Wiz: And these two are certainly among the top-tier in their trade.
Boomstick: Bowser, the King of the Koopas.
Wiz: And Ganon, the Demon King.
In season three's second episode, Nintendo's most iconic Big Bads meet on the field of battle. The hosts will compare tremendous physical strength against vast magical power, a being that refuses to admit death versus one for whom death is impermanent, for whilst Bowser and Ganon have made their mark as conquerors and threats nigh-insurmountable, a greater victory awaits them should they claim success in a death battle.
Wizard and Boomstick start the episode off with the tale of Bowser, a Koopa who sought to claim the Mushroom Kingdom as his own, beginning by using sorcery to turn its inhabitants, the Toads, into brick, but his efforts would be foiled by those of the heiress apparent, Princess Peach. Bowser would abduct the princess and lock her in his castle, and for a time, all had seemed lost, and undoubtedly would have stayed such were it not for the efforts of the siblings Mario and Luigi. Time and again would the brother foil Bowser's schemes, yet just as often as he found his plans thwarted would the Koopa king return with another attempt to make the Mushroom Kingdom his, a campaign with no end to be found.
As time would prove, Bowser is seemingly unable to be permanently put down in his endeavor, one of the key reasons being the presence of his virtually indestructible shell, which is durable enough to survive the weight of one of his enormous castles toppling upon him. Yet, even considering the shell's spikes, which Bowser can fire out of his shell, the traits of the Mario brothers' archnemesis do not end there; with razor-sharp teeth and claws, the force behind Bowser's blows is made more indomitable by his immense strength, which has been shown to be strong enough to hold and hurl enormous cannonballs. To aid him, Bowser comes equipped with the ability to breathe fire and an array of devices, such as a supply of hammers and spiked balls and mechanical Koopas, which he can send out from his personal flying machine, the Koopa Clown Car. His magic remains just as strong as ever, using shapeshifting, teleporting, and size manipulation to become a stronger foe still.
It is thankful for the Mushroom Kingdom, then, that Bowser can become his own worst foe at times. As if to compensate for his great physical strength, the Mushroom Kingdom's primary threat is something of an imbecile, devising traps within his own strongholds to be used against him, underestimating his foes consistently, and even unable to have a grasp on basic literacy. Still, that alone does not make a fool out of Bowser. He has been repeatedly shown to withstand events of a cosmic scale; even supernovae and black holes are unable to hold him down, and lava fares no better; merely stripping the flesh from his bones, yet still does he refuse to die. For all his shortcomings, Bowser has earned his place as a menace to the Mushroom Kingdom and beyond, a force whom may be delayed, but never truly stopped.
With Bowser underway, the hosts begin to study his foe, Ganon, who was once a man known as Ganondorf Dragmire. As the sole male in the desert-native Gerudo tribe, Ganondorf was christened the Gerudo's king, and received special training in the ways of magic by the twin witches Kotake and Koume. His ways in mysticism would help him fulfill his own destiny; in a battle that took place eons in the past, the demon Demise would be slain by the goddesses' chosen hero, and with his dying words, Demise would curse the hero and their mortal embodiment, their hatred towards them pursuing the pair across their multiple incarnations for all eternity. As the embodient of Demise's fury towards the two, who would eventually become the figures known to history as Link and Zelda, Ganondorf would prove to be a threat to the realm of Hyrule and its sacred artifact, the Triforce, continuously living up to the vow Demise made long ago.
Fitting indeed it is that Ganondorf can channel the magic arts with skill for a warlock such as him. Amongst his assortment of powers is the ability to call upon a horde of spectral riders to aid him in combat, casting waves of darkness and death curses alike, and unleashing orbs of electricity, stunning those who fail to reflect them. Yet this is but merely a fraction of what the king of the Gerudos is capable of. Ganondorf is also a master swordsman, able to wield twin blades with proficiency, and, thanks in part to a failed attempt to use the Triforce for his own ends, he possesses a fraction of the relic, the Triforce of Power, manifesting upon the back of his hand as a glowing triangle set atop two more. With the Triforce of Power, Ganondorf possesses superhuman strength and almost complete invulnerability, with unlimited magic powers and the ability to turn into a demonic pig monster, known simply as Ganon, to match.
Be it as the human Ganondorf or the boar Ganon, Demise's reincarnation remains a threat to the land of Hyrule for good reason. With his powers at his beck and call, the demon king has been shown as durable enough to withstand a massive tower collapsing on him and impalement in vital organs, with strength to shatter stone and pillars barehanded, and even has slain the Hero of Time in a particular timeline of Zelda lore. That said, the goddesses have not let Ganon become a truly invincible figure. Ganon is still able to be killed, bearing a particular weaknesses to holy weapons, such as the blessed Silver and Light Arrows, and his adversary's signature weapon, the Master Sword. In addition, Ganon is arrogant, underestimating his foes until the point where they can slay him. But Demise had ensured that his wrath towards the goddesses and their champions is a fire that burns eternal, and death can do little until Ganon is reincarnated, ready to carry on the feud that started eons ago, both now and forevermore.
Now that the fighters have been analyzed, nothing stands in their way. It's time for a death battle, boss style!
A castle, dimly lit by a few torches, sets the mood for the impending clash. On his throne, Bowser, the King of the Koopas, is flanked by a pair of Goomba henchmen. A small array of Shy Guys, their presence heralded by a green Koopa Troopa, present to their master a floating golden triangle; part of the sacred artifact known as the Triforce. His mirth is interrupted, however, when the Triforce piece begins to glow purple, a vortex emanating from it. From this void emerges Ganondorf, embodiment of the demon king Demise, his sinister laughter piercing the air in the castle. With a ball of lightning, Bowser's minions are caught in the blast; their leader, infuriated at being denied his treasure and his forces killed in front of him by this challenger, bellows a torrent of fire. The two kings and sorcerers know, a fight is inevitable now.
FIGHT!
Bowser uses his environment to his advantage, picking his throne up with a single hand and hurtling it at Ganondorf, who, aided by the Triforce of Power, shatters it into splinters with a single punch. The student of the Gerudo witches rushes towards his reptilian foe, throwing punches before with a kick, sending Bowser soaring towards the ceiling, the momentum halted only by a chandelier. As Ganondorf perches on a second chandelier and meets his foe with a ball of lightning, the Koopa King deflects it with his shell, sending a hammer after it for good measure. The cudgel connects with the chain holding Ganondorf's chandelier intact, sorcerer and chandelier falling to the ground below. As he watches his foe's descent, Bowser takes a moment, thrusting a fist and chortling in his assumed victory.
But as the Gerudo king has suffered far worse, far worse is needed to put him down. Teleporting behind his foe, Ganondorf cuts short Bowser's celebration with a violent headbutting, the pair smashing into the stone floor. The pair exchange fists that connect consistently; the shockwaves of energy can be heard throughout the castle as the impacts send Bowser skidding. The fight takes on a battle of projectiles, as Bowser's failed attempt to scorch Ganondorf proves to be a distraction; the Mushroom Kingdom's chief enemy landing a dropkick on Ganondorf that sends him tumbling through the castle walls. The demon king's incarnation prepares another orb of lightning, but fortune would have its way with Bowser; the pair have landed in his personal tennis court, and a racket is within grabbing distance.
With numerous spheres does Ganondorf continue to assault Bowser, but the Koopa King's tennis game is on point, and the balls of lightning continue to soar back and forth between the two parties. After a short time, however, Bowser manages to send all four orbs Ganondorf's way at once with a shell spin, and Ganondorf can only brace himself for so many before they leave him paralyzed. With an opening for him to take, Bowser rushes at his foe, countless slashes and tears upon him. The battle seems to have died down, before, feigning defeat, Ganondorf warps himself and his opponent above the lava moat surrounding the castle, Bowser held aloft by just his tail. With that, the Gerudo king releases his grip, Bowser plummeting to the moat below. Now, however, is Ganondorf's turn for his supposed success to be proven anything but. The Koopa Clown Car has saved its owner, and dropping Bowser off at a bridge above the moat, the duo resume their fight, Bowser's Koopa Clown Car releasing a massive cannonball that soon finds itself deflected by a jab infused with dark energies. Once more plummeting to the lava below, Bowser uses his size-shifting sorcery to transform into a massive version of himself. Staring his foe down, Ganondorf calls upon the Triforce of Power, enveloping himself in a bright purple flame.
Though Bowser swings a fist at Ganondorf, it is the demonic pig sorcerer Ganon who catches it. Summoning his trident, Ganon weaves the polearm around the inferno Bowser breathes, landing it squarely in the Koopa king's eye. As Bowser rips the trident out, Ganon warps in front of his foe, barely able to drape his cloak around him before being consumed by him. Bowser chortles to himself, unaware of the Gerudo king's dark magics swirling around him, his death curse shrinking him and slowly hardening his skin. Bowser's flesh shatters, revealing his skeletal form, Dry Bowser. But nothing can be done for the Koopa king in this state, the dark energies of Ganon glowing within him before they burst Dry Bowser, bones littering the bridge. Above his foe's skeleton, Ganon raises his arms and laughs, his foe's demise now ensured.
K.O.!
For his own amusement, Ganon channels his dark magic, reconstructing Bowser's skeleton and having it dance about like a puppet. The hosts note that Bowser had the advantage in brute strength, but Ganon otherwise was a far more intelligent combatant, augmented by his magic superiority. It is true, they continue, that both Bowser and Ganon were virtually imprevious to normal means of harm, but Bowser's defenses were less secure; lacking holy weapons, the only thing known to kill Ganon, Bowser could do little to defeat his foe for good. Bowser, in comparison, has shown that death can be ensured by means attainable by Ganon; New Super Mario Bros. showed that after having his flesh burned off by lava, Dry Bowser was what the hosts consider killed by a sheer drop, the force of which Ganon was more than capable of achieving. Both combatants are powerhouses and masters of their craft, but Bowser had too many shortcomings and not enough ways to account for them.
Wizard: The winner is Ganon!
Bowser vs. Ganon contains examples of:
- Added Alliterative Appeal: Wiz indulges in this when describing Bowser's first defeat to the Mario Bros., stating that "two portly, pesky plumbers popped up out of nowhere and procured his petulant princess". Boomstick praises him on the alliteration, which Wiz is surprised he even knows what it is. Boomstick responds "Of course, my conspicuous co-host!"
- Dem Bones: When Bowser loses his skin to lava, he becomes the skeletal Dry Bowser.
- Dumb Muscle: Bowser, compared to Ganondorf. It's one of the reasons why he loses.
- Eating the Enemy: Bowser tries to end the fight by swallowing Ganondorf whole. Unfortunately for him, he's unable to actively defend himself from the inside, giving Ganondorf the opportunity to use the same death curse he killed the Great Deku Tree with.
- Evil Versus Evil: Both are commanders of invading armies and wielders of black magic doing battle.
- Eye Scream: Bowser takes a trident to the eye when Ganon diverts it from his fire.
- Foregone Conclusion: As mentioned in the final summation, there was really no way Bowser could have won this fight. Ganon is really only vulnerable to specific type of holy weapon that Bowser simply didn't have, making it only a matter of time before Ganon finished him off.
- Go-Karting with Bowser: Mentioned when closing out the Trope Namer's analysis, stating that Bowser regularly participates in kart races and tennis matches with his nemeses. Wiz remarks that you can't always be the bad guy.
- Mythology Gag: Early in the battle, Bowser and Ganondorf take to two opposing chandeliers, with Bowser throwing a hammer to send Ganondorf's chandelier falling down, much like Mario's fight with Bowser in the opening of Super Mario RPG.
- Offscreen Moment of Awesome: In the setup for the fight, a bunch of Shy Guys somehow manage to steal the Triforce of Power.
- Perfectly Cromulent Word: Boomstick refers to Bowser's "turtliness" when talking about his durability, which Wiz lampshades.
- Power Perversion Potential: After mentioning Bowser's ability to increase his size at will, Boomstick wonders if Bowser's also able to grow other parts of himself. Wiz cuts him off, stating that turtle penises are horrifying. When Boomstick asks how he knows this, Wiz can only weakly answer "...Science..."
- Shout-Out:
- When talking about the Gerudo Desert, Boomstick starts to quote Anakin Skywalker's complaints about sand. Wiz cuts him off with "Don't you fucking dare!"
- Dio Brando's vampire cry can be seen at the moment Ganondorf prepares to strike Bowser from behind on the chandelier.
- After the fight's conclusion, Boomstick remarks "That'll do, pig. That'll do."
- Tennis Boss: It's brought up that Ganon's electrical orbs can be reflected back at him, forcing him to batter them back towards Link. In the battle proper, Bowser takes the trope literally and uses a tennis racket to do the same.
- Your Mom: When discussing Bowser's strength, Boomstick cracks that the Koopa king could probably even lift Wiz's mother, prompting an offended "Hey!" from Wiz.
