Title: No Help Wanted
Directed by: James Burrows
Written by: Max Tash
Air Date: January 12, 1984
Previous: Battle of the Exes
Next: And Coachie Makes Three
Guest Starring: Barbra Horan
"No Help Wanted" is the 14th episode of the second season of Cheers.
Norm's unemployment benefits have run out, and, as he shamefacedly confesses at the bar, he has been reduced to a job washing dishes upstairs at Melville's. The rest of the bar, led by Diane, push Sam into giving Norm work as the accountant for Cheers. Sam is reluctant as he is quite happy with his regular accountant, but he gives in to Diane's badgering and hires Norm.
Getting work as an accountant boosts Norm's spirits tremendously. He's more cheerful, there's a spring his step, and he orders matchbooks with his name and number on them in an effort to score more business. He is also delighted to present Sam, who usually pays a couple grand in taxes every year, with a $15,000 refund for the bar instead. Sam however is spooked by the surprise refund. Fearing an IRS audit and not really trusting Norm, he goes back to his old accountant.
Tropes:
- Blatant Lies: Diane declares she's got no problem with Sam having been with other women. Pssh, yeah.
- Discriminate and Switch: Diane claims to have integrated her sorority. Turns out the oppressed masses for whom she secured membership were...girls with poorly publicized coming-out parties.
- Double Entendre: In the scene where a hot babe named Becky, one of Sam's innumerable Old Flames, is flirting with him at the bar. She wants to go somewhere with him after he leaves work.Becky: When do you get off?
Sam: Oh, I don't get off anymore, Becky. - Fun with Acronyms: Cliff claims DNA stands for "Dames are not aggressive." (DANA?)
- Hypocritical Humor:
- Coach declares he couldn't be a bus-boy because of the humiliation of doing other people's bidding. Then a patron angrily demands a beer.
- Norm's Inelegant Blubbering in Sam's office leads to them being friends again. Diane is so happy that she says "I could almost cry!" A scornful Norm says only "Girls!"
- Inelegant Blubbering: The argument between Norm and Sam ends with Norm barging into Sam's office, supposedly to tell him off—then bursting into tears and saying "I don't want to go, Sam." He then flops down onto Sam's couch, weeping, then falls onto the floor and cries into the rug before Sam pulls him up.
- Know-Nothing Know-It-All: Cliff really leans into this trope in this episode, drawing the DNA double helix only to tell the other patrons that the gene for male aggression is found at "1 o'clock" and that DNA stands for "Dames Are Not Aggressive".
- O.O.C. Is Serious Business: The normally cheerful Norm is so moody he even snaps at Coach. Apparently he even considered suicide.
- Or Are You Just Happy to See Me?: Diane helps give Sam a cold shower after an encounter with an Old Flame of his...by squirting seltzer water down his pants. Coach walks over, takes a look at Sam's wet pants, and snarks, "Have an accident, Sam, or are you just glad to see me?" He then busts a gut in guffaws.
- Prison Rape: Why Sam is afraid of going to jail, because he's pretty.Sam: You know what happens to pretty boys in jail?
- Stepford Smiler: Turns out Diane has been seeing a psychiatrist since February '83, though she insists she's better now.
- Stock Animal Diet: Norm smells so much of fish after washing dishes at Melville's (a seafood restaurant) that a horde of cats follows him as he descends the steps to Cheers.
- Suicide as Comedy: Norm tells Sam he doesn't need to be his accountant. He could just kill himself.Cliff: The man has options, Sammy.
- Volleying Insults: Sam and Norm engage in it. Then Carla decides to join in by insulting Diane, who despite insisting they aren't doing this insults Carla right back.
