Hex is taking some time off to simply sit at the edge of the TARDIS' mountain range and try to cope with what's happened to him recently. Ace comes to find him, provides some moral support and and convinces him to just come have some tea in the kitchen and talk about Hex' trauma....
The Seventh Doctor had taken his companions to the year 1649, during the siege of Drogheda. As soon as the Doctor found out when and where they were, he tried to leave again, but got caught up in a promise to at least protect a heavily pregnant woman named Mary from being raped by soldiers. While Ace and Hex scrambled about in the siege, Mary's husband was murdered. Meanwhile, Hex, believing that Ace and the Doctor were dead and he'd be stranded in 1649, reluctantly joined Cromwell's campaign and tried to reason with Cromwell, befriending the man (as well as Jonathan Goddard) in the process.
The Doctor and Ace decided to take Mary to Wexford before Cromwell would arrive there as well. That way, Mary would be safe with her late husband's twin brother, and they could be evacuated together. Hex could be found and taken back to the TARDIS However, the TARDIS — drawn to the action — jumped forward in time, to just hours before the Wexford siege. And Mary went into labour before they even reached the town. Hex had spent weeks travelling with Cromwell and Goddard, and although the friendship was still uneasy, he tried his best to change Cromwell's mind about his holy crusade. Cromwell was amused to have a friend named "Hex" who claimed to be a male nurse, and shrugged off the idea that the kid might be a witch. Until Hex, frustrated with Cromwell's religious stubbornness, exclaimed his usual "OH MY GOD!"... and promptly got badly beaten up by Cromwell and his men for taking the Lord's name in vain.
Meanwhile, the Doctor tries to assist Mary in giving birth, and eventually gets help from a very surprised and confused Jonathan Goddard. But Hex, still unaware that team TARDIS wasn't dead, escaped from Cromwell and joined the townspeople in their battle. Cromwell had been touched by Hex' words, and tried his best to find a peaceful solution, but Hex led the townspeople into battle out of sheer despair. It led to the slaugher of the village, including the accidental death of the women and children. Except Mary, who stood up to Cromwell (despite being extremely weakened from having just given birth) and promptly got shot in the chest by him for her defiance. The Doctor saved her life with technology that was definitely not from 1649, which Cromwell took as a heavenly sign. Just in time for Hex, who was being hung from the gallows. Goddard decided to start a society for spreading the medical knowledge he picked up from the Doctor, and Mary and her baby were able to live happily ever after.
In the aftermath, Hex asks Ace how he could possibly begin to cope. He considers leaving the TARDIS and asks Ace to come with him, and when she refuses, he tries to ask her to at least share a nice shag to get rid of some stress. She tells him he's more like a little brother to her. Hex decides to keep travelling in the TARDIS for a while longer.
Tropes
- Bavarian Fire Drill: The Doctor speaks two sentences to a soldier and has him calling him "Sir" and listening to him.
- Bigger on the Inside: The TARDIS has a mountain range.
- Break the Cutie: This episode is to Hex what "Ghost Light" was to Ace. Ace actually starts to tell Hex about that time the Doctor took her to a house back when she was a teenager, but quickly reconsiders.
- Continuity Nod: The Doctor mentions Ace having met her brother.
- With a dash of Call-Forward: He mentions having delivered one before. God bless Anachronic Order.
- Call-Back: Ace asks at one point if the Doctor has given his "You can't change history!" speech yet.
- Deliberate Values Dissonance: Seriously, don't yell "oh my God" around a bunch of Puritans. Blasphemy is serious business.
- Doom Magnet: It's given a Hand Wave by Ace saying the TARDIS probably does all of these trips on purpose.
- Foregone Conclusion: The story opens with Ace and Hex discussing the horrible things that happened to them, so it's a given that both will survive the events of the story they're about to relate, even if they suffer badly. Anyone familiar with Irish history will also know that the siege of Drogheda and the massacre of Wexford do not end happily for anyone.
- Give Me a Sword: Ace demands a sword in order to defend herself from the English soldiers invading Drogheda.
- Historical Domain Character: Oliver Cromwell, Jonathan Goddard.
- Hypocrite: Cromwell beats Hex saying "Oh my God", but later does it himself.
- I Warned You: A rather gentle example as the Doctor sadly reminds a wounded Ace that he told her not to fight in the battle.
- Nice Job Breaking It, Hero: Hex causes the massacre of Wexford. He doesn't cope well.
- Open Mouth, Insert Foot: Hex makes the mistake of exclaiming of Catchphrase "Oh my god!" in front of Oliver Cromwell, which Cromwell regards as blasphemy. Hex doesn't even realize what he's done and repeats it several more times, ultimately getting severely beaten up (and almost hanged) for it.
- Patchwork Map: The TARDIS has a mountain range near her kitchen and a lemon tree orchard in the library.
- Phlebotinum Analogy: The TARDIS is drawn to historical events like moths to a flame.
- Ship Tease: After the battles, Hex would really like to just have a nice shag (or maybe a date) with Ace and relax for a bit. He even asks her to come along with him if he should choose to leave team TARDIS. Ace tells him that she only sees him as a little brother.
- Shout-Out: Ace mentions she got her first name of Dorothy off of The Wizard of Oz.
- These Hands Have Killed: Hex commits murder, and really, really doesn't know how to cope.
