Seth Dozerman, the new captain of the Nine-Nine. Get used to him; you'll be seeing him a lot.
New Captain is the first episode of Brooklyn Nine-Nine's third season.
Picking up right where the second season left off, the Nine Nine greets Captain Dozerman, their new commanding officer. Dozerman immediately reveals himself to be a complete lunatic and tries to exercise iron-fisted control over the precinct, even going so far as to issue PDAs with which he can track everyone's movements while ensuring that his officers complete something useful at 55 minute increments (they can also be used to play Backgammon, but that's another story).
Meanwhile, Jake and Amy try to figure out how to pursue their budding romance while keeping the relationship under wraps at work. Unfortunately, things take an unexpected turn.
Also, Holt and Gina try to settle into the NYPD's Public Relations Bureau, but Madeline Wuntch is at hand to make sure Holt's humiliation goes on for as long as possible.
This episode provides examples of:
- Alliterative Name: The new mascot of NYPD is a pigeon. Wuntch insists that Holt choose its name: Petey or Paulie. Holt begrudgingly chooses Paulie the Pigeon. Later he says it should have been Pepper. Officer Pepper O'Pigeon.
- Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking: After his heart episode at the beginning, Captain Dozerman informs the precinct that his doctors have told him that he has a genetic heart condition, an aortic valve that is 16% too narrow, a lowered life expectancy from 103 to 64, and that he's a carrier for the gene for webbed feet. The last, he acknowledges, "is interesting more than anything else."
- Artistic License – Law: Upon arriving at the Nine-Nine, Dozerman is quick to tell of his terminal heart condition; his aortic valve is 16% too narrow and his life expectancy is now 64 years old. Dozerman would have been immediately removed from active duty, retired from the NYPD, and put on permanent medical leave the second his heart condition was reported to his superiors, something which the doctor who discovered the condition would have been obligated to do.
- Aw, Look! They Really Do Love Each Other: As Jake and Amy contemplate breaking off their relationship, Charles convinces Jake to go after Amy and get her back. Jake immediately goes to leave his apartment... and opens the door to reveal Amy, who has come over to say that she wants to keep it going too.
- Blatant Lies: Jake and Amy do an extremely poor job of hiding their relationship.
- Big "NO!": Jake lets one out at the end of the episode after it sets in that the Vulture is their new captain and squad leader. He has a thing for reenacting movie moments, and this was a perfect opportunity, for it truly is horrible for them all.
- Brick Joke: When Charles is asking about Jake's date, he asks if they "frenched" and Jake disgustedly says that no one over the age of 12 calls it that. Later, when Dozerman catches Jake and Amy making out in the evidence locker, he says that apparently the reason that nothing gets done in the precinct is that "all the detectives are too busy frenching with each other."
- Call-Back:
- Jake's dad's captain's hat (from "Captain Peralta") can be seen in the background of Jake's apartment.
- Anyone reading the I'll Take Two Beers Too example below should remember that Four-Drink Amy is a bit of a pervert.
- Gina refers to herself as the "human form of the 100 emoji," recalling her love of talking in emoji.
- Boyle mentions, again, how washing a woman's hair is the most intimate thing a man can do.
- Costume Inertia: Holt's been promoted to and starts wearing the badge of a Deputy Inspector but continues to wear his old rank insignia on his collar and shoulders.
- Disappointed in You: Terry scolds Jake and Amy with this, saying that he loves love but also loves a professional working enviroment.
- Gilligan Cut: Jake and Amy dating.Jake: We can do this! We're back on track, we're keeping it light and breezy!
(cut to a post-coital Jake and Amy)
Jake: So...we broke a rule...
Amy: Yeah...I hope it wasn't a mistake.
Jake: "I Hope It Wasn't a Mistake:" title of your sex tape. (gasps) Title of our sex tape! - Goofy Suit: Wuntch makes Holt wear the Paulie the Pigeon costume, which he describes as "third-rate".
- Humiliation Conga: Wuntch spends an inordinate amount of time at Public Relations to make sure that Holt has no chance of enacting any sort of change at the department. Instead, she forces him to focus on choosing a name for the new NYPD mascot (a pigeon) and later makes him wear the costume and go on publicity visits to elementary schools.Holt: Wuntch has defeated me. This is how it ends. With me standing on the urine-soaked floor of a elementary school bathroom in a third-rate bird costume.
- Hypocritical Humor: Captain Dozerman asserts that he lives his life by one rule: "Efficiency. Efficiency. Efficiency." As Jake notes, it'd probably be more efficient to just say the word once.
- Ignored Epiphany: Captain Dozerman learns a lesson from his near-death experience and the revelation that his heart is weak. Unfortunately, the lesson he learns is to double-down on his obsessive pursuit of efficiency instead of relaxing a bit.
- I'll Take Two Beers Too: Ten seconds before the aforementioned Gilligan Cut.Jake: How do we make it not weird?
Amy: I know. Let's just get super drunk.
Jake: Yes! Great idea! Pardon me, ma'am? Could you please bring us four kamikaze shots?
Amy: And four for me as well.
Jake: Ah, I like your style! - Ironic Name: Seth Dozerman is, contrary to what the 'doze' in his last name might suggest, a hyperactive efficiency obsessive. Unless one associates his name with the word "bulldozer", which turns it into Meaningful Name instead.
- Just Friends: Jake and Amy spend the episode not-very-convincingly claiming that they're just friends and just colleagues.
- Meaningful Name: Cpt. Dozerman bulldozes his way through the entire precinct... to pave the way for the Vulture, who swoops in as usual. Living up to his carrion-eater namesake, he actually gets the command because of a death in the precinct.
- The Neidermeyer: Dozerman is a martinet whose actions do absolutely nothing to earn the respect of his subordinates. Rosa's typical surliness turns to outright rebellion in the face of this.
- "The Reason You Suck" Speech: Charles delivers one to Jake when Jake tries to defend his and Amy's giving up on a relationship with each other, pointing out that they clearly weren't trying very hard to begin with. Complete with arm-punches.
- Oh, Crap!: The precinct (with the exception of Rosa) does a collective one when it's revealed that their new captain is none other than: THE VULTURE!
- Opposites Attract: Discussed when Amy excitedly decides that the best way to keep her and Jake's burgeoning relationship light and breezy is by instituting "a comprehensive system of rules."Jake: How am I attracted to you? Doesn't matter. I am. Go.
- Rapid-Fire "No!": Boyle's reaction when Jake tells him he and Amy hit the breaks and are back to being colleagues. He's their biggest Shipper on Deck.Charles: No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no...
Jake: Boyle, can we please just go to dinner?
Charles: No, no, no, no, no! This is not how you and Amy are supposed to end. You're supposed to grow old and die holding each other as your cruise ship slowly takes on water. - Romantic Rain: Discussed (and trying to invoke the trope). When Jake decides to go and tell Amy how he feels about her, Charles excitedly urges him to wait until it's raining to do so. He then immediately realises how insane this is, changes his mind, and tells him to go right away instead.
- Shipper on Deck:
- Charles continues to ship Jake and Amy and is "over the moon" when they're forced to admit it in front of the squad.
- Rosa's happy about Jake and Amy, although in her case, it's because it gives her more ammunition to tease them with. But her resting bitch face is actually smiling, so deep down she must truly ship them.
- Sitcom Arch-Nemesis: Holt and Wuntch's rivalry sinks to new lows in this episode with Wuntch doing everything she can to keep Holt from even seeing the bright side of his situation.Wuntch: Name the pigeon, Raymond!!
Holt: You can't make me!
Wuntch: I can make you and I will! Name the pigeon. That's an order!
Holt: {Winds up for a retort but forces himself to back down} Paulie...
Wuntch: Thank you. Was that so hard? - Too Dumb to Live: Dozerman has an incredibly weak heart, yet continues to holler his head off which he should very well know will trigger a heart attack. This inevitably results in Dozerman dying from a massive heart attack, the only time in the show where an officer dies in the line of duty on-screen.
- Tyrant Takes the Helm:
- A double-whammy for the Nine-Nine; the stern but reasonable Holt is replaced by the tyrannically efficiency-obsessed Seth Dozerman, who is in turn replaced by none other than The Vulture.
- A variation in that this is the first episode in which Holt is working directly under Wuntch's command who makes his already bad assignment in PR absolutely hellish.
