The fifty-fifth episode of the first season of Dennis the Menace (1986).
Lights, Camera, Auction
Dennis goes with Mr. Wilson to an auction where he hopes to get a birthday gift for his wife. Various mishaps cause him to end up winning an ugly statue, which Mrs. Wilson doesn't like. He throws it in the trash, but a couple of sanitation workers recognize it as an antique worth a fortune and take it away. Dennis hopes they collected more valuable junk, so he decides to open their truck, resulting in about a ton of trash getting dumped on Mr. Wilson.
Boy Ahoy
The Wilsons leave for a cruise, but Dennis stays on the ship too long and gets taken along for the ride. He's regarded as a stowaway, forcing Mr. Wilson to hide him. But after losing his clothes and forced to wear his wife's dress and caught with Dennis, Mr. Wilson is the one accused of being the stowaway and is made to work onboard the ship. When it returns to dock and the captain realizes the misunderstanding, he gives the Wilsons free tickets on another cruise. However, the shipping company also gives the Mitchells tickets to the same ship after the Dennis mishap. Mr. Wilson snaps and swims out into the ocean rather than go on another cruise with Dennis.
Faulty Alarm
Henry helps Mr. Wilson install a burglar alarm at his house, but Dennis causes a few false alarms that make the police give him a ticket. When a real burglar breaks into the Wilson home without setting the alarm off, Dennis and Ruff spring into action and capture him. Dennis is made an honorary deputy by the police, who even waive Mr. Wilson's ticket under condition he removes his burglar alarm. But when Dennis says he's going to come over to the Wilson house to make sure it's safe, Mr. Wilson decides he wants to go to a jail cell with a view.
"Lights Camera, Auction" provides examples of:
- Accidental Bid: Thanks to Dennis' antics, Mr. Wilson winds up winning several very expensive items, and is warned to pay or else!
- Auction: Mr. Wilson goes to one to get a birthday present for Mrs. Wilson. Dennis tags along, and his antics result in Mr. Wilson buying an ugly statue that Mrs. Wilson dislikes.
- Bedsheet Ghost: At the beginning of this episode, Dennis and Ruff scare Mr. Wilson by wearing bedsheets and pretending to be ghosts.
- Butt-Monkey: Mr. Wilson. When Dennis tags along at the auction he goes to, he is forced to buy several very expensive items because the auctioneer mistakes him for a bidder, one of which is an ugly statue that Mrs. Wilson dislikes. When he tosses out the statue, the sanitation workers find it's an antique worth a lot of money, and Dennis dumps the garbage from their truck on him in the hopes of finding something similar
- Comically Missing the Point: Dennis wants to get an ant farm from the auction as Mrs. Wilson's present, because Mrs. Wilson says she likes to visit her a(u)nts on the farm. Mr. Wilson has to explain to him that her aunts on the farm are not ants, and the farm is a real farm.
- Ill-Timed Sneeze: Mr. Wilson sneezes when Dennis blows the dust off a bust. The auctioneer mistakes this for a bid, resulting in Mr. Wilson buying an ugly statue.
- Nose Tapping: When Dennis and Mr. Wilson go to the auction, Mr. Wilson explains to Dennis how the bidders make known they'd like to bid on an item; one of the bidders taps his nose. Dennis inadvertently gets Mr. Wilson to tap his nose – and do other things – to buy multiple items he didn't want.
- Squirrels in My Pants: After Dennis accidentally breaks the ant farm he wants to get, the ants crawl into Mr. Wilson's clothes and bite him, resulting in the auctioneer mistaking him for bidding on an urn.
"Boy Ahoy" provides examples of:
- Accidental Passenger: In this episode, Dennis accidentally stows away on the cruise ship when he stays on it too long. Mr. Wilson is forced to hide him, and after Dennis accidentally loses his clothes, Mr. Wilson is forced to wear one of his wife's dresses and is accused of being the stowaway by the ship's captain.
- Attack! Attack... Retreat! Retreat!: This exchange when the ship departs:Mr. Wilson: Oh my gosh! The ship's moving! Get off, Dennis!
Dennis: Okay, Mr. Wilson.
(Dennis is about to walk off the ship.)
Mr. Wilson: No, Dennis, don't get off!
Dennis: Gee, I wish you'd make up your mind. - Butt-Monkey: Mr. Wilson. Dennis accidentally stows away on his own private cruise, he is forced to wear one of his wife's dresses when Dennis accidentally tosses his clothes out the porthole, having mistaken it for a closet, and he is mistaken for the stowaway when the captain finds him and forced to work. When the captain realizes his mistake and gives Mr. Wilson two tickets for another cruise as his apology, the company the ship belongs to gives Henry, Alice, and Dennis three tickets for the same cruise as their apology for accidentally taking Dennis.
- Cassandra Truth: When the captain finds Mr. Wilson, he mistakes him for the stowaway. Dennis tells the captain that he's the stowaway and that Mr. Wilson is innocent, the captain doesn't believe him and Mr. Wilson is forced to work.
- Cruise Episode: This episode involves the Wilsons going on a cruise, and Dennis becoming a stowaway when he accidentally stays on the ship too long.
- Dragged into Drag: When Dennis accidentally tosses Mr. Wilson's clothes out the porthole, having mistaken it for a closet, Mr. Wilson is forced to wear one of his wife's dresses. This leads to people mistaking him for an ugly lady.
- Threatening Shark: When Dennis tries to pull Mr. Wilson back onto the deck of the ship after the latter is forced to give its hull a fresh coat of paint, the rope comes loose and Mr. Wilson falls into the water, surrounded by a pod of sharks. Fortunately, he is saved.
- We Are Not Going Through That Again: When Mr. Wilson finds out that Dennis is going on the same cruise that he and Mrs. Wilson are going on, he snaps and swims out into the ocean.
- You Are Fat: This exchange when Mrs. Wilson finds her husband wearing one of her dresses:Mrs. Wilson: George? What are you doing in my dress?
Mr. Wilson: Thanks to Dennis, all my clothes have become hand-me-downs for a school of barracudas!
Mrs. Wilson: They would fit a lot better on a whale!
"Faulty Alarm" provides examples of:
- Broken Glass Penalty: Dennis accidentally breaks Mr. Wilson's window when he plays ball with Ruff.
- Butt-Monkey: Mr. Wilson. Dennis' antics result in his alarm being set off and him getting the blame.
- Comically Missing the Point: After Mr. Wilson explains what happened to the police, Dennis tells him that next time it happens, he'll get a ticket. He then says he hopes the ticket's to a ball game.
- Explain, Explain... Oh, Crap!: This exchange between Dennis and Mr. Wilson when the former accidentally breaks the latter's window:Dennis: Say, Mr. Wilson, where's the alarm?
Mr. Wilson: What? Oh. It's on Silent Alarm. Now, look, Dennis...
Dennis: Isn't that where the police come?
Mr. Wilson: Yes, that's...
(A police siren blares in the distance as Mr. Wilson realizes the police are coming to his house.) - Full-Name Ultimatum: Mr. Wilson exclaims "Dennis Mitchell!" after Dennis breaks his window.
- Kid Has a Point: When Dennis easily gets into Mr. Wilson's house through the open window, Dennis tells Mr. Wilson that he shouldn't have left the window open, as a burglar could get in.
- Kid Hero: A burglar sneaks into Mr. Wilson's house and robs it, but Dennis catches the burglar and ties him to a tree. He is then rewarded with a deputy badge by the police chief.
- Literal Metaphor: When the burglar robs Mr. Wilson's house, he says, "Piece of cake", and sure enough, finds a cake on the kitchen counter.
- Literal-Minded: When Henry and Mr. Wilson get back from the police station after Dennis accidentally sets off the alarm a third time, Dennis asks Mr. Wilson why the police chief would want to throw a book at him.
- Prefer Jail to the Protagonist: At the end of the episode, after Dennis catches the burglar that robs Mr. Wilson's house, the police chief says he will pardon Mr. Wilson of his false alarm ticket if he promises to get rid of his alarm. When Dennis says that Mr. Wilson doesn't need it anyway since he'll come over to his house every day to protect it, Mr. Wilson tells the police chief that he'd like a cell with a view.
- Rule of Three: Mr. Wilson's alarm is set off three times. First, when Mr. Wilson closes the window after Dennis gets in through it, then when Dennis accidentally breaks Mr. Wilson's window playing ball with Ruff, and finally when Dennis accidentally spills lemonade on it, causing it to short circuit.
