Recap / Cheers S 5 E 12 Dance Diane Dance

Episode: Season 5, Episode 12
Title: Dance, Diane, Dance
Directed by: James Burrows
Written by: Jeff Abugov
Air Date: December 18, 1986
Previous: The Book of Samuel
Next: Chambers v. Malone
Guest Starring: Marilyn Lightstone

"Dance, Diane, Dance" is the 12th episode of the fifth season of Cheers.

Diane tells the bar that she has been taking a dance class. Since she was a child she has loved the ballet, and she once dreamed of being a ballet dancer, but instead she decided to be a writer. (As Carla snarkily notes, she's failed at that too and is now a waitress in a bar.). It seems one Madame Likova, the teacher of the ballet class, is supposed to be coming by to deliver the results of her evaluation.

Diane has to duck out of the bar, and while she's gone, Madame Likova's assistant arrives with the videotape and evaluation—and hopes of softening the blow. It seems that Diane is a terrible, terrible ballet dancer. The gang pops her audition tape into the VCR and howls with laughter at how bad she is. However, when Diane comes back and everyone sees how much it means to her, Frasier and Sam decide to make her feel better. They write a fake evaluation which says that Diane is a great dancer and if she had started earlier, she could have been a professional ballerina.

This backfires badly. Despite her age, far too old to start a career in ballet (Diane never said how old she was but Shelley Long was 37), Diane decides to audition for the Boston Ballet. A horrified Frasier and Sam have to stop her from humiliating herself, but that requires telling her the truth.

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Tropes:

• Ain't Too Proud to Beg: Both Sam and Frasier implore Diane not to try and audition to the Boston Ballet. Of course, Diane doesn't get why they're doing this, and assumes they're trying to be supportive.
• Antenna Adjusting: The Teaser finds the Cheers crowd watching a football game when the picture quality suddenly drops. Sam sends Woody over to the set to adjust the antenna, which involves balancing on the panelling while hanging onto the set; inevitably, he loses his footing, but as he hangs from the set, several feet off the floor, the picture clears up - almost. Cliff makes a minor color adjustment by picking up one of Woody's legs to balance his foot on top of the panelling.
  Woody: Wow, I sure hope this game doesn't go into overtime!
• Ballet Episode: Diane, misled about the results of her class, decides to try out for the Boston Ballet.
• Bittersweet Ending: Diane is saved from embarrassment, but the episode ends on her gazing longingly at the ballet dancers practicing, knowing it's a dream that will never happen.
• Brutal Honesty: Madame Likova's appraisal of Diane's dancing abilities is to mark her as pretty much awful in every category. Becomes a Brick Joke when Diane sees her heavily altered review and phones her to ask if she really meant it. Likova says yes and then hangs up before Diane can learn the truth.
• The Cynic: As Diane talks about pursuing one's dreams, Norm insists he never had one and that he considers them useless. He sees no point in trying for a fantasy because he genuinely believes it would never come true, anyway.
  Norm: Dreams... they just give you heartache.
• Defensive "What?": As Diane is leaving, Sam begs Frasier to tell her the truth. Frasier goes up to Diane at the door, but all he can say is "Knock 'em dead." After she leaves he turns to the bar and says "WHAT?!?"
• Entertainingly Wrong: Sam's attempts to tell Diane the truth aren't helped by her assuming he's just trying to get her to stick around at Cheers, rather than being hesitant to hurt her feelings by telling the truth.
• Extreme Doormat: Carla is incredulous that Frasier is going out of his way to help Diane, someone that really messed him up. Fras just chalks it up to sentiment for his first love.
• Facial Dialogue: We don't hear what Frasier says to Diane at the end, just seeing Diane's face sink as he clues her in.
• Forged Message: Frasier forges a letter from Diane's teacher saying that Diane could've been a ballerina 10 years ago (which in context should be perfectly acceptable to Diane, as she knows she's "over the hill" to become a ballet dancer). But then she decides to try out anyway and is terrible.
• Freudian Excuse: Norm alludes to this as being why he's cynical about pursuing dreams, saying he learned this outlook early on.
• Funny Background Event:
  • Diane watches the tape while standing in the foreground, leaving everyone else behind her and struggling to not laugh openly.
  • The director agrees to a halt so that Diane can speak, leading to a prolonged over the shoulder lift right behind her. It takes Diane a moment to notice and suggest the guy put the girl down.
• Giftedly Bad: Diane has a very incorrect idea of her talents as a ballet dancer.
• HA HA HA—No: Apparently Madame Likova, she of the fierce temper, would react like this if someone would mistake her for her assistant.
  Likova's assistant: How Madame Likova would laugh. And then she would strike me.
• Hair-Trigger Temper: From what we hear of Madame Likova, she is very easily infuriated, and quite blunt with her appraisals.
• Hidden Depths: According to Norm, Vera is very passionate about tupperware and has hosted multiple parties.
• Know-Nothing Know-It-All: Cliff, hearing the ballet instructor's assistant say goodbye with "dos svindanyia", starts ranting about "Soviet propaganda".
• Longing Look: Diane's last wistful, longing look at the ballet stage, as she's exiting stage right.
• Maintain the Lie: Frasier and Sam have to make up a lot of lame excuses while trying desperately to discourage Diane from auditioning for the Boston Ballet.
• Stealth Insult: Diane is watching her dance tape, enraptured, while the gang behind her struggles to hold back their laughter. Finally she says "Ever since I was a child, I've wanted to dance so badly." A chortling Norm says "Looks like you got your wish!"
• Tragic Dream: The final shot has Diane quietly and sadly reflect on how a lifelong passion for ballet doesn't mean actually having the skill to make a go of it.
• Trauma Button: Norm talking about Vera's love of tupperware gets Diane wondering what life would be like had she pursued her own dream.
• Unreveal Angle: We never get to see Diane's audition tape, but given how the gang howls with laughter, and Diane's terrible report card, it was obviously pretty bad.
• Unwitting Instigator of Doom: Norm's talk of Vera pursuing a tupperware dream and his own cynical outlook about dreams in general get Diane ginned up about mailing her tape and then trying to audition.
• Who's on First?: Diane muses that the railing of the bar will make a good bar (a dancer's bar). Woody notes, "But that is a bar."
• Who's Watching the Store?: One of the few episodes where this trope applies. An excited Diane leaves right before closing time, leaving Norm alone in the bar. The result is a Foregone Conclusion.
  Norm: Alone in a bar. Diane was right, dreams do come true!
• You Have GOT to Be Kidding Me!: Norm's response to Diane asking if he knows how to lock up the bar, reminding her that he taught her how to do it in the first place.

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