Original air date: 8/8/2001 (produced in 2000)
Production code: 2ACX-22
When Peter finds out that Chris has a bigger penis than him, he questions his own manhood. Meanwhile, Meg becomes a member of the flag girl squad and is bullied by the popular kids. Originally aired August 8, 2001.
Tropes:
- Analogy Backfire: When Peter is feeling inadequate, Lois tries to reassure him that she cares as much about the size of his penis as he does about the size of her breasts, which results in Peter screaming "Oh my god!" and running off. Apparently, Peter likes his wife having a big chest.
- Artistic License – Biology: Plantains are actually larger than bananas, not smaller.
- Big Ball of Violence: Parodied. British comic strip character Andy Capp is seen playing darts with the boys at The Drunken Clam. His wife note then shows up and they both get into one of these. Quagmire then comes out of the bathroom and doesn't notice the ball before he gets sucked into it and spat back out.Quagmire: What the hell, did I just get laid?
- Bigger Is Better in Bed: Chris has this, which causes Peter to become jealous and angry of him, which kicks off the whole plot.Peter: Hey, Chris, what's with your leg? ...Oh my God! That's not your leg!
- Bittersweet Ending: Meg is humiliated twice, but Lois gets back at Connie and her friends by hiring Quagmire to scar them for life. Also, Peter and Chris repair their father-son relationship.
- Black Comedy Rape: Quagmire thinking Connie D'Amico is 18 after she said she was 16...then thinking she wants a three-way with her mom when she calls her mom for help. It's unknown if Quagmire actually goes through with it.
- Blunt "Yes": When Lois asks if Meg would rather forget what the popular kids did to her instead of having a revenge, Meg simply says she would.
- Compensating for Something: To make himself feel better, Peter bought a long exotic (and phallus-shaped) car. Unfortunately, he ended up in a car accident where it was squashed small. Even worse, a bus full of models passed by and laughed at the sight.Peter: Ow, my pride.
- Green-Eyed Monster: The plot starts with Peter being envious over his son having a bigger penis than his.
- Held Back in School: It's revealed that Peter never finished fourth grade before this episode. When his life flashes before his eyes, he's shown passing fourth grade as an adult. Right before the episode started.
- Kick the Dog: After Meg is pelted with rancid meat and humiliated by Connie and her friends, Peter takes amusement to this and throws a hotdog at her which hits her in the face.
- Connie and her popular friends laughing and commenting about tricking Meg into kissing a pig.
- Luminescent Blush: Meg has this when she picked by Connie to kiss Doug in the closet for "Seven Minutes In Heaven".
- Mama Bear: Lois helps Meg get into Connie's friendship circle to get revenge for their earlier Kick the Dog treatment. Even when Meg changes her mind but gets humiliated again, Lois cares enough to provide an alternative plan: use Quagmire to traumatize Connie.
- My Life Flashed Before My Eyes: Upon believing he'll be killed by the animal he's hunting, Peter sees the several times he had to repeat fourth grade, one time during his teens where he went to the doctor's to get rid of his head lice, and the time he finally passed, which happened just before he went hunting.
- Pun-Based Title: On the phrase "And the winner is..."
- Revenge: Lois sets one against the popular kids for humiliating Meg.
- Ship Tease: Meg blushes around Doug before she is humiliated by Connie and her friends.
- Uncertain Doom: We don't know if Quagmire goes through with the plan to "scar [Connie and her friends] for life".
- Unsportsmanlike Gloating: Though Chris to too simple-minded to take notice of it, Peter constantly cheers and gloats for beating him out at even the simplest of things. It takes seeing Chris is more well-endowed than him to finally knock Peter off his high horse.
- Yank the Dog's Chain: After winning over Connie and the popular kids, Meg bails on her mom's plan for revenge to enjoy the party and she gets picked to kiss Doug in the "Seven Minutes In Heaven"...only to be humiliated again by being photographed and tricked into kissing a pig.
