Original air date: 1/18/2002 (produced in 2001)
Production code: 3ACX-03
Brian, depressed over dating nothing but bimbos, gets busted on a DUI after a night at the planetarium and is sentenced to care for an elderly shut-in who used to be famous. Meanwhile, Peter decides to grow a beard so he can be manly like Grizzly Adams, but ends up housing three rare birds and raising them better than his own children.
"Brian Wallows and Peter's Swallows" contains examples of:
- Bittersweet Ending: Seth Macfarlane considered this (at the time of the DVD release) the one episode that contained "real human emotion". Essentially, Pearl dies, yet gets to spend her last moments imagining what her life would be with Brian. Peter, meanwhile, has to release his birds, yet does so knowing they grew up.
- Bowdlerization: Following the 9/11 attacks, two parts from the "You've Got a Lot to See" musical number were edited on FOX. The DVD version and the cable reruns on Cartoon Network and TBS are uncut.
- The World Trade Center towers were digitally removed.
- The tarot card showing that the world may end at the hands of a drunken George W. Bush had George W. Bush replaced with Jerry Springer on the set of his notorious talk show.
- Brick Joke: At the laser show, Mayor West is seen in love with his right hand. Later, after Brian's court case is dismissed, West and his hand arrive in court to be wedded.
- Chekhov's Gun: The virtual reality glasses from the show Peter and the guys go to plays a very important role late in the episode.
- Characterization Marches On: Brian considers intelligence and compatibility to be by far the most important factors in his relationships. This is a far cry from his later self who will pretty much get with any woman he finds attractive.
- Commercial Break Cliffhanger: Some versions (mostly FOX's version) of this episode cut to commercial just before Brian saves Pearl from hanging herself (the DVD and Cartoon Network version doesn't do this).
- Disappointed in You: Joe tells Brian this when he arrests him.
- Disney Acid Sequence: "You've Got a Lot to See".
- Diving Save: Brian saves Pearl from hanging herself.
- Double Entendre: In a Cutaway Gag, we see Brian selling food at a Hickory Farms store at the mall asking a man if he wants to taste his "smoked meat log", which gets him punched in the face.
- Endangered Pest: Peter grows a beard and somehow has a bird of an endangered species make a nest in it. It causes a bit of trouble for him when he goes to watch a film at a movie theater.
- Fanfare: The musical accompaniment for "You've Got a Lot to See".
- Hakuna Matata: "You've Got a Lot To See" has a number of rather questionable problems with society pointed out by Brian, but the songs tone and lyrics don't portray them as negative, but rather as interesting, and genuinely worth following if only because of how absurd and interesting the way the future is going.
- Hypocritical Humor: Lampshaded when the ornithologist who tells Peter that his bird is endangered points out the irony of him going to a restaurant that exclusively sells poultry.
- Joe arrests Brian for drunk driving, yet lets Peter (who's drunker) drive after catching Brian.
- Interrupted Suicide: Brian rushes back to Pearl's home to apologize to her only to see her about to jump from a chair stool with a noose around her neck. He stops her just in time, but she still tries to rebuff his attempts at preventing her suicidal actions only for Pearl to be given a heartfelt speech about her opera singing from Brian causing her to change her mind for the good.
- I Wished You Were Dead: Brian told Pearl to drop dead, only to feel bad when he finds out about her past and comes back just in time to stop her from hanging herself.
- Informed Species: An ornithologist identifies the birds in Peter's beard as white-rumped swallows. That's a real bird, but the ones in the show look nothing like it.
- Interspecies Romance: Brian and Pearl. One simulation in the virtual reality scene is them having children both being humans and puppies.
- Just Testing You: Pearl yells that she fell and can't get up and Brian comes to her aid, but it turned out to be a test.Pearl: Five point three seconds! I could have been dead by now!
- List Song: "You've Got a Lot To See"
- Look Both Ways: Brian convinces Pearl to leave her house for the first time in decades, but she gets run over by a truck almost instantly.
- Mood Whiplash: After Pearl dies.Dr. Hartman: Hey, who wants to see a dead body!?
(Brian glares at Dr. Hartman)- Another happens immediately after Brian's "The Reason You Suck" Speech to Pearl. He storms over to the door to leave, but he can't get it open. He calmly asks Pearl how to get the door open, and she explains it calmly too before opening the door for him.
- My God, What Have I Done?: Brian feels this way after he learns of Pearl's former life as a singer and feels guilty after yelling at her, and again later on for letting Pearl go outside only for her to get run over.
- Real Time: The scene with the de-lousing powder.Pearl: Here's a warning, it's gonna burn like hell in 30 seconds.(exactly 30 seconds later)Pearl: By the way, it's been 30 seconds.(Brian screams in agony)
- "The Reason You Suck" Speech: Brian delivers a brief but harsh one of these to Pearl after her cranky behaviour makes him lose his temper.Brian: That's it! I've had enough of you, YOU OLD HAG! You are nothing but a stupid, miserable old bitch who just wants the world to be as miserable as she is! Well, why don't you just do the world a great big favor and DROP DEAD?!
- He later regrets this after learning of Pearl's ill-fated singing career in a TV documentary and rushes back to her house to apologize, only to find her about to hang herself and stops her in the nick of time. He convinces her that he thought her singing was beautiful and she has a change of heart.
- Ridiculously High Relationship Standards: In the Music Man parody scene, Lois calls out Brian for having high standards for the women he dates, who are often young but dumb bimbos.
- Shout-Out:
- Lois and Brian have a conversation while one of her piano students plays a scale in a scene reminiscent of The Music Man.
- Peter watches The Life and Times of Grizzly Adams on TV, in which Grizzly and his bear Ben are gay lovers.
- "It's great to learn, CAUSE KNOWLEDGE IS POWER!"
- Speak Now or Forever Hold Your Peace: When Mayor West marries his right hand in court, the judge asks this and West raises his left hand.Mayor West: Quiet down! You had your chance!
- Status Cell Phone: Brian sings a song about how society has changed since the 50's. He sings a line about a businessman with a cell phone and how busy his life must be, then mentioning how the phone will give him a tumor, but his doctor will see it and admit how cool he is.Those fancy cellphones, make people mumble "gee whiz, look how important he is, his life must rule!"He'll get a tumor, but on the surgery day, the doc will see it and say "Man, you must really be cool!"
