Airdate: May 19, 2013
After Peter loses during his audition for America's Got Talent, Chris befriends a girl on the plane ride home who turns out to be the daughter of one of the richest families in Rhode Island. After being invited to brunch, Peter ends up getting Lois' father, Carter, thrown out of his beloved country club.
"No Country Club for Old Men" contains examples of:
- Ass Shove: Peter sits on a harmonica in the bath, and it gets stuck up his ass. He then farts a song during a talent show audition, only for the harmonica to dislodge at the worst possible time.
- Eye Scream: One of Peter's pranks on Carter is somehow replacing one of his eyes with a gag exploding eye. As Carter is midway through talking about how that's not even possible, it suddenly explodes out of his eye socket.
- Never My Fault:
- Carter blames Peter for getting him kicked out of the club, despite the fact that Carter brought it upon himself when he was trying to suck up to Mr. Barrington and ended up making a fool of himself while Peter had nothing to do with it.
- Lois asks Peter for money so she can get a haircut. Peter insists on cutting her hair himself to save money. Then, when he botches it..."You look like crap, what happened?"
- Real After All: In order to sneak back into the club, Peter and Carter disguise themselves as "Viscount James Earl Tennisracquet and the Duke of LaCrosseteam". After Peter is thrown out later on, the two mentioned men turn out to actually exist.
- Waxing Lyrical: "Is that him in the corner? Is that him in the spotlight?"
