I smell wee!
When Mrs. Doyle wins a competition where the prize is an evening tea with Eoin McLove, an Irish TV personality beloved of older women, Ted and the rest of the parochial house must endure Eoin, who turns out to be a lot less agreeable than his TV persona. Unfortunately, word of Eoin's presence gets out and Ted and co find themselves besieged in a parody of most zombie films.
Tropes featured in this episode:
- Affectionate Parody: Of a zombie movie, with old ladies instead of zombies.
- Bait-and-Switch: Ted and Dougal are trying to figure a way to get Eoin out of the house without the women seeing. Jack suddenly leans forward in his chair, trying to say something, but then sits back, having forgotten what he was about to say. A few moments later, he leans forward again, getting Ted and Dougal's attention as they wait with bated breath for what he has to say...Jack: DRINK! FECK! ARSE! GIRLS!Ted: Yes, thank you, Father! I think we need more concrete ideas than that!
- Barbie Doll Anatomy: Eoin doesn't have a willy.
- Blatant Lies: Ted catches Dougal eating jam from the jar after the latter stopped Eoin from doing the same. Dougal tells Ted that he was just cleaning the spoon.
- Cannot Keep a Secret: Mrs. Doyle inadvertantly lets slip the date of Eoin's visit to Craggy Island. Mrs. Boyle, her friend who hears, promises not to tell and then promptly travels the length and breadth of Craggy Island spreading the word.
- Cell Phones Are Useless: Parodied with the house suddenly getting spotty cell phone reception at the exact moment the old women appear.
- Chekhov's Gun: William Shatner's Tek Wars.
- Cloudcuckoolander's Minder: Eoin's long suffering PA, Patsy, definitely falls somewhere between this and acting like a mother trying to deal with a misbehaving child.
- Cut Phone Lines: Parodied. A bunch of old women somehow manage to cut all phone connections to the parochial house.
- Deus ex Machina: The rooster.Mrs Doyle: (after hearing the rooster call) Ladies! It's after seven o'clock. I think your husbands might be wondering where their breakfasts are.
- Disproportionate Retribution: Eoin takes this to a whole other level.Ted: Eoin! Don't eat the jam from the jar!Eoin: Leave me alone, I can have you killed.
- Freudian Excuse: Eoin has this for his obnoxious behaviour:Eoin: I have no willy.
- Goo Goo Getup: Eoin on the cover of one of his albums, arms up-stretched with an imploring look on his face.
- Here We Go Again!: Judging from Patsy's reaction of "Oh no, not again", this is not the first time Eoin's been cornered by a mob of women.
- Horrifying the Horror: Even Jack is terrified of the marauding old ladies.
- In-Universe Factoid Failure: The episode ends with Ted appearing on the quiz section of Eoin's TV show. He gets asked what Pope John Paul II's name was before he became Pope — and after struggling to come up with an answer, feebly guesses "Jim". The correct answer was Karol Józef Wojtyla. This would have been particularly embarrassing for Ted in real life, as the Pope is supposed to be his boss, something Eoin makes reference to when he suggests that people would think the question was rigged in Ted's favour.
- Literal-Minded: Ted is reading a book and suggests Dougal do the same. So Dougal starts reading Ted's book over his shoulder.
- Loony Fans: The parochial house is surrounded by enough female middle-aged fans of Eoin to fill a concert hall. Their presence is the reason Eoin and Patsy are forced to stay with the priests.
- Manchild: Eoin McLove. He makes Dougal look responsible.
- Men Can't Keep House: Apparently the women of Craggy Island are married to these people. Hilariously, one of them burned down a house washing a cup and another lost a leg making the bed.
- Move Along, Nothing to See Here: Ted says this when the women first try to approach Eoin:Ted: Ladies... Go on home now. Nothing to see here.
- No Celebrities Were Harmed: Eoin McLove was based off of popular Irish entertainer Daniel O'Donnell, who was also well-known for his soft image and songs about his 'mammy'.
- Noodle Incident:
- Ted and Mrs. Doyle mention, while trying to convince the women to go home, that one woman's husband tried to wash a cup without her and burned down the house, and another tried to make the bed by himself and lost a leg.
- Mrs Doyle starts talking about something her husband did before cutting herself off and saying "I've said too much."
- Also, Patsy's reaction to the mob of women implies that she and Eoin have been in a similar situation before.
- Oh, No... Not Again!: Patsy's reaction to the mob of women.
- Pass the Popcorn: When the old ladies break through the front door to try and grab at Eoin, while Ted, Dougal and Patsy try to break him free, Jack fetches a chair and a drink and sits back to watch.
- Rule of Three: Jack finally blurts out his catchphrases on the third attempt, as seen above.
- Shaped Like Itself:Ted: We need something that will keep them away from the house, something to distract them... but what?Dougal: A diversion! That's what it's called, a diversion!
- This Is Gonna Suck: When the crowd of women gets close enough to them, Ted realises that there is no way he, Dougal, Eoin and Patsy are going to be able to get through without someone grabbing Eoin, and decides they should retreat back into the house.
- Too Incompetent to Operate a Blanket: Apparently many of the men of the island are too incompetent to wash cups or make the bed. Also, Eoin is unable to open doors without help, among other things.
- Writers Cannot Do Math: More like “Dumb Priests Cannot Do Maths”. Dougal claims there are seventeen million women outside the house, which is too large for an area the size of Craggy Island or for Ireland as a whole. Admittedly, he does say he’s not good at judging the size of crowds just beforehand.
- Whole-Plot Reference: The episode's title and some of the scenes are a parody of Night of the Living Dead.
- Zombie Apocalypse: Spoofed with old women in the place of zombies.
...Jim?
