Like a dream, mate.
You mean the kind of dream where you can't do push-ups?
That's the one.
The getting-ready-to-go-on-holiday episode. Richie and Eddie have bought a holiday for two in Bridlington (or rather, Doncaster) from Dodgy Bob McMayday, the most violent travel agent in the world. They have until midnight to pack, so Richie goes off to try on his swimming trunks. Eddie pretends to call Cher and finds out that Richie has got his trunks on so tight you can't see them.
After getting them off Richie decides to lose three stone in the twelve hours before they leave. After trying and failing to do push-ups, Richie tries to get liposuction using the hoover and gets his genitals trapped. Richie later makes a lifting machine out of bungie cord and the fridge, Eddie notices a photo of Desmond Lynam in the nude sellotaped the bottom of the fridge. Because Richie can't lift the fridge, Eddie makes a treadmill using a motorbike as a motor. Richie goes flying out of the window and chops off Eddie's legs for revenge.
Eddie goes off to the pub with the holiday money, comes back drunk and passes out on the sofa. Richie uses him as a counter-weight to lift up the fridge and see the photo of Desmond Lynam. Eddie then gets off the sofa, causing the fridge to fall Richie, who gets his head stuck underneath it. Eddie steals his ticket and gives it to a woman who has been hiding in the fridge. Richie discovers the photo is just Eddie in a wig, and his awful evening is made complete when Eddie takes the opportunity to kick him in the balls.
Tropes
- Accidental Pervert: Despite being an actual pervert, Richie becomes this when he gets his dick stuck in the vacuum cleaner while trying to give himself liposuction.
- Alcohol Hic: When Eddie gets back from seeing how far the bus station is.
- All for Nothing: Richie's attempt to see the naked photo of Des Lynam turns out to be this, as it's actually a naked photo of Eddie in a wig.
- Amusing Injuries: One of the most cartoonish no-long-term-consequences moments in the entire show occurs when Richie cuts both off Eddie's legs off with a chainsaw. Eddie then sews them back on with an ordinary needle and thread, but gets them back to front. Richie then cuts them off with the chainsaw again and sews them back on the right way round himself. Apart from walking strangely for a few moments, Eddie is unaffected.
- Breaking the Fourth Wall: "Charming man".
- Chainsaw Good: Richie reacts poorly to Eddie's reassurance that "all the birds love a scar", and cuts him down to size by chainsawing his legs off at the knee. He then has to do it again after Eddie sews his legs on back to front.
- Deadly Doctor: Dr Wildthroat, who gave Richie rabies last year for the cost of three quid.
- Disproportionate Retribution: Taken to extremes even by the standards of this show.
- Eddie causes Richie to fly out of the window. Despite not being badly hurt, Richie counters this by cutting Eddie's legs off below the knee with a chainsaw.
- Eddie punches a man simply for calling the world a beautiful place.
- Groin Attack: When Richie gets his head trapped under the fridge, Eddie kicks him in the bollocks.
- Noodle Incident: The last time they went on holiday, Eddie caused a gas explosion at the boarding house which killed the landlady.Eddie: Still, it was the first time we were warm on that holiday.
- Those Wacky Nazis: Richie's father, Oswald note Richard, is all but stated to have been a Nazi sympathizer and traitor to Britain. Richie is, of course, far too stupid to realise this.Eddie: [reading from a Luftwaffe exercise book owned by Richie's father] For all ze good vork you are doing for ze cause. Keep it up, Mum's ze vord. Adolf.
