prisoners to escape. Sadly, it's not the cell occupied by our protagonists...
- While attempting to pull a Break Them by Talking on Barbossa, Elizabeth actually manages to correctly guess that he was given up by his mother and raised in an orphanage. Barbossa is shaken by this, but not enough to throw him off guard completely.
- Darkest Hour: When Barbossa accidentally stabs the treasure chest during the climax, the curse not only seems to become permanent, but the undead start to rapidly decay and fall apart. And this is after Jack and Will have fallen victims to the curse, themselves. Fortunately, they figure out how to reverse it and change everybody back to human again.
- Failed a Spot Check: During the Dream Intro, everyone somehow miss the huge pirate ship in the fog, being too busy rescuing the young Will Turner.
- Go Through Me: Will tries to pull this trick on Barbossa, who is unfortunately more than happy to shoot him. He only survives because of Elizabeth's intervention.
- Healing Factor: Barbossa demonstrates this when his head gets blown up, only to reform itself later.
- Heel–Face Door-Slam: Barbossa. It doesn't get much more slammy than being shot dead by Jack Sparrow.
- Hero with Bad Publicity: Elizabeth thinks she hears the crew of the Black Pearl call Will Turner a pirate, and asks him if it's true, (which he is very offended by.) It's implied that they were actually talking about Will's father, Bill Turner.
- Hotter and Sexier: The campaign is far more openly explicit than the film, almost bordering on being a Sex Comedy at times.
- Hurricane of Euphemisms: Between Will Turner and Elizabeth Swann, befitting their Belligerent Sexual Tension.
- Literal Cliffhanger: Rather than fainting and falling off the cliff like in the movie, Elizabeth ends up losing her balance and grabbing onto the ledge. While she doesn't have the strength to pull herself up and ends up falling into the water anyway, staying conscious makes her able to safely swim back to the shore.
- Look, a Distraction!: Jack distracts "Leonard", allowing Will to stab him through the legs.
- Malicious Slander: Elizabeth tries to ruin Barbossa's reputation by loudly confronting him with all the good deeds he supposedly commited. Then she says that he had a lover who took her life because he left her.
- Mistaken Identity: Much like in the movie, Barbossa believes Elizabeth to be the Turner child. Only in the last episode does he learn that Will is the son of Bill Turner... and the grandson of Jeremiah Rosendahl, (who changed his name.)
- Mundane Utility: The Rerollers discuss whether turning into a skeleton would be an efficiant birth control method.
- Named by the Adaptation: Norrington's guards are given names like Jeremy, Donald and Mario.
- Nigh-Invulnerable: The ghostly pirates, making them far harder for Jack and Will to deal with.
- No Periods, Period: Averted. There is a roll to determine whether or not Elizabeth is on her period after she claims that to be the case.
- Pirate Parrot: There is one, and it sounds like Mickey Mouse, leading to additional impressions of Goofy and Donald Duck.
- Reports of My Death Were Greatly Exaggerated: Just about everyone of Jack's old crewmen believe him to be dead, and are quite shocked to learn that they were wrong.
- Sexy Discretion Shot: It's pointed out that none of the nudity is actually shown on camera, with Kara even "forbidding" the audience from imagining it any other way.
- Shout-Out:
- "This is the tale of Captain Jack Sparrow."
- When hearing about something appearing through the fog, Kara wonders if it's Céline Dion. It's actually the Black Pearl.
- The Rerollers put Tinkerbell — a character from another story about pirates — on the Black Pearl as a one-off gag.
- Sick Captive Scam: Elizabeth pretends to faint, slowing the pirates down by forcing them to carry her. Then she tickles her carriers and flashes her boobs, before pretending to be an Aztec goddess.
- The Starscream: Mentioned by name when Barbossa worries that Jack would commot mutiny were he to be made first mate.
- Team Power Walk: Jack, Will and Elizabeth power walk after escaping from the pirates' cell. The Rerollers even sing a slow Triumphant Reprise of the "He's a Pirate" Leitmotif for the occasion.
- The Tooth Hurts: Jack accidentally breaks a tooth when while trying to bite a metal coin in two.
- Toilet Humor: While locked up on the Black Pearl, Jack and Will start peeing on each other, which quickly turns into a Beam-O-War. Barbossa then walks in, stares at them for a bit, and then exits the room in horror.
- Tuckerization:
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Jon Luther David returns from Halloween 2, this time as a man in a tavern who ends up competing against Jack in a drinking contest. - Kara also does this, by complete accident no less. When deciding on a name for one of the women in the tavern, she ends up going with "Jocelyn", because that was simply the first name that came to her mind.
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- Wife Husbandry: The players accuse Norrington of being a groomer, pointing out that he's significantly older than Elizabeth and implicitly watched her grow up before trying to marry her.
